Steady September 2017 - Update #9

Wow, I feel like I totally lost track of this month. I was looking at my browser and saw the Blogger tab and thought, "I should probably start writing the September post even though the month ends in... 2 DAYS? Wait, really? How are there only two days left??" Crazy fast month.

Anyways, this post is a little late. I've been dealing with some neck issues that have really affected all the areas of my life below and blog writing. This post is going to be a little shorter because of it but hopefully I'll bounce back this month.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

We luckily started the month with a long weekend out of town. We got to spend a lot of time eating out together (which is something we don't do much) and also got to see a lot of friends. It was awesome to spend the weekend on a relaxing note.

We've also been trying to go to the gym together more. Normally, I like to go when it's less busy but my schedule didn't allow that this week. The plus side was getting to go at the same time as Dan. I've heard that working out together is a great way to strengthen a relationship and I'm happy we get to do that.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This started out so well - coming out of Athletic August into a new month, I had great habits set up. Even when I didn't really want to work out, I knew I'd feel good afterwards so went anyways. It was great!

Around the 3rd week of the month though, I hit a wall. Between work stress and other plans, I missed the gym a few days. All in all, I think I just needed the break. I started the following week with yoga. The next day, I went climbing and was just crushing it. I felt so much more confident and was trying harder climbs. The third day, I had a super busy day at work and was so excited to sweat it out at the gym and that workout was awesome too. I left feeling like my light week was the perfect way to rest my body and come back stronger... and then I got hit with a migraine. I honestly don't think I've ever had one before because I always thought they were just a bad headache. It's so much more than that. I was left with a stiff neck for several days after which also kept me from doing any more exercise.

It's hard when you miss the gym because you're busy or stressed.... it's even harder when you want to go and physically can't. It's crazy because I workout and eat healthy so that my body is always in tip top shape and going through something like a migraine where your body really turns against you - it's a little scary. I hope it's just something that was triggered by an especially stressful day and not a regular occurrence.

Meal Planning

Since this was a busy month for me, I was more dependent on organizing our meals for the week and also using the slow cooker. People also ask how I can manage working two jobs, exercise, and cooking. Meal planning is a huge part of that.

I have two other tricks that I've mentioned before. The first is the slow cooker/ instant pot. It's so nice to be able to prep a meal and have it cook while I'm working or running errands. The second is to just do really easy meals. One of my favorites is to make something that is 100% in the oven. That way I can take a shower or take care of other things while dinner is cooking instead of tending to something on the stove.

I really love this particular habit because it's a big "do it all" habit. I don't want to sacrifice eating well in order to work on other things. Just a little bit of prep goes a long way in making that possible. 

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

I loved having the time at the beginning of the month for our long weekend. With how busy work has been this month, it's got me itching for another trip. I definitely wouldn't mind starting to think about where we can go next year. As homeowners, we have some tax benefits that will hopefully lead to a good refund. That should pad our savings enough to help us meet this goal next year!

Read a Book a Week

Right on track here! It felt like I was on a roll at the beginning of the month and then I hit a book that was a slower but interesting read. I'm trying to avoid those for now but it's still hard when I come across something that looks good.

I'm also trying to listen to more audiobooks. I'm in my car a lot more now and audiobooks are such a great way to kill that time while getting some reading done as well. I'm always a little hesitant about them because some books work better than others for it. That's where learning how to put a book down comes in handy. I started one audiobook and could not follow it from the get go so I ended up turning it off and listening to This American Life instead.

Me Time

My neck injury had one upside - a lot of me time! I spent the last day of the month in bed with Netflix. Healing from a migraine or concussion or whatever happened means a lot of rest of darkness and quiet. So I messed up on the quiet but staying in and taking it easy was a great way to help that healing.

I also seem to keep having a day a month where Dan is busy - either working or with his own plans. I know I could take that time and catch up with my friends but I've been choosing to take that time to relax and read and catch up on my own projects... and it's been so nice. It's really been the definition of what I meant by this goal and I love it. I hope I keep being able to have a day or two just to take care of me. 

Steady September

This was a really tough one for me. It was about balance and bringing everything together. The month started really well... and then it fell apart. I don't want this to be about excuses so we'll avoid those. I think sometimes doing it all requires some things to fall into place more out of luck than anything. It was already piling on but then my migraine and subsequent head and neck ache really just blew it open. The last week of the month was just totally useless for me and I hate ending on a fail. I definitely want to keep this goal in front of me because it really is THE GOAL but it didn't happen this month because of forces out of my control. 

Outgoing Octopus October

This totally sounds weird. Early last month I said to Dan, "Hey - I thought of the goal for next month!" and he said "Octopus October????" so I gave him a "really???" face and never told him what it was because he didn't ask. When it came up later in another conversation he asked what happened to Octopus October. I told him that doesn't even make sense and he explained that I could try to do 8 new things. Ok, that's not so bad, but I still liked the Outgoing October idea... so why not combine them? Do 8 new things with the goal of lowering inhibitions and fears. 

If you know me, this might seem like a weird one. I'm not super shy. I don't have a hard time talking to strangers or public speaking or anything like that. I know how to be polite and friendly. However, it just hasn't all felt like it's clicked lately.

Honestly, I've felt a little not like myself for a while. I've had a tough year and I think it's really shaken the core of who I am. I lost my mom, I had troubles with close friendships, and frankly, Dan and I still are fairly new to San Diego which can be a lonely feeling all on it's own. At the end of the day, all of that has left me feeling like a more subdued and self conscious version of myself.

Pair that with real estate, a career that requires confidence and a huge personality, and it becomes a big issue. I go to all of the real estate training that I can and I come out of them with a list of ideas and plans to build my business - and then I freeze. 

