30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30

I've really been slacking on the blog front. That will probably continue. Here's a break from the silence though for a huge update.

OMG I'm 30. 

As we all know, that's basically the end of your life and I'm too old to do anything now. AARP has been trying to recruit me for months now but I think I still have a few good years left so I'll hold off on joining for now.

30 is going to be such a landmark year for me. I'm getting married! I have an awesome little family of Dan and animals and wine. In a few years we'll hopefully have a house and maybe a baby. I'm in the best shape of my life and I know I have so much more potential. I don't feel like I'm getting older (unless I'm drinking - MAN those late 20s hangovers are no joke), I just feel like I'm becoming more me. This year is going to be huge and I'm so happy that my return of Saturn has landed me in a really  awesome place - but it look a lot of learning to get here. I'm pretty sure every other blogger over the age of 30 has a version of this list but I've learned so many great things on my way here and I wanted to share them.

1. Smile. I wrote my college essay on smiling. I got into every school I used it for. The gist of it: No matter how you feel, you'll feel better when you smile. You're going to have bad days but smile. When someone sees you smile, they'll smile back. Do you know what that does? It makes you smile harder. A smile is the freest most effective thing that we can share with people so do it. Just smile.

2. Learn when to fight for a relationship and when not to. I think one of the things we go through in life are losing friendships and significant others whether we want to or not. I've had times in my life where I've held on for dear life to relationships where the other person didn't and it is draining. You don't need that. No one has time for that. In a similar vein - It's ok to say no sometimes to your friends. If you're draining yourself saying yes to everything people want you to do, you're going to burn out.

3. But those good friendships - make them last. I have friends all over the country and it means a lot to me to keep in touch with them and whether we talk once a week or once a year, they mean more to me than anything. Find ways to keep in touch even if it's mailing birthday cards or sending a random meme or linking a funny Instagram to them. I read a great article on this a few weeks ago - about showing up for your friends and being there for things that are important. As we grow up, our lives are going to get more busy but making that extra effort to be there for the big things is huge.

4. Experiences are better than possessions. Trust me, I love my possessions and I possess quite a few of them but more and more I'm taking loads of things to Goodwill and wishing I had a little extra money to go somewhere. I always remember the fun stuff and the trips and with Facebook and albums it's so fun to look back on those memories.

5. Never say you can't do something. I always told myself I'd never be a runner and then I started doing 5ks... but I would never do a half marathon... well, I've done two. When you tell yourself you can't do something, your only obstacle is yourself. I don't tell myself I can't do things anymore. I just decide if I'm going to or not. You can do anything. Really. Do it. I'll wait.

6. Constantly do things that challenges you. The times I feel best about what I'm doing with my life are when I'm pushing my limits and reaching goals that are challenging. The fitness classes I take - not easy. Juggling all the things I do - not easy. Never keep yourself from trying something because it's challenging. Challenges make you stronger.

7. ...but you don't have to challenge yourself every day. I almost wrote "do something that challenges you every day" but let's be real here - sometimes you just need a day off. Or a week off. Or a month off. Listen to your needs and give yourself breaks.

8. Listen to your body. As I get older, I appreciate my body more and more and I've learned to listen to it's queues. I eat when I'm hungry. I eat healthier when it feels tired or bloated. I rest it when it feels stressed. You only get one body and it baffles me how poorly some people treat theirs. I know the steps I take now giving my body a great foundation to fight any health challenges I might be pre-disposed to.

9. Treat yourself! It's no surprise I try to eat mostly paleo, but the key word is mostly. We make cookies all the time! That aren't paleo! Like processed cookies full of sugar! I love wine and have a glass almost every day. Dan and I both workout a lot and always have a lot going on and the occasional batch of cookies makes us really happy and that's worth it.


10. Be uncomfortable. I have a lot of comfortable days and they kind of blur together and aren't interesting. The days where I'm uncomfortable and challenged - those are the days that make me a better person. I feel tired and accomplished at the end of the day and that's growth.

11. Don't miss out on the life experiences. I have always cherished being at my friends' weddings or in my niece's life or having spent some of my aunt's last moments with her. I'm happy I live near my family now and miss out on even fewer life events. It's worth it to make that push to be with the people in your life during the big stuff.

12. Travel. Everyone will tell you this. Everyone is right. Pictures are nice but seeing something in person is truly amazing. Going places is amazing. Taking time off is amazing. Travel is all of that and you owe it to yourself to do it.

13. Be open to new experiences. If you're going to travel - do it 110%. Don't go to China and go to McDonald's. Eat the weird thing (but I mean maybe pack some Tums and bring a bottle of water), hike the mountain, jump off the bridge - just do it. It's only scary for about 5 seconds.

14. Unplug. I think my absolutely favorite thing about traveling abroad is not having access to my cell phone. All but one of the times I've been off the continent, I didn't get international cell phone coverage. It seemed like an unnecessary expense and I would just hop onto wifi every few days to look up maps or whatever I needed for my. It felt amazing to not be a slave to my phone and the reset always made me feel less attached to my phone in the months after coming back. The trips where I did have my phone - I didn't get that same escape.

15. Be conscientious. On one trip when I didn't get the international plan, everyone I was with did. I was excited to go out and just enjoy everyone's company but instead everyone else was plugged into their phones - they were just checking Facebook or sports scores too. It really bummed me out then they were more drawn to their phones than the experience of dinner in a foreign land - but most of all that no one noticed I was sitting their trying to talk to them and enjoy the experience. I know I've been guilty about this as well which is why I love remembering this experience and reminding myself to put my phone away.

16. Make things! I love my creative side. My mom and my aunt were always very supportive of me creating things. One taught me how to sew and let me go through her trunk of cross stitch projects and other sewing kits.The other showed me that you can use a paintbrush on a canvas or to paint a basket or to just make your own 3d object and paint that. My life has always been filled with so much creativity and I love starting new projects.

17. And share what you make. When my aunt passed away, it was really hard on me. She taught me so much about the things I love and it hurts every day that she's not here anymore. The only thing that makes it better is how much of her art I have. It makes me feel like I have a piece of her in my home and it keeps her close. We're not all going to be rich or famous and memories can fade but having something so personal to remember her by means the world to me. If I can leave one thing behind, I want it to be the things I made too.

