May 2017 - Check In #5

This was a shorter month for me. You're probably thinking "Nikki, May has 31 days. That is literally the longest a month can be." True - but since we came back from Europe on the 6th and needed some days to adjust, I really feel like getting back to our habits didn't start until about the 10th. That's also when I published the April post so if it helps, April had an extra 9 days and May was short those. That puts it under February so definitely a short month with lots to do!

It's funny though, even though it was a "short month," this has been the only post I haven't been writing as things were happening. I was so busy trying to do it all, I just crashed when it was done. Low and behold, I finally looked at the date, realized it was the end of the month, and figured I should write my update.

Designated Date Time

I'm still trying to figure out a better name for this section. Williams Adventures? Marriage Work? I don't know. I just know that really it's about the two of us (and Harley!) having a good time exploring San Diego and spending time together and having a certain time each week dedicated to that.

We really didn't do this one too well, and that's going to be a running theme of this month. While I definitely still think this is an important goal, we needed a month off. So much of May was spent doing everything - being there for family, getting back to normal life after the funeral and our trip, studying for my test, and finally catching up with friends we hadn't seen in two months. That's definitely a lot to balance along with a relationship and it was stressful at times but I honestly got home the night of my test and was a whole different person with that big burden gone.

It really made me think about the whole point of this goal - to build up quality time so that it was stored away for when we needed it. These past months have been full of stressful, difficult things that are trying on any relationship. However, I felt like we had this little piggy bank of quality time stored up and even though we couldn't make as much time for hikes and things while juggling everything else, it was ok because we knew how to get that back when we had time again.

At the end of the month, we did have the time for a hike but I was so sore from trying to get back to my gym schedule (more on that later) that I just didn't want to. We did other things instead though - went to an open house, ran errands together, and worked on the house. We also spent the whole weekend together and with friends. The whole thing is just a lesson on the different shapes quality time can take. It can be making your home nicer or going with the other person to do something they love or being together but with others.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This was the toughest one of my goals. As I've said before, going to the gym is way easier when you are doing it with a friend. I climb twice a week with a friend and that was the easiest thing to add back to the schedule. I had been taking another class with Dan and some friends but none of them were able to make it this month and I decided to study instead of pushing myself. That basically was the trend - I skipped on my walks and other fitness just to buckle down and prepare for this test.

It felt good climbing for the few weeks of this month, but once my test was over, I was excited to get back to Body Pump. I knew that after two months off, I'd need to take it easy so I greatly decreased my weight. That wasn't enough though - I was so sore for days. My body taught me a lesson about taking too much time off from my fitness and I'll have to make sure to not make that mistake again.

Meal Planning

pictures of avocado toast without any avocado

I'm still not great about planning out our meals for the week and keeping my shopping list strictly there but I wasn't before so there wasn't much of a loss here. It did feel SO GREAT to be cooking in my kitchen again. After all the amazing eating in Europe, I was worried that I wouldn't want to cook again, but that was so wrong. Getting back into the kitchen really felt like coming home.

Ironically, the thing I missed the most was breakfast. While our lunches and dinners varied a lot on and off the cruise ship, breakfast was the same every day and very little of it felt like what I would eat at home (I don't really like pastries or cereal). I decided to really be better about making myself breakfasts when I got home. Really this meant a lot of avocado toast. On one of my shopping trips, I picked up a little sampler of brie and started making brie toast as well. It's probably my new favorite food.

We've also been back on our healthy eating kick. I go shopping and just try to get mostly vegetables. We've been grilling them and eating so many varieties and colors of produce. We started juicing a little bit because we heard ginger juice is really good for you. I'm still thinking about doing another eating cleanse like Whole30 again but for right now I'm enjoying just trying to eat really healthy each day.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

I don't think we'll be planing another big adventure for a little while. There's way too much to do in the meantime. I think the next big step will just be planning weekend trips to see friends and family and for weddings. Once those are all taken care of, we can re-organize and see where the money and vacation days stand and then see if we can go on another vacation before the end of the year. In the meantime though, we can look through all of our photos and remember what a great trip we had!

Also I have souvenir from our trip for you - blog posts! I took notes during most of our trip and I'm planning to convert those into posts in the near future. If you look back through the history of this blog, a lot of it was about my traveling adventures. I think it will be really fun to write about them again.

Read a Book a Week

I actually crushed this one. It was a good reminder that there are a lot of ways to read a book. I had my study guides that I finished. I listened to an audio book while on a drive to/from LA. I had kindle books and I got back into the library. I got 6 books down this month and that doesn't include the book I counted toward April. I'm halfway to my goal for the year and we're not halfway through the year. Yes, I'm a month ahead and it feels great.