So this goal is really two fold. The first, and most obvious is to make that real estate push. It's to connect with strangers and bring up real estate more. It's to call people and do things that are a little outside my comfort zone. The worst thing that can happen is that someone says no or doesn't want to talk to you but it's still a tough one.The second goal is to keep trying to build my San Diego community. I love being surrounded by many different types of people. I think I've made a lot of good friends so far and then stopped trying to keep building that community.

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That's it for September! I'm happy to report that after a week+, my neck is finally feeling much better. I'm definitely still feeling cautious and plan on taking it easy for a few more days just to be sure but I'm really feeling antsy to get back to the gym and feeling normal.

May 2017 - Check In #5

This was a shorter month for me. You're probably thinking "Nikki, May has 31 days. That is literally the longest a month can be." True - but since we came back from Europe on the 6th and needed some days to adjust, I really feel like getting back to our habits didn't start until about the 10th. That's also when I published the April post so if it helps, April had an extra 9 days and May was short those. That puts it under February so definitely a short month with lots to do!

It's funny though, even though it was a "short month," this has been the only post I haven't been writing as things were happening. I was so busy trying to do it all, I just crashed when it was done. Low and behold, I finally looked at the date, realized it was the end of the month, and figured I should write my update.

Designated Date Time

I'm still trying to figure out a better name for this section. Williams Adventures? Marriage Work? I don't know. I just know that really it's about the two of us (and Harley!) having a good time exploring San Diego and spending time together and having a certain time each week dedicated to that.

We really didn't do this one too well, and that's going to be a running theme of this month. While I definitely still think this is an important goal, we needed a month off. So much of May was spent doing everything - being there for family, getting back to normal life after the funeral and our trip, studying for my test, and finally catching up with friends we hadn't seen in two months. That's definitely a lot to balance along with a relationship and it was stressful at times but I honestly got home the night of my test and was a whole different person with that big burden gone.

It really made me think about the whole point of this goal - to build up quality time so that it was stored away for when we needed it. These past months have been full of stressful, difficult things that are trying on any relationship. However, I felt like we had this little piggy bank of quality time stored up and even though we couldn't make as much time for hikes and things while juggling everything else, it was ok because we knew how to get that back when we had time again.

At the end of the month, we did have the time for a hike but I was so sore from trying to get back to my gym schedule (more on that later) that I just didn't want to. We did other things instead though - went to an open house, ran errands together, and worked on the house. We also spent the whole weekend together and with friends. The whole thing is just a lesson on the different shapes quality time can take. It can be making your home nicer or going with the other person to do something they love or being together but with others.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This was the toughest one of my goals. As I've said before, going to the gym is way easier when you are doing it with a friend. I climb twice a week with a friend and that was the easiest thing to add back to the schedule. I had been taking another class with Dan and some friends but none of them were able to make it this month and I decided to study instead of pushing myself. That basically was the trend - I skipped on my walks and other fitness just to buckle down and prepare for this test.

It felt good climbing for the few weeks of this month, but once my test was over, I was excited to get back to Body Pump. I knew that after two months off, I'd need to take it easy so I greatly decreased my weight. That wasn't enough though - I was so sore for days. My body taught me a lesson about taking too much time off from my fitness and I'll have to make sure to not make that mistake again.

Meal Planning

pictures of avocado toast without any avocado

I'm still not great about planning out our meals for the week and keeping my shopping list strictly there but I wasn't before so there wasn't much of a loss here. It did feel SO GREAT to be cooking in my kitchen again. After all the amazing eating in Europe, I was worried that I wouldn't want to cook again, but that was so wrong. Getting back into the kitchen really felt like coming home.

Ironically, the thing I missed the most was breakfast. While our lunches and dinners varied a lot on and off the cruise ship, breakfast was the same every day and very little of it felt like what I would eat at home (I don't really like pastries or cereal). I decided to really be better about making myself breakfasts when I got home. Really this meant a lot of avocado toast. On one of my shopping trips, I picked up a little sampler of brie and started making brie toast as well. It's probably my new favorite food.

We've also been back on our healthy eating kick. I go shopping and just try to get mostly vegetables. We've been grilling them and eating so many varieties and colors of produce. We started juicing a little bit because we heard ginger juice is really good for you. I'm still thinking about doing another eating cleanse like Whole30 again but for right now I'm enjoying just trying to eat really healthy each day.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

I don't think we'll be planing another big adventure for a little while. There's way too much to do in the meantime. I think the next big step will just be planning weekend trips to see friends and family and for weddings. Once those are all taken care of, we can re-organize and see where the money and vacation days stand and then see if we can go on another vacation before the end of the year. In the meantime though, we can look through all of our photos and remember what a great trip we had!

Also I have souvenir from our trip for you - blog posts! I took notes during most of our trip and I'm planning to convert those into posts in the near future. If you look back through the history of this blog, a lot of it was about my traveling adventures. I think it will be really fun to write about them again.

Read a Book a Week

I actually crushed this one. It was a good reminder that there are a lot of ways to read a book. I had my study guides that I finished. I listened to an audio book while on a drive to/from LA. I had kindle books and I got back into the library. I got 6 books down this month and that doesn't include the book I counted toward April. I'm halfway to my goal for the year and we're not halfway through the year. Yes, I'm a month ahead and it feels great.

As you'll read later on, May really was a great time for me to prepare and organize a lot of projects and dreams I have. Sometimes, you just read the perfect book for where you are in life. The last book I read in May, was that book for me. I read The Magnolia Story - the autobiography by the couple on Fixer Upper. I thought it would just be a cute little history of their lives but it was so much more. Obviously they are adorable and successful but they started so modestly, just tackling little projects and flips and opening side businesses with whatever they had. Sometimes I think everything I want to do is impossible but seeing someone else do it is so motivating. It came at the perfect time. Here's a link to my more official review on Goodreads if you want to hear more about it. 