18. It's ok to change your mind. I feel like we have so much pressure to make big decisions at a young age. Sometimes I run into my ex-boyfriend from college and he always asks me if I'm going to start that sports store or any of the other crazy ideas I had when I was 20. It's always a little bit of a shock to me because those were like 109809 ideas ago and I barely  remember that I ever wanted to do that. I also wanted to go to business school... in Paris... or Massachusetts... I've wanted to move to Brazil, I've wanted to get some pretty terrible tattoos. I wanted to be a professional Rollerblader at one point... or a model.. whichever worked out first. The point is, I hope 30 year old you is very different than 20 year old you so its ok to want different things.

19. But you don't have to change your mind either.  I think the only thing I've wanted to do that I still wanted to do many years later was move to San Diego. That was a pretty solid idea. Glad that one stuck around - but, for the record, for a couple of years I changed my mind on that one too....

20. You don't have to know what you're going to be when you grow up. Speaking of changing your mind - I change my mind on what I want to "do" about 27 times a weeks. And I'm 30. So if you think you're supposed to know what you want to do when you grow up when you're 17 and applying to colleges - you're wrong. You don't have to know when you're 17 or 22 or 30 or 87. You should probably figure out what you're going to do for the next few years but you don't have to keep that job or stay on that path. It's never too late to figure out what you want to be when you grow up. (Dan wanted me to add that you could also just never grow up. That works too. My theory on that is you can be a kid until you have kids and then you just fake being an adult but play with their toys and pretend you're doing it because you have to and not because you really want to play with toys.)

21. But maybe start getting ideas. I don't know what I want to be when I grow but I have ALWAYS known what kind of job I want to have. I want to be the boss. I don't think I will ever really be happy until I am running my own show. I want a job where I never feel like my intelligence, drive, or creativity are compromised. I want a job where no one makes me feel stupid or brings out my impatience. I want a job where I can be an effective leader while being kind and fair. I want to be rewarded for my hard work but I feel like if all of the above are crossed off, the job itself will be very rewarding. Every day I try to figure out what this job is and how to get there and hopefully I'm getting warmer.

22. You're not too old to be successful. The biggest road block I face day to day is feeling like I'm behind my peers. I see people around me who are doing so well and I feel like I'm being lapped - like we started in the same place but somehow my path took me in circles while they all moved ahead - and then I remember that I'm 30. I've been working for 8 years. There are more years left in my working life than the number of years I have been alive. 8 years down, 35 to go (which is depressing in a different way). So I'm not living the dream in my first 8 years of working - I'm sure most people aren't. I happen to have some pretty badass friends who are but I have a really long time to get there too. That's 35 years to figure out what I want to be when I grow up!

23. Always be the person you would want other people to be for you. Sometimes I get frustrated that other people aren't the friend I want I want them to be. Actually this is 100% of any problem I've ever had with any friend ever. I finally realized the best way for me to get a handle on it. I always expect people to do what I would do or what I would want them to do but other people are never going to be me. Recently, I had an experience where some friends completely baffled me with the way they acted in a situation. I won't get into it but it was so out of the box that it threw me for a loop and really bothered me and I finally realized what part of the issue was - and it was that I would never, ever want someone to see me the way that I saw them in that situation and that even though it's frustrating - when the situation is flipped I want to be the bigger person and do what I know is right.

Ok, there were a whole lot of really serious ones a row - let's lighten things up.

24. Libraries are awesome. Some of you probably realized this when I you were 8. I used to love the school library when I was a kid but then in high school I worked at a book store and then Amazon happened and then the Kindle and I just started buying tons of books. If you're going to spend lots of money on anything, books are probably a pretty quality way to go, but I was buying books and they'd sit around and not get read... and then someone in my San Diego book club mentioned the library... and a light bulb went off as if this institution hasn't been around long before me. I LOVE the library. I love hold lists. I love deadlines. I love putting books on reserve and getting my email and having 3 weeks to read it and then giving it back for someone else to enjoy. I feel like it gets me to actually read books a lot faster and it makes me feel like part of the community.

25. Be part of a community. One of my first resolutions when we moved to San Diego was to find a community to be a part of. I didn't 100% find an all inclusive community like I left in the Bay Area but I found a bunch of little ones and that's great too. I have my book club, I have the group of friends I made when I first moved here, I have Dan's gym, and hopefully soon I'll have some climbers. Having a few little communities has been a great way for me to nurture all of my different interests instead of needing one group to do it all.

26. One person or group is not going to fulfill all of your needs. This is probably my favorite of all the lessons. I was having dinner with a friend once a really long time ago and she said "I really don't like when a friend thinks a boyfriend should fulfill everyone one of her needs. I think he fills some needs and other friends fill other needs and you can't expect one person to be everything you need from people." It was the best observation of relationships I've ever heard to this day. Dan is amazing for me. We like so many of the same things. We also don't like a lot of the same things. However, a lot of the things we don't have in common - I have in common with a lot of my other friends. Dan is never going to love partying like crazy with me or going out to an expensive dinner but almost all of my girlfriends do. I have friends that are responsible and organized and friends that are fun and silly and they all fill a different need I have in my relationships. You can't fit someone into a need they don't fit into. Find how each friend fits into your life and don't expect more from them than that.

27. Find the needs you need in your partner. Again, not everyone is going to be perfect. There is no prince charming who will magically be all things wonderful and amazing. Find what YOU need. I needed someone who could be silly and weird. I needed someone who would challenge me without frustrating me or putting me down. I needed someone who would be ok with my strong personality and my goals. I needed someone who could just go along with my crazy ideas sometimes. I have all of that in Dan. I think it takes a really special man to be with a strong woman and be confident in their manliness as well and I'm happy that my partner supports everything I do and builds me up and encourages me. If you're reading this though Dan - I wouldn't mind a few more flowers :* but thanks for killing all the spiders.

28. Brunch is one of the best things ever. It's even better than libraries. I know, right? Sometimes I think Dan is just with me because it's not socially acceptable for single men to go to brunch (not judging if you do - just keeping doing you). Brunch has reached a new level of awesome since we moved to San Diego. There's brunch on the beach. There's brunch with 10 different kinds of Eggs Benny (which is like the prom queen of brunch). There's buffet brunches. There's luxurious champagne brunches in fancy restaurants. Brunch is nothing new but when you mix it with everything else San Diego has to offer, it really just becomes extra special. I don't have birthday parties anymore, I have birthday brunches. I have parties anymore I have brunch potlucks. Just... brunch. 