As you'll read later on, May really was a great time for me to prepare and organize a lot of projects and dreams I have. Sometimes, you just read the perfect book for where you are in life. The last book I read in May, was that book for me. I read The Magnolia Story - the autobiography by the couple on Fixer Upper. I thought it would just be a cute little history of their lives but it was so much more. Obviously they are adorable and successful but they started so modestly, just tackling little projects and flips and opening side businesses with whatever they had. Sometimes I think everything I want to do is impossible but seeing someone else do it is so motivating. It came at the perfect time. Here's a link to my more official review on Goodreads if you want to hear more about it. 

Me Time

Almost done with another page!

Obviously studying doesn't allow for a lot of me time. It was great to finish my test and get back to that though. I grabbed a beer on my own at a brewery. I read some extra books. I've caught up on so much Netflix. I did more cross stitching. It felt so nice to take a week to catch up on myself in the aftermath of my test. Now that I've had a good week of relaxation, I'm excited to get to next steps of my master plan... and maybe make sure I still carve out some nice pockets of time for myself.

My Best Me May

This was purposely a really vague goal. I knew some things I wanted to check off, but mostly I just wanted to open the door to be a better version of myself. Maybe we all need to do that sometimes. I took my test last week and I passed! Being my best me also meant not just stopping with passing a test. Even though I needed a little time off, and took it, I also made sure I was taking the next steps. I'm hoping that by the next update, I'll be able to share big plans. If you've been paying attention, you probably have a good idea what I've been working on.

The rest of it was just about being a better person. To be clear, I don't think I'm a bad person, but sometimes we're all a little selfish or have some room for self improvement. So this was about doing the nice things you don't always want to do. It was about listening when you want to talk. It was about being polite instead of frustrated. It was about trying to do all of that and knowing you could still do better and giving yourself something to keep working on. I was still bad about making my bed though. 

my biggest cheerleader

On another note, I spent a good chunk of this year so far feeling really self conscious. This month was the first time I felt better about all of that. I'm realizing that doubting myself makes me into a person that doesn't feel like me. I also realized that all the stress I've been putting myself under has compounded and made the insecurities feel worse. It's been nice to let a lot of that go. This past weekend - with the test done, and my head in a better place, I felt the most like me that I have in months. I spent time with friends and didn't question everything I was doing and saying. I talked with strangers and didn't think about how to sell myself to them. I realized that maybe I've come through some difficult times and I'm in a better place. 

A lot of this had a lot to do with my mom. She was always so confident and made friends wherever she went. A lot of our "family" in LA are actually various friends she's made over the years. If there was something I admired most about her, it would have to be that. It was a trait I felt that I had as well until lately. I wanted that feeling back and I decided to just take it. I also realized that being a friendly or welcoming person doesn't mean being perfect or being walked all over. I've learned that some people don't appreciate that kind a friend and that was contributing too much to my self confidence. I know that if my mom were here, she wouldn't want me to be a doormat and that's really helped me come back into my own - that thought that there are always going to be people that make you feel terrible and that shouldn't for a second stop you from being who you are for everyone else.

Just Do It June

My planner is also a reminder of all the work to do.
Luckily, it helps me organize my crazy brain and keep on track!

When I think of "Just Do It" I obviously think of Nike and fitness and that was originally the idea here. I have two races in June - one more serious and one more fun - and I wanted to really push myself. Even though I've done a ton of races, I always feel like I could have pushed a little harder. While I'd still like to do that, that's not the main goal here anymore. For starters, I've had a whole lot of trouble getting back on my fitness routine after the time off. I also just have so many more goals that I want to make sure I just do.

As I'd said before, May was really a short month for me but I feel like I did so much. I'm at a place where it feels like so many things are beginning and have a lot of potential. May got me at that place and June is where we tackle it.

It's weird to be here at this time in my life and it goes back to a point I made last month about dealing with loss-it can break you or it can make you stronger. My mom always expected the best from me because she knew I could do it. She knew about all these plans that I have now and she always said "why are you wasting time, just do it." Maybe not in those exact words - but that idea. A lot of what I'm working on now has been in progress for over a year and it kept getting delayed because of life and stress and maybe a little laziness. She always pushed me to keep on track and not get distracted, to follow through. I think I'm doing my best me by channeling all of my energy or grief into my projects. Some are fun things too like getting a Housewarming party on the calendar - another great way to honor my mom is by following her example as the best hostess ever. All of this, everything I'm doing, is for her.