Me Time

Almost done with another page!

Obviously studying doesn't allow for a lot of me time. It was great to finish my test and get back to that though. I grabbed a beer on my own at a brewery. I read some extra books. I've caught up on so much Netflix. I did more cross stitching. It felt so nice to take a week to catch up on myself in the aftermath of my test. Now that I've had a good week of relaxation, I'm excited to get to next steps of my master plan... and maybe make sure I still carve out some nice pockets of time for myself.

My Best Me May

This was purposely a really vague goal. I knew some things I wanted to check off, but mostly I just wanted to open the door to be a better version of myself. Maybe we all need to do that sometimes. I took my test last week and I passed! Being my best me also meant not just stopping with passing a test. Even though I needed a little time off, and took it, I also made sure I was taking the next steps. I'm hoping that by the next update, I'll be able to share big plans. If you've been paying attention, you probably have a good idea what I've been working on.

The rest of it was just about being a better person. To be clear, I don't think I'm a bad person, but sometimes we're all a little selfish or have some room for self improvement. So this was about doing the nice things you don't always want to do. It was about listening when you want to talk. It was about being polite instead of frustrated. It was about trying to do all of that and knowing you could still do better and giving yourself something to keep working on. I was still bad about making my bed though. 

my biggest cheerleader

On another note, I spent a good chunk of this year so far feeling really self conscious. This month was the first time I felt better about all of that. I'm realizing that doubting myself makes me into a person that doesn't feel like me. I also realized that all the stress I've been putting myself under has compounded and made the insecurities feel worse. It's been nice to let a lot of that go. This past weekend - with the test done, and my head in a better place, I felt the most like me that I have in months. I spent time with friends and didn't question everything I was doing and saying. I talked with strangers and didn't think about how to sell myself to them. I realized that maybe I've come through some difficult times and I'm in a better place. 

A lot of this had a lot to do with my mom. She was always so confident and made friends wherever she went. A lot of our "family" in LA are actually various friends she's made over the years. If there was something I admired most about her, it would have to be that. It was a trait I felt that I had as well until lately. I wanted that feeling back and I decided to just take it. I also realized that being a friendly or welcoming person doesn't mean being perfect or being walked all over. I've learned that some people don't appreciate that kind a friend and that was contributing too much to my self confidence. I know that if my mom were here, she wouldn't want me to be a doormat and that's really helped me come back into my own - that thought that there are always going to be people that make you feel terrible and that shouldn't for a second stop you from being who you are for everyone else.

Just Do It June

My planner is also a reminder of all the work to do.
Luckily, it helps me organize my crazy brain and keep on track!

When I think of "Just Do It" I obviously think of Nike and fitness and that was originally the idea here. I have two races in June - one more serious and one more fun - and I wanted to really push myself. Even though I've done a ton of races, I always feel like I could have pushed a little harder. While I'd still like to do that, that's not the main goal here anymore. For starters, I've had a whole lot of trouble getting back on my fitness routine after the time off. I also just have so many more goals that I want to make sure I just do.

As I'd said before, May was really a short month for me but I feel like I did so much. I'm at a place where it feels like so many things are beginning and have a lot of potential. May got me at that place and June is where we tackle it.

It's weird to be here at this time in my life and it goes back to a point I made last month about dealing with loss-it can break you or it can make you stronger. My mom always expected the best from me because she knew I could do it. She knew about all these plans that I have now and she always said "why are you wasting time, just do it." Maybe not in those exact words - but that idea. A lot of what I'm working on now has been in progress for over a year and it kept getting delayed because of life and stress and maybe a little laziness. She always pushed me to keep on track and not get distracted, to follow through. I think I'm doing my best me by channeling all of my energy or grief into my projects. Some are fun things too like getting a Housewarming party on the calendar - another great way to honor my mom is by following her example as the best hostess ever. All of this, everything I'm doing, is for her.

April 2017 - Check in #4

After the last one, I can't even imagine writing a post about something as silly as habits. My original plan was break up this post between the time before our trip to Europe and after it - figuring that obviously we wouldn't be following our habits while in Europe. Little did I know, a much bigger event would occur - the death of my mom would change the flow of all of my day to day habits. So, I guess this will really be broken into life before everything happening (my mom passing, the time spent with family, and of course, our trip to Europe) and after everything. Since I'd already written many of the "before" parts as I was going through them, it feels really accurate to keep the feelings I had then versus how I am now.

Family Time

Before Everything

I already knew April was going to be a bust for this one. We had our trip coming up and busy weekends up until then. The first weekend in May, we traded our family hike for a bike ride with friends. Dan had to work part of the weekend so I took Harley to the beach the other day. While we all got out of the house in some way or another, it wasn't quite the same and sometimes that's ok. If you're pushing a goal so much that you're missing out on other things, then that's not great either.

The following week we had a friend in town and had a race and brunch that took place of the hike. My friend and I ran the race while Dan and Harley cheered us on. While it wasn't the same as a family hike, we did what we could while balancing our other plans.

After Everything

The idea of family time just including Dan and Harley seems so faulty in perspective of losing my mom so I think it's good to remember what I meant by this. Obviously, all family is important and I really feel that I made an effort to see my mom quite a bit in the past year (and of course, I could have gone more too). In the time after her death, I spent about two weeks in LA with the rest of my family - my brothers and my dad and that was very important time too.