29. Eat real food. Haha - I wasn't going to let you sneak away with out a little Paleo push. It's definitely related to loving your body, but eating real food has been one of the best lifestyle changes ever. Dan and I don't even really eat paleo anymore. We eat whole grain bread and tortillas and corn. We just make sure to really cut back on the processed stuff. It's been a great balance for us since we need more carbs with the amount that we work out. I also started a veggie garden which makes me so happy and has been an excellent happy place. It's really fulfilling to spend months starting from a little seed to eventually having vegetables you can eat and I can't wait until we buy a place and can really ramp up the garden. Also - the occasional cookie ;)

30. You can be really happy or you can be really upset all the time and it's always your choice. (disclaimer - barring mental illness, etc). I saw that in a magazine once when I was 18 and I hung it in the wall in my college dorm room. I've had many bedroom walls since then but the quote has stuck with me. Whenever I get upset about something or I'm sad or just in a funk - I try to remember that quote. I don't always succeed but every now and I then I think - "why am I feeling like this? This is all in my head. I could be upset or I could go play with the dog or watch a movie or go for a run or have a glass of wine." It doesn't always work but it helps get through the bad days sometimes. 

I think the best thing about all the things I've learned is going through them and remembering the lessons. I'm not perfect, I break my own rules all the time but a trip through memory lane is a great way to remember my experiences and my journey until this point. I still have a million things to learn but these 30 things have been a really good foundation on my journey through life.

2016 New Years Resolutions

Better late than never! I always try to get this ready to launch on the first... but I guess we're doing the first of February instead of January this year. Good thing none of my resolutions are being timely.

For those of you who are new - one of the few things that have been constant on my blog are my annual New Years Resolutions. I've always loved how making them public adds a level of accountability. It's also taught me about how to make resolutions that are accomplishable and realistic. I don't always get them all of them done but it is nice to see how much I can get done each year.

So let's see what I have in store for 2016.

Not Be a Bridezilla

One of the biggest things happening in 2016 is my wedding! It's a really exciting time but also stressful for sure. As the planning ramps up, I can definitely understand how some people lose it. I really want to make sure I keep my priorities in line though. From the start, I've wanted this to be a fun event that really reflects my relationship from Dan and keeping that perspective has helped a lot. We've been lucky that we had a reasonable list of "must haves" that are falling in line easily and we're not wasting energy on things that aren't important. However, with any big event, there are always surprises and wild cards and you can't control everything so the goal will be to keep my cool when things don't work out.

If any readers want to help out here - I've already had people get mad at me for choices I've made regarding the wedding. I can't keep everyone happy and I will never be happy if I try to do that. I'm working hard to make this a fun event and to make as many people feel included and thought of as possible. I'm not going to get 100% on this. If in any way I upset in this process, I am sorry. Please don't yell at me. It is not my intention to exclude or alienate anyone.

Maintain or Gain

Here's your typical weight related New Year's Resolution... but with a twist. I lost a lot of weight last year - probably about 15 pounds all together. It was definitely way further than I thought I would get and I don't want to lose anymore weight. I feel more comfortable, my clothes fit, and I feel really healthy. I think my next step is building some more muscle weight. I was doing so much running last year that I think some of the weight I lost was muscle weight and I want to build that back up and really look and feel strong. This past month I've been working on building a solid but fun weekly exercise routine where I'm working hard to get strong and see all the work pay off. I can't imagine anything sexier than having toned back and arm muscles as I toss my bouquet on my wedding day.

Start a Passive Income Business

At a brunch a few weeks ago, some friends suggested I start an Etsy store because I'm always doing crafty things. "Well, I have one" was my response. Yea, I have an Etsy store and it does really ok. Right now I just sell cross stitch patterns, but it's been pretty good. I keep a large quantity of digital downloads and when one is purchased, I just get an email that money has been sent to my Paypal. I don't have to do anything because my buyers instantly get to download they're pattern. I do very little and make about $10-30 a month on two patterns. Two. My goal is to make more creative and fun patterns and get that amount more. All of my work is on the front end of creating the patterns and then the store runs on it's own. I just need to make the time to make my patterns and have the extra dollah bills roll in.

MexiCAN

Last year I had resolutions to go to Mexico and Canada. Of course, I made it to the country that is three states away and not the one I can drive to in 30 minutes. There's no excuse for that. I am definitely making it down there this year.

Watch My Temper

Last year, I got upset about something and it almost cost me a friendship. I've always been a little sensitive and it definitely hurts my relationships. I really want to think about things before getting upset and find more constructive ways about communicating the things that upset me. The trick here will also be to make sure I don't let myself get walked over to the point where I get frustrated. Already this year, I've had a week where I had to back down and back down and back down and finally after a week of it, I completely snapped over something small and spent the whole night crying....

Keep It All About Balance

...which leads to the last resolution. Everything is a give and take and this year is going to be keeping my cool while standing up for myself and giving up something for the wedding to keep another thing that is more important and balance and compromise and patience. This year is going to be amazing and trying and it's going to have a lot of ups and downs. In this first month, I've already seen a lot of that. I want to make sure I keep my perspective and find the balance of when to work hard and when to take time for myself and when to back down and when to fight back. I think working on those skills will be great for building character and give me the right tools to take into a marriage.

2015 New Year's Resolution Recap

It's the last day of the year - time to look back on 2015 and see how we did with our resolutions. I take my resolutions pretty seriously and I love putting them on the blog so I feel more accountable to them. So... let's see how I did!!!

Visit at Least Two New Countries 

My goal was to go to Canada and Mexico. It always felt weird to me that with all of the traveling I've done, I'd never been to the two closest countries. I had a half marathon in Canada so that was a sure thing. It was so cool going to a country so similar to the United States but still so different. I also LOVE exchange rates and this one was nicely in our favor. Most things were similar in price but the exchange gave Dollar holders a 30% discount. I also went on this trip with 3 of my best friends that I'd moved away from and it was so fun getting the gang back together.