So it feels wrong to call this goal family time anymore. I'll have to think about what the right word is so for now, I'll describe what I meant.

In the time just after our wedding, I felt disconnected from a lot of my friends. The ones who were visiting went home and the ones who lived here were busy with their own lives. I had someone tell me this feeling is normal - everything is about you for so long that after the wedding you feel this missing and it's somewhat true - people want to focus on themselves and their other friends for a while. As someone who is really social, this made me feel really sad and lonely, but I was a newlywed and there was no reason to feel this way. Instead of trying to fill all my free time with my friends, why not fill it with my husband? So I decided it was important to carve out some time each week for him and to do something together to build that habit and remember that our marriage and our relationship is so important and needs to last even when friendships are faulty or kids are annoying or any of life's obstacles happen.

The real reason for this goal then, was to strengthen our foundation becuase the time after you get married, things are good, but so much can happen in life. When my mom passed away, I really needed Dan to be there. We had this huge hurdle so early in our marriage and it's effect on me causes strains on a day to day basis. That's why it's important to be strong together when things are good - you need that base to help you when you lose a loved one, when you have kids, or when any other thing that could go wrong, does.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

Before Everything

weight on, stress off

Despite being crazy busy, I still tried to stick to my workout schedule. If I had a free day or my workout partners couldn't make it, I would take a break as well and study. However, I tried to not miss if I didn't have to and believe me, I wanted to some days.

When you are stressed and tired - it's easy to want to drop your routine and just get your shit done but man, did I feel better after working out. One day, I was so close to just not going but I decided to make it a game time decision. I had a shot of coffee and made a smoothie and dressed to go to the gym... and that was enough to get me into it. I went and I had a great workout and it was just the stress relief I needed. Afterwards, I was able to go home and get back to studying with a clearer head.

It may seem counter-intuitive to do more when the thought of how much you have to do in so little time makes your head explode, but taking a break helps your brain reset and having my breaks be something good for me made it feel like it wasn't a waste.

After Everything

The news of my mom passing away was obviously a little shattering. While some people might throw their emotions into working out at a time like this, my muscles all felt like jello. I didn't want to be completely inactive though and went for a walk most days so I was doing some sort of exercise. Can I just say how much I love walking? Even thought my legs were shaky the first few days, it was such a good release. When I walk or run, it's really thinking time for me. I wanted to be sad those first few days and I would walk and I would tear up and it was really therapuedic for me.

By the next week, I was feeling better but we were now days away from our trip and I just couldn't find the time. However, while it Europe, Dan and I walked SO much. According to my watch, we walked about 100 miles in those 2 weeks. Honestly, even though we're in really good shape, my legs hurt by the end of it. If you ever need an excuse to workout - travel. I feel like traveling was so much easier since we were in shape. All the walking, all the stairs, all the hills, all the suitcase lugging - it was so much easier than it could have been. Walking instead of cabbing also saved us money AND helped us justify those extra courses during our cruise ship dinners.  I also hit the gym a couple of times during our "at sea" days but it definitely wasn't up to my usual standards and I know I'll have a lot of work to do now that we're back.

Here are the first of many steps we took to get up to the Campinile in Florence so yea, we weren't really slacking despite being on vacation!

Meal Planning

Before Everything

Meat and veggies!!!

Since Dan and I have crazy fitness goals AND we were going on a vacation that might have some swimsuit time, April felt like a good time to clean up our act. We usually eat pretty healthy but we'd also been stocking up on more ice cream and treats. We decided this would be a good time to rein it in a little and go back to cleaner, meat and vegetable focused meals.

I also saw new clean eating challenge that is being put on by the makers of my favorite fitness class. It started a few days before our trip which felt like not the right time to go on a diet but I think we might try it next month. It also provided me with some new recipes and meal ideas. While we aren't doing it quite yet, I've been trying to steer our meals in that direction and just going crazy with the amount of veggies I'm buying and cooking.

After Everything

Eating is weird when you lose someone. I didn't have an appetite most of the time so I just wouldn't eat and then eventually I would get SUPER hungry and have to eat immediately (while still not having much of an appetite) which led to lots of eating out and fast food. Obviously, if you read this, that's not normal for me. After a few days, this evened out thanks a lot to my brothers. They took charge on the meals and I would pop in to help when they gave me something to do since I wasn't feeling my usual cooking passion.

Not really a meal plan but we ate WELL

I decided to just completely let go of any restrictions while we were in Europe. We were on a cruise and walking so much and the previous weeks had been so hard - I just wanted to enjoy our trip. And I did! We ate so much and so well. We basically had a 4 course meal every night for dinner and amazing lunches while we were in the ports as well. I don't think I've had dessert so many consecutive days before ever.

In the days that we've been back we've been trying to re-adjust to our normal eating. Obviously, it's much lower calorie than we had been eating so I feel like I'm getting hungry all the time. I'm trying to balance between giving in and eating regular meals but I know easing off the sugar and richness from the cruise meals will be an adjustment.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

Before Everything

I have a really bad personality trait - I don't usually trust people to do something for me that I know I can do really well myself. Planning trips is one of those things. There's really only one person I've let take the lead on planning my vacations and she wasn't coming with us on this one (although I did copy her itinerary for a city on our trip that she'd recently been to) so it was up to either me or Dan.... and I had a test to study for. I realized I was going to need Dan's help a lot.

And he did an AMAZING job. His schedule isn't as flexible as mine so he broke up the planning and decided to do a city at a time whenever he had the free time. He did a ton of research and mixed in with some recommendations I got, we went into the last leg of our planning together and made some great lists and maps for our trip.

After Everything

Obviously we took the trip! It's really the biggest trip we've taken as a couple in terms of time gone and distance traveled and stress encountered. I'm happy to report that it did not drive us to an early divorce (although there may have been some jetlag induced squabbling). Really though - it made us think about other trips we want to take and how we want to take them. I'll address this more in another post but we had some thoughts about the best ways to travel that we realized while we were traveling.

Anyways, we both started making lists of trips we want to take and what makes sense to trip to do in the immediate future, what we think we could do with little kids, and what might have to be shelved for a while. I like the idea of having a list of several things we really want to do and here's why: travel costs are so finnicky. One day there might be a deal to India and the next to South America. I think being flexibile and locations and timing could help us go some cool places on a discount. We had a really cool trip to Europe but we wanted to go specific places in a specific timeframe and we paid for it. Our next priority is more "see as much as you can" and we can be more flexible which will allow us to do more.

Read a Book a Week

This one doesn't really make sense to break into before and after... The good news is that this was a mission accomplished. Technically, I only read 4 books but I finished the 5th just after the beginning of May and on vacation, time doesn't really count.

Honestly though, I thought I'd do better here. I had a lot of trouble concentrating on reading just after my mom passed away but the library helped out there. I had a couple of books that had to go back by a certain time and since I was in San Diego so little of the month, I really had to get it done. While on vacation, I didn't finish as many books as I felt like I was reading. I finished two books and am partly through three others (two for one, and one study guide that I abandoned through everything) so maybe that's it also. I'm definitely going to finish my fun books before I dive back into studying though so hopefully I'll have at least 3 books to add for May but really I better do more than that.

And I bet you're wondering why I'm still studying. Wasn't my test planned for last month? Well, yea, it was. It was scheduled for the day after we ended up having my mom's service. That's just about the worst time to take a test. The good news is that it wasn't a firm "once a year" type of exam and I was easily able to push it back a month. I haven't picked up that study guide in the last month since my mom passed away but now that I'm easing off of the jet lag, it's definitely time. It basically gives me a week to get back in the study mind set and then the same week of crunch time that I would have had. I'm definitely having trouble getting back into it and part of me feels like I should push it back some more. Luckily, I always have that option but I really feel like I need to just do this thing.

Me Time

Before Everything

Studying for an exam and planning a huge vacation meant zero me time. It actually meant negative me time. What does that mean? It means I realized there weren't enough hours in the day and decided to make more... by sleeping less. I started setting my alarm an hour earlier, staying up later, and drinking more coffee. I liked to pride myself on getting a full night's sleep, but something has to give when you're trying to do it all.

Actual Picture of me in April

After Everything

I think a cruise is entirely composed of me time. In hindsight, I kind of wish I brought my study guide or some video games or something. There is so much downtime on a cruise, especially without a beverage package. It felt really weird to just relax, but I think I really needed it. I was definitely burning the candle at every end in early April and then that just exploded when my mom died. The little focus I had after that went to planning her service and the rest of my time I just wanted to sleep. The vacation really came at the perfect time to just not have anything I needed to do.

Being back at work and just out of the jetlag, I'm noticing the benefits of taking some time off. In the weeks before I left, issues at work were feeling hazy and I was having trouble wrapping my head around things. Now that I'm back, I'm feeling more creative and ambitious in the way I tackle issues at work. It feels like some time off was exactly what my brain needed.

Unplugged April

Before Everything

I feel like I had been working on a good compromise here. All the time I spent studying really took me away from social media as much as I'd been checking it before. I probably could have separated more though but early in the month was supposed to just be gradually working up to not having cell service on my trip.

After Everything

If I was addicted to my phone before, it really got worse after my mom passed. I did receive a lot of phone calls, texts, and messages which definitely was part of it, but really I just hid in internet world for a while. I found it hard to concentrate on anything serious like reading or studying so the fluffy distracting world of the internet was perfect. I was extra glued to my phone and I needed that escape.

So the trip really was needed even more. I definitely wasn't going to spend the small fortune it would cost to stay connected full time but we did have to ease into it. Almost every cafe in most of Europe has free wifi so our first stop would usually be an espresso and some internet time. It was nice to have to limit our internet to short bursts throughout the day. It also meant I was really just reading texts, messages, and quickly going through emails. Dan and I also found that Facebook and Instagram would download a little bit of the feeds so we could check them when we were bored later on the boat and our likes would send back when we were connected again. It would only do like the top 10 posts but it was nice to kind of save a little bit of it for later.

I don't really feel like I learned anything here though. Once we got internet again, I was as connected as ever. I still feel like I need a lot of distractions and it's still my safe escape. I definitely need to build better habits to disconnect more.

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My Best Me May

This goal had been my plan from the beginning but I think it's more fitting than ever. I think that when you experience a loss, once place to go is to get angry or let yourself fall into bad habits. Luckily, I've never dealt with loss that way. I don't know what happens after we die, and I've always felt the possibility of our loved ones "watching over us." Maybe they are, maybe they aren't, but, just in case, I'd like them to look down and be proud.

This goal was originally meant as more of a way to get back on track after the vacation but it also is fitting that I don't want to lose sight of my goals and the things my mom encouraged me to do. She lived her life SO HARD and I want to keep doing the same. So this goal is really a lot of little goals - passing my test and working on my next projects, training for my races, keeping up with all of my habits, and of course, making my bed each morning (in case Mom is watching).

It might feel that with all my other goals, this one is hard to wrap my head around and I feel that too. Sometimes I feel like it made more sense when my other goals were still on track, but maybe when we get a little off course, we need to remember the goal more than ever. It almost has a "Happiness Project" feel to it - remembering all your past goals as you keep making new ones.