I didn't do so well with Mexico though. Even though I could have done this one by simply driving 45 minutes and walking across the border, I totally dropped the ball. It sounds so easy but I was worried about traffic and safety. I think the best way to do this would be to find a bus tour or something to go a little further south than TJ, and spend a couple of days in Ensenada with Dan. It's definitely going back on the list for next year.

Run a Half Marathon 

I didn't run a half marathon this year... I ran TWO. I'm sign up for two more next year and I can't wait! Having a big race to train for is the best way to keep me accountable on runs and I need that to get myself out the door. The races themselves are a huge challenge but there are so many fun things to experience along the way - gorgeous views, cheerers, funny signs, music. The experience of the races are great. So is the training though because was the best way to...

Fall in Love... With San Diego 

Since I was running 3-4 times a week, I got to explore a lot of San Diego. We luckily lived in a area where I had a ton of trails - the harbor, all around Balboa Park, and then just exploring other hikes and trails I could drive to. Now we live in a new neighborhood and I'm excited to lace up my running shoes and explore these trails too. 

San Diego as a whole is really amazing though. It feels like a mix of my favorite things about the Bay Area and LA and I'm excited to keep having adventures in our new home. 

Find a Community in San Diego 

This was an interesting one for me. In the Bay Area, I had such a big group of friends from college and then my smaller blondetourage. When I made this resolution, I was kind of thinking something similar - I would find another huge group and a smaller group within that. However, so far, it's been more isolated one off friendships - and there is nothing wrong with that. At the moment, I think I'm making great one on one relationships and that can be a lot stronger than a big community. We've only been here a year, so a big community is still possible but I'm so happy I've made a few awesome friends for now. 

Finish a Big Creative Project 

This is one of those resolutions that turned out completely different than I imagined. I thought my big creative project would be a huge cross stitch (which I'm working on) or an awesome new cosplay (materials purchased!) but I didn't finish any of those (yet!) because something else came up.

Over the summer, my aunt passed away. She was a big reason why I love creating things. She taught me how to paint and sculpt. She showed me art can be as simple as painting a basket, coloring in the lines, or creating beautiful ceramics. I always felt bad that I didn't take art classes in college or keep pursuing art as much as I wanted to. I've been better in recent years with my costumes and cross stitch, but after she passed, I decided to take that art class. I got to create several awesome projects. The biggest would of course be a several foot long topographic map of California made of corks. I know my aunt would be proud of me and I look forward to taking more of them in the future.

Open Up Our Hearts 

This resolution was about adopting a new pet. I wanted a puppy long before Rocco passed away. I remember that awful day though and I turned and cried into Dan that I didn't even want a puppy any more because pets die far too soon. Obviously, I didn't mean that, but it is hard to lose a pet.

I fell in love with Harley the moment I saw her. I knew she was the puppy we were taking home. She immediately felt so comfortable and perfect with us. As she's grown, I know we got just the right dog. She's not too small but definitely not big. She's athletic and so so loving. Like her parents, she can be a little... willful, but at the end of the day, all she wants is cuddles and belly rubs and kisses. She perfectly fit the whole in our hearts and keeps up with our lifestyle.

I'd be lying if I didn't look at her sometimes and realize that I only get so much time with her. That's always the problem with opening your heart to a pet, they sadly don't stick around as much as you want them to, but I know we are going to love her as much as possible for as long as we have her.

The Trifecta -

This one was at the back of my mind the whole year and it just didn't happen. Between my family tradgedies, training for the half, art classes, and finances, I just couldn't make it happen. I'd like to say it will be pushed to next year but doing these races is really expense and we have a wedding to put on. I do belong to a couple of gyms now though so my goal is to keep up with training and be ready to tackle the beast (and super and sprint) in 2017!


2015 was a wild ride and I'm looking forward to next year. I hope it's a little more stable - the ups and downs of moving, getting a puppy, losing an aunt, getting engaged, and moving again have made it hard for us to enjoy every day adventures or travel so onto the next. Happy New Year everyone! 

On Getting Engaged

Wow, it's crazy to believe it's been over a month since we've gotten engaged and I'm only writing about it now. To say life has been crazy lately would be an understatement. I've been taking art classes 6 hours a week, beginning to plan our wedding, moving to a house, running another half marathon, and all while still working full time and maintaining healthy eating habits and friendships. Life definitely has been a whirlwind but we haven't been bored here for sure, and well, getting around to writing hasn't been a priority. I think, in general, blog posts are going to be slow for a while. I think a lot of my other projects show more tangible results for me and so this is an outlet that I just don't really need as much anymore. I'll still be popping in every now and then but I think I'm going to chill out from the regularly scheduled blog events. So yadda yadda yadda, let's talk engagement!

How It Happened

Dan and I love photo booths. We are self proclaimed rock stars at them. So when we went to a costume party and he pulled out the ring while we were in the photo booth, it was pretty perfect. It also meant that we got photos of the occasion which makes me so happy! It was also the start of Halloween weekend which meant that we had a lot of fun events to go to and were seeing a lot of friends in person so we could share the good news face to face.

Was It a Surprise?

Not really. We'd talked about getting married a lot and a few weeks before I went ring picking. I showed Dan the one I liked and then left him in store and waited... errrr... patiently... ish... until he popped the question! Someone brought up a good point - no one should be totally surprised by a proposal. If you haven't discussed getting married at all... then you probably shouldn't yet. It's about more than a wedding, it's about building a life together. Obviously, as a couple that's lived together for almost two years, moved across the state together, and adopted a dog, we've been building a foundation for that life.

On Marriage 

Marriage is scary. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. It's crazy to think that this is a decision that is supposed to be for the rest of my life. I think that's something that should be intimidating. It's a big deal. I spend a lot of time thinking about what a big commitment this is and the more I think about it, the more I realize how lucky I am to have a guy like Dan. I'm not the kind of woman who wants to be a little wifey, staying at home cooking and cleaning. I've always wanted someone who would be a partner and treat me like an equal and never be intimidated by my big personality. I have that in Dan and so much more. He's patient when I'm (usually) not, he drives me wine tasting, and he's always finding fun things for us to do. We definitely bring out the best in each other and I don't think I would have been able to do things like the half marathons or Whole 30 without him pushing me and encouraging me. Trust me, I did not make it easy for him to keep reminding me that I needed to get my runs in each week. Like he always says - "If the rest of our lives are like the last two years, this marriage thing will be easy."

Yea, Yea, Let's Talk About the Wedding Though

Omg THE WEDDING! Ok, so yea, I'm really excited about planning a wedding. We've dream planning pieces of our wedding and now we get to actually see what's possible. So far we have the deposit paid our top choice venue, but we probably can't have the dog be the ring bearer. I guess you win some and you lose some.

People keep seeming surprised by how much we've done already, but I organize things for a living and this is something I'm so excited about putting together. We're also getting married 10 months from now so we can't just sit around and hope it all works out. I'd rather tackle things that we can now and not be stressing out closer to the big day.

Man, I don't even know what else to write on the subject.I don't want to give away any details about the wedding on my public blog since a) I want there to be some element of fun and surprise for our guests b) this is a public blog and we're having a moderately sized private wedding.

All in all though, we are so excited about everything happening! Getting engaged is super exciting and to top it off we're moving to a house is a beautiful bayside neighborhood. Life has been moving so fast and has been so busy lately. Hopefully, once we get settled in our new house we can relax and take it all in!

Seawheeze 2015 - My First Half Marathon

Well, this post was supposed to come right after the Whole 30 wrap ups... better late than never though! Part of the reason it's been slow in coming is that I've been really busy lately - my work has picked up, I started taking art classes two nights a week, I've been organizing some book club meetings, and I got a little part time job as well. All of that plus my normal working out, cooking, and socializing has made me a very busy woman.

The other reason for the stop in posts is a little bit of writer's block. With my schedule, I don't have time for another challenge. I was thinking of just doing casual updates on balancing a busy schedule while still making healthy meals and keeping up with fitness but I know I do better with some kind of format so I'll have to think about a way to organize posts that won't be stressful for me.

But let's hear about that half marathon thing!!!

that's how long a half marathon is in Canadian

Girl's Weekend

One of the things I was looking forward to most about the trip was a chance to spend time with three of my best friends. The hardest part about moving to San Diego was leaving them and so it was exciting to have all of us in the same place once again. Getting four girls with strong personalities together can sometimes be a little rocky, but we had such an easy going, amazing time together. My friend Shannon took the lead on getting everything organized for us which was really awesome. She even made sure to find restaurants that would be Whole30 approved so I wouldn't have to cheat the last couple days of my challenge (and possibly upset my stomach before the race).

What's a Seawheeze Anyways?

Seawheeze is the official Lululemon half marathon. My friends are obsessed with Lululemon and Seawheeze is kind of a must try for all Lulu addicts. In terms of a race though... it's really more of an experience. For the entry fee you receive your race entry, a ticket to a festival, two yoga classes (plus yoga at the festival), exclusive Lululemon shorts, post race brunch, access to an exclusive runner's store, and lots of little bonuses and goodies along the way. All of that for half the price of a Disney race where you get a shirt and the race. The whole event is really designed to just make you feel relaxed and strong and loved and happy. It truly was something really special.

Tell Me More About that Exclusive Runner's Store...

Before Seawheeze, I had about 5 Lululemon things: a backpack I love and use everyday, two sports bras that basically suffocate me, and a bikini set that does not contain my assets. The last four items I got on super sale but didn't love and Lululemon just didn't seem worth the price tag to me.

And then the shorts arrived.

Like I said, your race entry gets you a pair of exclusive shorts for runners only. I didn't love the pattern when they arrived but there were two good points - they go with everything (the pattern is black with a variety of colored circles of different prints), and when you wear them, other Seawheezers will know you are also training for the race. I decided to wear them for my weekly long run in case I saw in anyone else. I only saw one other person wearing the shorts while I was training, but I came to realize that the shorts were the most comfortable things I had ever worn while running. By the time I'd left for the trip, I'd ordered another pair, a couple of sports bras, and a yoga mat. I had drank the Lulaid.

At first, I told my friends that I was going to sleep in while they waited in line for the store, but as we got closer to the trip, I started reading blog posts from past Seawheezers and really wanted to check out the store. I ended up waking up with them and bringing home a few souvenirs.

strategically does not show you how much stuff I bought

Luckily, Canadough is much weaker than the dollar so it was like getting some new shorts on sale! It also felt like a great way to reward myself for two major accomplishments - losing the ten pounds on Whole30 and earning some more fitting clothing as well as getting into a better workout and running schedule. Since these were the most comfortable running shorts I'd ever found, why not get some more to make running more enjoyable?

The actual store experience is a little crazy - think Black Friday gone mad. We waited in line for three hours and still had to search high and low to find items in our size. We heard plenty of horror stories about women stealing items out of other people's hands. Luckily, we didn't experience any of that and mostly all got what we wanted.

The Yoga

My friends and I decided to do two of the yoga sessions - the sunset yoga the day before our race and the yoga at the festival after our race. The two sessions could not have been more different. The sunset yoga was probably one of the worst yoga experiences ever. The instructor made inappropriate jokes, told us all we focus too much on social media, and seemed so disconnected from the practice. The only joy I got from it was watching one of my friends make faces every time the instructor said something ridiculous.

The festival yoga though - that was probably the best yoga class I've ever been to. To start, we were doing it outside in Stanley Park - which is just gorgeous if you've never been. Secondly, Shannon and I had picked up some of the exclusive Seawheeze beer so we had some er.... refreshments... for our practice. Mostly though - the teacher was amazing. She made it light hearted and fun. She told jokes and played sensual 90s R&B. She admitted she'd had a glass of wine already and was also having a good time. She also went through poses that helped us stretch and relax our muscles that had worked so hard earlier that day. It almost made me wish I lived in Vancouver so I could go to more of her classes.

The Run

But how about that run huh? I mean, that was the reason for this whole trip. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard. It was incredibly hard. Running for almost 3 hours (because I'm slow) is a long time. The race really fell into two parts for me though. The first half was pretty great. I did the first 10 k in 1:11. My fastest 10k by itself... is 1:07. So I think two things happened here - 1) my training really paid off and I'm improving in my running a lot 2) I gave it too much gas in the first half which really hurt me later. I think it was about 70% #1 and 30% #2 because despite going pretty fast (for me), I never hit a point where I was out of breath or tired. I also had a great motivation - kilometers 9-10 (miles 5-6) were a turn around point. Since my friends are all faster than me, I knew we would pass eachother and I was NOT about to look like I was struggling. I trained hard and I wanted to show it. When I passed my first friend, I got so excited that I got a burst of energy and it kept me going through seeing the other two. 