May is also the month I turned 31. Last year, I wrote the post about the 30 things I learned before turning 30 and after this year, I feel like I could write another 30 things I learned in the past year. This is about remembering those lessons and continuing to grow and that's really the goal for May.

February 2017 - Habit Check In #2

I'm really loving how this structure for my goals has given me more to write about! I've been trying to throw out some other posts in between as well but obviously that has to work around time and well, having something to write about. I have a few adventures next month that should give some more blog fodder and I also want to review more of the kitchen and wine gadgets that I use every day.

Anyways, here's how February went!

Family Time

This has easily become the highlight of my week. We've started really planning our weekends around when we can get our family walk in and this month, it wasn't easy. Each of the weeks, we had some big conflict trying to keep us from our walk but we made it anyways.

Week 1, we were out of town for my work. I have to work Superbowl every year and we usually make it into a little weekend getaway to LA. We usually walk on Saturdays but had gone to Universal Studios instead. While the quantity of walking would probably count it, the spirit wasn't there. Instead, we planned to go Sunday morning before work. It ended up being really hectic between eat breakfast, packing, and making sure I got to work on time - but we did it. It was a short mile-ish loop around the parcourse near my parent's house but it was something.

Weeks 2-3 we were dealing with busy weekends and bad weather. We had a hardcore workout one week and race the next and both weekends it was supposed to be rainy on the day we could do our hike. Hiking isn't quite as fun if it's super muddy, especially with a dog, so we timed our walks to breaks in the weather and just found paved trails - usually waterfront. While not a true hike, it gave us some awesome views and helped us find some new paths.

Week 4 should have just been a disaster. We went back and forth on where to go - the weather was finally nice enough for a real hike, but we had plans that we'd be late for if we did something too intensive. We'd been loving the water so we decided to do Torrey Pines - but when we parked we saw lots of "no dogs" signs. I didn't want to drive around looking for something else since we'd already lost so much time so we decided just to take the dog to a nearby dog beach. We had so much fun playing and splashing around and got the bonus of finding a new fun beach. We'll have to circle back to Torrey Pines another day but it always sucks to leave the dog at home when we go on an adventure.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

I don't really have much to say on this one. I've definitely been working out a lot and mostly sticking to the schedule I set myself but I'm not perfect and I missed a lot of days as well. For some reason, every Monday this month, something came up to keep my climbing partners and myself out of the gym. I also missed a lot of Body Pump classes either because I had another workout or just something fun came up... like free beer tasting. All these things totally happen but for March I'd like to pull it in and try to really hit my weekly schedule.

On the plus side - while I've missed a bunch of gym time, I've been walking a whole lot more with the dog. Usually, they're just little short walks around the block but they've been a nice way for both of us to get a little sunshine and exercise. We've also tried to do work around the garden whenever it's been sunny out and it's nice putting those muscles to some functional use.

The 2017 kilometer challenge is going well too! Extra walks mean extra chipping away at it, even if they're on the short side. At the end of last month, I had 64km and this month I had 119. That means I'm being consistent (giving myself a break on the 3 shorter days this month) which is great for me and great for the dog. Also, last year, I had 244 km for the whole year. That means that in 2 months, I've gone half as far as I did.. IN A YEAR. It's crazy and I'm so proud at how we've made something as simple as going on more walks, runs, and hikes into such a regular habit.

Meal Planning

This one continues to challenge me. I did add a section for planning out dinners in my daily planner but I'm still not being consistent. To help get on track though, I did a few stocking up dinners. What are those? That's when I cook something really big that I know will last a few nights and then we just have to find sides to go with them (usually making tacos). Examples are pulled pork, brisket, and chili. The added benefit is that they're made in the slow cooker or pressure cooker so I can prep them and let them cook while doing other things!

Brisket!!!!!

Slow cooked pork!!!!

Take an Annual Trip with my Husband

Not much progress here which is bad because our trip is coming up really fast. What I really need to do is get our taxes together so we can see if we have a bigger budget for excursions and things.... Obviously next month there needs to be a lot of work here, but I did try to get an idea of the budget and things.

Read a Book a Week

In January, I read way over the book/week goal which was awesome. For February, I was right on track, and that was ok too. I knew that some months would be harder to meet the goal and February was one of those - but I met it anyways! Just barely!

In addition to being pressed for time, I also read a couple of longer books - like over 500 pages. All four of my books this month were really fast reads that I hated putting down and that was probably the real driver behind finishing this month.

All in all, I read 4 books in 4 weeks coming in exactly at my goal.

Edit: these screenshots come from Goodreads. A book social media site I use to track my reading. I also usually write reviews of all the books I read in case you're interesting in the reasons behind my scores.

Me Time

This month I learned that me time can come in a lot of shapes and sizes. Sometimes it's just listening to my body or my needs. Earlier in the month, Dan and I went to a free bootcamp workout and it kicked our butts. The next day, I was so sore and instead of pushing myself, I just took a day off. I cancelled my gym plans, I made a really simple dinner, and then I just soaked in the tub for an hour. It felt so good, and the next day I felt better... but the next day was Valentine's Day and I had another dilemma. I could go to the gym, but then I'd be home late and be rushing to make dinner and get things done and wouldn't be able to just enjoy the night and spend time with Dan so I decided to take another day off from the gym. I love working out and I'm so happy with what's happening with my fitness but I think finding the balance and knowing when to take some time off so that I don't overdo it or stress myself out is important too.

I'm also learning that I don't want me time to be lazy time. I could totally veg out in front of the TV all day but I'm trying to make my free time work for me. Lately I've been doing a lot of gardening when I have down time or making more time to make sure I eat solid meals while I work from home. While I'm still moving - I feel a lot better in general when I'm being productive.