And then... the second half happened. After I'd passed all of my friends, the adrenaline lost the battle and I got a terrible stomach cramp. I tried to push through it but it felt terrible so I decided to stop and walk the next part (which was all uphill anyways). Once I got to the top of the hill, I felt better and got running again. I did pretty well for the next 5k. Around kilometer 15 (mile 9), I just started feeling a little tired of running. I decided to go on a walk/run alternate. Luckily, by this part, we were in Stanley Park and my views were awesome. There was so much race entertainment and so many people and groups cheering, that it really helped motivate me to keep going. 

the most beautiful sign in the whole world

And then finally it was the light at the end of the tunnel. The 20k (less than one mile left!!!) was one of the happiest things I'd ever seen. I even stopped to get a photo of it because I was so happy to be on the last kilometer. My Pandora (quick disclaimer: I listen to a Broadway Showtunes channel because I'm a little weird and I love musicals and they make me happy and happy people run better) station totally clued in because right then, Let It Go came on. It gave me so many happy memories of another race I'd done with Shannon and all I wanted to do was throw my arms out and sprint, kind of like the one scene in the movie when Elsa is singing the song and running up the stairs.

not a good way to finish a half marathon

So I basically started singing the song in my head and picking up my pace. I definitely had some energy stored up and I figured it was a good time to use it anyways since the race was almost over...

And then more cramps hit. About 100x worse than the ones at the halfway point. I wanted to push through and just finish but it hurt way too bad. Of course, another great Broadway song came on after Let It Go but I just couldn't pick it up. I managed to lightly run across the finish line because I didn't want to be the one walking at the end, was just happy to be done. I almost started crying because the cramps hurt so bad but eventually I got my free brunch and found my friends and warmed up and that helped a lot. 

So as to how it went... well, it's complicated. Depending on what half you look at it was either one of my best races or one of my worst. All in all though, I feel like it was what a first race should be. It was hard and I struggled but I feel like from here I can just keep training and working and getting better.

The Party

And then came the after party!!! Well, then came a nap and some poutine but after that came the after party!!! I already talked about the awesome yoga, but the rest of the festival was awesome as well!

First, the Lululemon Seawheeze beer was actually really good! It was a light lager with a little bit of a citrus finish. It definitely was a good re-introduction to alcohol after my 30 days off and it was fun to try it out with my friends... while doing yoga.

The festival itself also was just so well organized and clean. I mean, a lot of that probably has to do with the fact that most of the attendants had run a half marathon that morning, but still - the bathrooms never got gross, no one ever got too crazy. It was really nice. Also - the drinks were only $6... in Canadian. So like $4 in real money. I don't think drinks are that cheap anywhere.

St. Lucia

The bands were also amazing. I'm not too up to date on what's cool and hip in the music scene (remember back when I said my Pandora station was Broadway...) so I hadn't heard of the bands but St. Lucia was amazing. Even though I was exhausted, I still got up and danced a little. I definitely want to check out more of their music and maybe see them again if they come to San Diego!

It's All About the Journey, Not the Finish Line

But my biggest take away from the race... was that all of my hard work paid off. A half marathon is hard. Training for a half marathon though is the hardest part. I had to give up drinking for a month (I didn't have to I guess but not drinking made it easier to get up for runs). I had to wake up early Saturday mornings and go run for hours. I did lots of yoga and strength training. I put a lot of hours into just getting to the half marathon... and I'm signed up for a few more so I'm going to be doing this again and again and again.

With all of that hard work though, it meant a lot to me to have so many friends supporting me. The friends who did the race with me bought me an engraved necklace since they'd all gotten one at the Nike Women's Half. Many other friends texted and facebooked and asked how it went as well. It really just showed me that I have amazing people in my life and that I want to continue to surround myself with supportive people as I continue to make friends in San Diego. It's also made me think more about what I can do to be thoughtful and supportive of my friends in return.

The half marathon really was the start of something. I knew I'd want to do a few more of them. I knew I'd want to continue working towards improving in the Spartan community. I also knew I'd be coming home and starting my art classes. My life was about to get a lot more hectic and I felt like the race was a good experience to get my head in the right place and realize what's important and that would give me the power to really tackle everything ahead of me.

Holy crap we walked a lot of steps that day

Whole30 Wrap Up

Disclosure - I've been writing this entry as I've been going along. Some of my views may have changed a little so if it is disjointed, I apologize in advance.

I've outlined this as a little FAQ. Some of these are questions we've been asked. Some are questions I imagine you want to ask. Some are just answers because I like talking at my readers and if you're reading this, I'm guessing you're ok with that.

I'm so proud of this transformation so here it is again!

What Did You Miss the Most?

Easy - chocolate, cheese, and wine. Between those three, they varied a lot. At first, it was cheese. I'd gotten to the point where I was using it as a crutch and putting it in almost all of my food. I love cheese, but I see now how ridiculous it was. However, to compensate, I've been smothering everything in hot sauce so I'm not sure I learned much.

Wine and chocolate were really sorely missed when I was having difficult days. Those were the ones where I needed both but there were always instances where one seemed more preferable to the other. The day when I had the really bad cramps, I would have loved some chocolate. I always think about how in Harry Potter they use chocolate to help heal. Part of my believes that's real and I needed that chocolate healing power some of my 30 days.

At first, I didn't miss the wine much at all. It was more... something to do? I was worried about temptation to drink going out but staying in made me realize how much I just enjoy having a glass while I'm reading or watching TV. Later in the Whole30, I was really stressed and wanted some wine just to wind down. There were also some days where I would just think about the wine that would be perfect for that moment - maybe because it paired with my dish or the day was particularly nice and I wanted a refreshing glass of rose.

However, not being able to have those 3 things did accomplish something for me - it gave me more freedom over my actions. If I have wine and am tipsy, I can't work out.. same thing if cheese makes me feel less than optimal. It was nice to not have anything keeping me from an evening workout or doing what I needed to do. Obviously, chocolate is perfect and has no ill side effects so it doesn't really apply here.

What did you enjoy the most?

Buying new clothes now that I'm skinnier!! Just kidding...

If you've been reading this blog for a long time, I bet you know the answer. I loved finding new things to cook that were totally Whole30 compliant and super delicious. I have so many cook books that I largely ignore and instead I dove head first into them. I got to make so many awesome dishes and I have so many more untouched recipes. I think we could do a Whole365 and still only have to repeat things just because we like the taste and not out of lack of ideas.

We definitely were not bored with our meals

What Was the Hardest Part?

The hardest part of my Whole30 had nothing to do with Whole30. In the course of my 30 days my Aunt that I was very close with passed away, my work was very hectic, and I was training for a half marathon. Any of these situations on their own would have been hard to deal with and I had them all piled against me at once. These are all also situations that people tend to use as excuses to binge. I couldn't binge on Whole30 .

And that was a very good thing.

I think it's easy to latch onto our hardships as excuses and instead I had to find other ways to cope. While the running and half marathon training started out as a struggle, it ended up being a very useful form of stress relief. I also had my determination to finish and enjoy Whole30 to latch onto. I found a better way to work through my difficulties and have learned that instead of eating my feelings or drinking my stress, I can pour myself into a project or challenge and get a much better result.

I also think some of the rules are little too strict. I know a couple of things I used had little residual amounts of sugar (as a preservative), While the rest of the ingredients were clean or organic, this would still be non-compliant. I didn't stress over these things though so I guess I technically didn't have a perfect Whole30. I also think going strict on the "no treats even if the ingredients are all ok" is too much as well. Using paleo treats or alternatives are a great way to make healthier choices while still having fun with food.

Food is also a very social thing. However, eating out provides a lot of food and drink temptations. I found it easier to stay in than tease myself. While this helped me find lots of drink-free activities, it also made it harder to hang out with my friends because I didn't want to force this on them. I'm much happier now that I can find a balance of fun nights out and staying in to cook healthy meals.

Should I Try Whole30?

Early in my Whole30, I wrote out a whole long answer to this that basically said you shouldn't unless you have a lot of health problems, want to lose a lot of weight, or aren't drinking anyways because you're pregnant or don't drink or whatever. I deleted that whole thing because now that I've finished, I don't think that's the case.

So let's start over - before I can tell you if you should try Whole30, you need to ask yourself what you want to gain from this. Maybe you just saw my blog and haven't thought about it too much, or maybe you want a change for some reason. Limiting your diet for 30 days isn't easy. I think you need to really need to have at least one good reason that you can cling to when it starts getting tough. That will get you through the first 15 days. After that, your desire to not want to throw away the fact that you made it that far, will probably take you the rest of the way - but back to that one good reason. For me, it was wanting to do the most for my body to feel as good as possible going into my first half marathon. I also wanted my clothes to fit better but I'm not sure that would have been enough on its own.

If you need help thinking of good reasons - here are some:

• Lose weight - I know I just said that wasn't a great reason... but that was for me. I wasn't big to begin with though and my weight struggles were more with the increasing difficulty of staying the same size as we age. I wasn't overweight by any means. However, some people have much more difficult weight struggles. If your weight is impacting your health and you've tried everything and it's not working - try this. 
• Have more energy - Do you feel lethargic all the time? Are you not able to enjoy things because you're tired and mopey? Try this. Whole30 eating is a great way to give your body the type of fuel it really needs to function well. Be warned though - the first week, you'll be the type that are hit extra hard by the lethargy bus as your body adapts. 
• Battle long term health issues - I can't speak to this one personally, but the Whole30 book has a ton of stories from people with all ranges of health issues and inflammations that saw them decline or disappear over their 30 days. 
• Break bad food or drink habits - I didn't realize how far off the bus I'd fallen on this one until I was depriving myself of treats or drinks. Now that I'm post Whole30, I'm learning responsible ways to indulge. I want to drink less because I don't like feeling cloudy or not in control of myself. Treats feel more like much deserved rewards for my athletic endevours - rewards that I have to earn and rewards that I try to limit to one a day. I'm picking up better habits that let me enjoy fun food and treats without letting them take control of my life.
• Sleep better - I definitely have minor insomnia. While this didn't completely go away, I found that I slept through the whole night better. This led to me naturally waking up well before my alarm feeling rested and that means longer days where I can do more with my life. Paired with more energy - I feel pretty unstoppable some days.
• Combat/ identify food allergies - A lot of people have more food allergies than they're aware of and these could be affecting the way you feel from the energy and sleep mentioned above to just having stomach aches or cramps. I've had a few friends who didn't realize for a long time that they had gluten sensitivities and it's been a big life changer to find that out. 
• Prepare for an athletic event - This was my main reason and it was a great driver. I was having trouble waking up for my runs and was feeling really burnt out. Making a big dietary adjustment like this helped get me really into my half marathon training and I'm actually excited to do more of them. I feel like I'm just unlocking my body's potential.. at 29... I wish so much that I'd discovered this earlier when my body would have had even more ability.
• Teach kids healthy eating habits - Some people tell me they can't do this because they have children... wouldn't you rather have your kids growing up eating veggies and healthy snacks than junk food? Nomnompaleo.com is a really good resource for this. She has two kids and talks a lot about snacks and what things they love and teaching her children good habits from the get go. Remember how I said I wish I could have unlocked my body's potential at a younger age? Don't you want to give that gift to your kids? The Whole30 guidelines also say that children or those pregnant or breast feeding can and should eat lots of snacks and feed their growing bodies. 

So - if any of these scenarios might apply to you, give it a shot. It's 30 days. In the grand scheme of things, that's not very long. You can do anything for 30 days. If you hate it after that and feel terrible, that's it, you're done. But I really doubt it will come to that. 

Also - you can share this awesome picture if you make it all 30 days. I know you are all going to start your Whole30 RIGHT NOW just for that.

Any Tips for Getting Started or Having Success?