Fabulous February

but hey - this outfit was pretty cute
so not a total fail?

This was basically a fail. I mean, it's not like I dress terrible or anything. The few times I did go out, I styled my hair and picked a cute outfit. I just think that, in general, my style is fitness chic and I'm totally ok with that. I like dressing up when I get the chance but I'm still going to be rocking yoga pants and tank tops most of the time. I don't need to force cuteness or dress up to run errands - that's just not my thing.

This probably ended up being more of a "Feel Good February." I think I've come a long way from some of the things that caused me to be more self-conscious. All of the habits above are leading me to feel great, have more energy, and most importantly, have a sound mind. I've tried to treat myself better day to day including little things like eating a good breakfast each morning and trying to get some sunshine each day. Working out more has also coincided with drinking a lot less and getting better sleep. All of the habits together are having the effect of making me feel really good and that's awesome.

My monthly goal for next month was going to be Mo' Money March - in attempt to save more money. However, we're going to need to do a lot of spending in related to the last bit of planning for our trip so I think I might take this the other direction and work on ways to make mo' money. I still have an Etsy shop and despite awesome sales in January, February was really slow. I want to find ways to connect with potential buyers more and try to naturally grow interest in my shop.

I also will be wrapping up my class which means I have some open time to study for a certification that will open up some moonlighting possibilities for me. I should also try spending less money but I like the idea of focusing on ways I can make more money as well... it seems more sustainable long term.

Week of July 25th 2011: The Smithsonian Museums and the National Portrait Gallery

I was originally going to do a post for every museum I visited, but I think it may get a little tiring if there are 30 posts from this trip. I'm going to do a lot of condensing so even though I could write a book on the Smithsonian museums, I'm going to try to limit it to a blog post... you may need to read this one in a few goes. I am also including the National Portrait Gallery.
(I also apologize for the poor picture quality - this is the camera that fell down some rocks and went swimming when I was in Los Angeles and it never quite recovered)

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My first stop on the Smithsonian tour was the American History museum. I knew next to nothing about the museum and wasn't really looking forward to it but it was the closest to where I was and I was dying to get out of the heat. Well, to say the museum surpassed my expectations would be an understatement.

I may be biased though... I decided to explore the museum in order and of course the first exhibit I wandered into explored Los Angeles in the early 90's. For those not aware, this was basically my childhood. It was fun to see an exhibit that explored the place I lived as a kid especially when there was one board specifically on the San Fernando Valley.

The American history museum is also where you can find a lot of really cool American relics. In one extremely dark and chilled room, the original Star Spangled banner can be seen. It's basically in shreds after all of these years so the museum is doing it's best to preserve it (and of course that means no photography so you will have to go check it out for yourself).

After that, I decided to check out the Hall of First Ladies. I think many people may be familiar with this exhibit, but as I had said, I knew next to nothing about this museum before visiting it. The first hallway that I walked down had beautiful sketches of many historical First Lady Inauguration dresses. I was so excited, I decided to start snapping photos of all of them, especially those before I was born. I thought it was so cool that I could see what they all looked like.... until I went into the next room and they were all on the display. The actual dresses. I'm not very big into fashion, but that was cool. Of course the more recent dresses were in the center of the room, including Michelle's dress from 2008. I really enjoy seeing things in person that I had seen on TV. There is something fascinating about being able to get a close up on those little details that just don't get caught on the camera.

The last exhibit that really caught my eye was the one on Film and Television. This is where you can find some more fun artifacts from our country's great entertainment industry such as Dorothy's ruby red slippers and some of the original Muppets. My favorite piece though of course was the 70's Batman TV show Catwoman costume. I found it very entertaining that a few weeks earlier I was able to see the Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman suit when I was at the Tim Burton exhibit. This means I only have one more Catwoman suit to track down and that movie isn't even out yet. 


The best part of the whole museum though was seeing a picture of one of my friends in the robotic section. It turns out, his contributions to that field earned him and his team a spot in the Smithsonian which was really cool to see. I was so proud of him and also felt like I knew a celebrity. When anyone else walked by, I wanted to brag that I knew that guy. 

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Extra in Independence Day

After the American History Museum, I went next door to the Natural History Museum. Typically, I don't get excited about natural history museums because to me, they are just a collection of stuffed animals. However, after being thoroughly impressed with the American History Museum, I decided to give it a shot. 

 There definitely were a lot of collections of stuffed animals, but it was way more than that. The facts and displays they had were really interesting. I think I'd just gotten turned off from them because I had seen a really boring exhibit on mammals a year earlier. The ocean exhibits were particularly cool since they had a fun exhibit of Giant Squid - which I've decided are the inspiration for quite a few movies about aliens. It was also cool to see the Paleontology exhibits. I hadn't really been to a museum with nearly that many fossils (even though these were just copies, of course). 


But I'm sure it's easy to guess what I liked the best.... the Hope Diamond! I also wasn't expecting to see this on my museum excursion, but I really should have known it was there since it was a big plot point on one of my favorite South Park episodes. The Hope Diamond and all of the other jewels are extremely beautiful. I really enjoy seeing diamonds of different colors. It's also fun to see something different. 

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Maybe he'll catch the road runner?

The next day, Mike had to work in the morning so I was on my own again. After visiting the National Archives (which we'll get to later), I decided to visit the National Portrait Gallery and its Sculpture Gardens. I thought on a lovely July day, a midday walk through the sculpture garden would be nice - well, I really overestimated my ability to handle heat. 8 years in the Bay Area has left me really incapable of handling seasons. Plus, even though I grew up in Los Angeles, the dry heat was much more bearable than the stifling humidity of the East Coast. I quickly took my walk through the garden and ended up spending a long time sitting with my feet in the fountain. 