Definitely!!! Here are some bullet points:

• Buy the book - For a paleo beginner, the recipes will be very helpful. I've been cooking mostly paleo for years so there was nothing dazzling in it for me but it really holds your hand through each day. The first 15 days or so are very difficult and the book gives a nice guide for getting through them as well as what you have to look forward too. There are also a lot of recipes for basic sauces and condiments you can make at home so you're not missing out on mayo or ketchup or BBQ sauce.
• Clean out the pantry/fridge - In general, I try not to keep anything "bad" in the house. I never buy bread, highly processed foods, etc. However, I had a lot of gluten free or paleoish snacks lying around. To deal, I put them all in a paper bag and hid them in the closet. When I first went paleo, I donated a lot of "bad" food to the food bank too. 
• Get Inspired - Like I said, the book doesn't have the most dazzling recipes ever... but they are out there. Look up famous paleo bloggers to get good recipes. Paleomg, Nom Nom Paleo, Balanced Bites, and Primal Palate are just a few great resources with lots of new recipes showing up all the time. They all have at least one cook book as well if you want to invest a little money in it. Feel free to ask me what my personal favorites are! 
• Make shopping lists and plan ahead - Recipe planning and lists will save you! I like to bookmark / flag/ pin exciting recipes. When I'm planning a shopping trip, I'll look through them and see what jumps out at me and make lists. Don't forget to include some basics and staples though that you'll use all the time like eggs, fruits, hot sauce, prosciutto, and avocados... at lest those are my staples... those might vary depending on your tastes
• Invest in your kitchen - The best way to do this is really to cook. Eating out for every meal will not get you the results you want because even if you check every box and modify your order, there's a good chance some non compliant ingredients lurking. However, cooking can be hard and this is where kitchen tools come in handy. You obviously don't need to spend hundreds of dollars on this but if you want to make this a lifestyle change, it's helpful to pick up a new tool every few weeks. Here are my favorites:
• One really good knife - of course more are better but one very good knife that you can use for anything will save you a lot of frustration
• A food processor - this is the most pricey item, but is a big time saver and will allow you to make sauces, soups, salsas, purees, or just chop things quicker. I have one that has attachments for a blender, processor, and smoothie cups which is awesome.
• A spiralizer - this is the most fun item on the list. If you were every wondering how to make zoodles, this is it! 
• A Crock Pot - for all those times you think "I don't have time to cook." I used my Crock Pot several times during Whole30 and I'm excited to keep unlocking it's potential. It's so awesome to pop a few ingredients in, turn it on, and then go to sleep or work and have dinner cooking in the background

Will You Continue Whole30 or Do Another One?

So after all of that, I'm sure you know what my answer is.... yes! I don't know if I would commit to another pure Whole30 short of being pregnant or completely losing all self control. I might consider hoping on the January ones every year as a post-holiday detox, but other than that, doing a full 30 day Whole30 might not be necessary.

However, I think Dan and I both really liked the effects and want to strive to a mostly Whole30 lifestyle. I'm obviously going to start having wine and cheese and chocolate again but maybe in moderation now. I think we don't have to eat out and have cheat meals as much. I want to use treats as an award for my hard work. For example, I still have leftover birthday cake in the freezer. I had a bad day last week and almost ate it... and then stopped myself. I wanted to earn it so I'm saving it for after one of my long runs.

I also really like Melissa Hartwig's "One Bite Rule." The rule is that if you decide you can or want to have a cheat meal in your clean post-Whole30 life, there's nothing wrong with that. However, if you take a bite of your treat and realize it isn't everything you hoped and dreamed it would be, you're not obligated to finish it. We trick ourselves into thinking we have to and we feed our cravings by doing that.

Are You Driving the Food-Train or Does Dan Have Some Input? How Does He Feel About This?

We have a pretty easy time balancing our relationship and food. I buy and make most of the food we eat and Dan mostly goes along with it. He lets me know what he likes and doesn't like and I take that into account when I'm figuring out meals. Sometimes he'll say "We haven't had x in a while." or "We should grill soon." or something and I'll work on that too. I'd like to think about it as a very balanced, adult relationship. He's pretty open to trying new things that I make and I try to be sensitive to not making it too spicy or citrusy or whatever he doesn't like (especially since it's pretty easy to add that stuff to just my own plate).

What really surprised me though, was how much he ended up loving all of this. He wasn't as strict as me, of course. He had a couple of burgers and his birthday cake and a beer here and there. However, he mostly followed Whole30 - probably to a slightly stricter plan than what I would hope to continue on when we are done... and he has felt amazing. Dan's visible weight loss has also been obvious. He has a killer metabolism and works out a lot and he's a large person so weight changes really show up for him. I thought he would be unhappy with that but he told me he was having a much easier time at the gym. His pull-ups were much easier and he wasn't feeling and knee pain when running (which is something he had been struggling with a for a while). That all came at a time when I was struggling with Whole30 (as a consequence of struggling with other things). Hearing his non-scale victories was a great motivator.

If you can, do this with a partner. I know that I'm really lucky to 1) have an amazing partner to begin with and 2) have one that didn't bat an eye when I said I was going to do this. Ok... maybe he asked if our food was going to suck and then gave me a big hug when I said I wouldn't be drinking for a month. Anyways, the point is, if you can get your family on board (even just 90% on board), you'll have a much easier time doing this and sticking with it.

What is Your Plan for Moving Forward?

The most fun I had with this challenge was dusting off my cook books and making things that I've been meaning to try since I bought them... and I barely scratched the surface. For someone that enjoys cooking, having a huge stockpile of recipes is a Godsend. We were not bored with our food once I really got going on trying new things. We didn't even really have to repeat anything. If I did, it was more out of convenience or love of a dish than boredom or lack of options.

In general, I'd say our day to day will look more like strict paleo/primal. I'd like to stick with being mostly dairy free and only have cheese on occasion, maybe a couple of times a week for the dishes that really aren't the same without it. I think a glass of wine a night is fine and maybe a little more on the weekends. I still have a lot of training I want to do though which I think will keep me from hitting the sauce too hard. I also am ok with paleo baking going forward. For me, that was the silliest of the the Whole30 rules. I definiely understand that paleo waffles still aren't the healthiest food but I think allowing those treats every now and then and doing them in a way that is controlled and less bad is better than buying some over processed crap.

I just really want to continue on this path. I want to plan out more of my meals and use new recipes. I want to drink a little less wine than I was before. I want to save cheese and chocolate for special occasions. I want cheat meals to be a rare treat, not a regular occurrence. Mostly - I want to keep feeling good. I want my clothes to keep fitting well. I want my skin to keep glowing. I want to have control over my food and my health. But also - I want to be able to treat myself when I've earned it and enjoy social settings where there is food and alcohol. I feel like I'm in such an awesome place to make the best decisions for my health and my body... and my future.

Happy and Healthy