As you can imagine, I was eager to get into the air conditioned Portrait Gallery. The portrait gallery is really large and broken up into two museums. The first wing has more classical art. Since I had several hours to kill and didn't feel the need to go outside again, I was able to explore both thoroughly. I think a lot of the classical pieces are similar to a lot of posts I've written about before so I'm going to brush over that pretty quickly. The only thing that really stood out to me was that once again, this museum had a Degas Ballerina. Since I had just seen another in New York the week before, I finally came to the conclusion that there were several of them. I also went in search of the Dutch wing to see if they had the Girl with the Pearl Earring. Still no luck so I finally broke down and looked it up. It's in the Hague of course but I'm excited to report that it's coming to SF in a few months and I can't wait to see it in person.

The second part of the museum has more modern and contemporary art. The two wings are connected by a space like tunnel that really reminds me of Space Mountain at Disneyland. When I got to the other side, there was a great contemporary art exhibit. The floor space for it was very open with a split level so when you walk up to it, the first thing you see is a display made up of dozens of hands saying things in sign language. I wish I had been able to translate!

Across from that was another cool piece of art - a giant black and white portrait of an older lady. It didn't seem that crazy... until I looked closely and saw that it was made up of thumbprints! I love how contemporary art has different angles like that. Something can seem so normal until you get up close and see that it's far more complicated.

The wing had several other standout pieces but then you always have the "I could have done that" stuff. For me, it was a wall that looked like it had been scribbled on with crayon. I actually used to that as a kid and got into a ton of trouble for it. Turns out I could have been an artistic genius who was suppressed before her full potential was reached.

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The last museum I went to visit was the Air and Space Museum. Even though this was one of the ones I was looking the most forward to, I was pretty beat by the time I'd gotten here. Two straight days of looking at Museums, Memorials, Archives, and the Political System (you have many fun posts to look forward to) had me a little museum'd out.


This time I wasn't alone though. My friends Nate and Mike joined me. Mike had been working all day so we literally left him to take a nap while we explored. The biggest thing I remember was that we spent a lot of time in the Wright Brothers exhibit. I was really interested in just how these guys finally pulled off the mechanics of flight. Nate was similarly interested so we both were really engrossed in all of the mechanisms they had in the room. 


I wish I'd been able to explore the museum more but at least there was one more highlight that is really neat. Along the sidewalk, they have all of the planets in our solar system, proportionally spaced from each other. In front of the museum, there is Pluto (I know, I know, but the Smithsonian website also says nine planets so I feel comfortable with this) and the rest of the planets, some comets and the sun are placed at one ten billionth of their actual scale. It was a cool thing to see and something to keep us entertained on our walk back to the Metro station.

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The Smithsonian museums are amazing. I could have spent weeks in there and I hope some day I get to go back and see more of the exhibits in detail, as well as the museums I missed. I'm really jealous of my D.C. friends who get to see these fantastic learning centers on a regular basis. 

Week of July 25th 2011: Welcome to Washington D.C. and the Corcoran Gallery of Art

The day after the Broadway show, I went to work for a little bit and then I was off on a bus to D.C. (Tangent - if you want to city hop, I recommend the bus system. My bus ticket was about $25 and I got two seats to myself because it wasn't full. It only takes a little longer than the train which was much more expensive.) 

In D.C., I would be staying with my friend Mike who works for congress. Since Mike would be working the first day I was there, I had a chance to explore on my own. If you haven't caught on yet, exploring on my own is one of my favorite things. Company is nice but so is being able to take in as much or as little as you like.

I took the Metro to the National Mall and figured I would just walk from there. I was really excited to check out the museums because they're all free. I thought I would walk around about since it was earlier in the day and the sun wasn't at full force yet. I went on a nice stroll past the White House and the National Christmas Tree before coming to the Corcoran Gallery of Art. I was a little taken aback when I was charged admission... yup, plenty of free, public museums and I stroll into one of the few private ones. I was a little embarrassed by the mistake so I paid the admission and went in.

The Corcoran Museum focuses on American Art but while I was there, many of the exhibits featured contemporary works. If you remember from my LACMA post, contemporary art was really growing on my radar so it was a fun museum to explore. As with any of the more modern types, there was some "How is this art? I made this in 3rd grade?" mixed in with some really cool plays on pop culture. I think you can imagine which was my preference.

One of my favorites though, was an exhibit that had a bunch of little glowing squares of different colors. It seemed cool but I couldn't figure it out so I read the sign and was excited when it said that this was an interactive exhibit. Guests could move around the little squares and if you touch them, they change color. I knew I had to leave my mark somehow and it didn't take me long to figure out exactly what I wanted to create. My contribution to the museum only lasted until the first group of kids appeared but at least I immortalized it in film.

Like many of the museum posts you'll see, I'm not going to go through gallery by gallery but I'll scatter some pretty pictures through the post. However, there was one more exhibit that stands out in my head. The featured exhibit was another modern artist who creates giant pieces while working outside. This one piece he did in a park and let birds walk all over it as part of the work. It was cool to see how it changed with little bird prints in it.

I guess that's the thing about modern art... maybe it wasn't the most skilled piece I've ever seen but there is a "I've never thought about that" quality to it as well. A few months earlier, I would have been pretty annoyed about being in a museum with primarily modern and contemporary pieces but a lot of it is really growing on me. That's a huge take away from this blog... maybe you assume you don't like something but you really just need to try it. There is still a lot of modern art that I really think is stupid but there are just as many that are so talented or creative. I'm glad I've had to chance to discover this side of it as well.