Week of January 10th 2011: Bikram Yoga

Have you ever done something that someone explicitly did not recommend? Because I do all the time...

Honestly though, I'd heard mixed things about Bikram. Some people swear by it and say that although the heat is intense, you feel really cleansed and amazing after you've gone a few times. Others have said how awful it was. I typically don't mind hot temperatures though and I've been to enough yoga classes that I'm fairly comfortable with it so when I saw a Living Social deal for 10 weeks of Bikram yoga, I thought it would be a really cool idea to try it.

So, one fateful Sunday morning, Try and I grabbed our yoga mats and towels and headed out to Global Yoga in the Marina for our first Bikram class.

I should have gotten a hint when the instructor told me my hand towel wouldn't be enough and handed me a full size one so I wouldn't "soak through my mat."

We walked into the room and were immediately taken aback by the intense heat. This room was a little warmer than I expected it to be... So, the two of us headed towards the window to try to get some more air. It didn't help that much and we had to take a number of breaks because the heat made us so dizzy.

The actual yoga poses aren't too bad but of course some of the harder ones take place in the middle of the class so the heat is just unbearable. After the class, we downed as many bottles of water as we could find and then passed out for a couple of hours.

We decided to give the class a couple more chances to see if we felt better but it was more of the same. I know some people swear by the health benefits of Bikram, but I'm used to feeling good after working out, not wanting to spend my day in a dehydrated coma.

I definitely think that people should try it and decide for themselves, but I'd rather do a workout that makes me feel good afterward, not like I'm punishing myself.

Week of December 27th 2010: Bridges Rock Gym

So the end of a very busy week brought me to Bridge’s Rock Gym in El Cerrito for my friend Matt’s birthday. Matt, as you may have guessed, is a friend through climbing so it shouldn’t be shocking that he wanted to try a new location for his birthday.

Bridges is primarily a bouldering gym so most of the routes are only about 10-12 feet high and rope free. Although I’m not the biggest fan of bouldering, it was still fun to be there and be forced into doing it. The whole gym had a much softer floor than the one I usually go to which made falling much more comfortable.

The best part of the gym though was that all the routes “topped out.” That’s when you can climb onto the top of the route. Typically, you can walk around to place with an easy down climb or steps or something. It makes it easier to stay out of people’s way and get off of the route when you finish. 

Another feature of the gym was a slacklining area. This is kind of like tight rope walking and is really difficult. Eddy and I had a fun time trying (and failing) to walk across the different lines that were set up.

Overall, the gym was really fun, but even if it’s closer it’s not a place that I would become a member of. I love rope climbing too much to go to a dedicated bouldering gym.

I love the fact that my rock climbing family is growing. Last weekend I went to the gym and just about all of my rock climbing friends (along with half of San Francisco) were there. I also love that every couple of months, I find a way to write a post about climbing…

Week of November 22nd 2010: Ice Skating in Union Square

I don't know what it is about ice skating that I enjoy so much. Even though I grew up in the burbs of Los Angeles, it's just always been nostalgic for me. Maybe it's because I learned how to rollerblade before I could ride a bike without training wheels. Maybe it's because hockey was watched more avidly in my house than football. I don't know exactly but I've always loved being on the ice. So, when my friend Tim and I were thinking of things to do the Sunday after Thanksgiving and he suggested that - I knew we had a winner.

On of the things I really love about this city is that every Holiday season, they build a few ice rinks around the city - one in Union Square and one in the Financial District. I know this isn't unique to SF (heck, LA even had a pop up ice rink in Pershing Square and it hardly gets cold enough there to keep your ice cream from melting on Groundhog's Day), but they always felt so much accessible here.

So, Tim and I met up for our ice skating adventure. We bought our tickets, grabbed some coffee and waited in line to rent our skates. Eventually we got out onto the ice and as much as I love skating, I dislike crowds more. It was pretty tough to skate with the ice traffic jam that we encountered instantly. We still managed to have some fun, but I know we both would have loved it more if we weren't constantly worried about bumping into people.

Despite the fact that we hard trouble skating as much as we would have liked, it was still nice to see Tim and talk with him again. It was interesting to think that we had met up in the beginning of my new thing a week adventure and here we were touching base again. Yes, I know you should see good friends frequently but the ironic thing was that I'd also come full circle and was once again dealing with the same uncertainties that I had been a few months earlier. He may not know it, but his advice along with a few others really helped me figure things out a little bit.

I'm the kind of person that is fairly open with what I am dealing with - maybe too much and I've started to realize something about advice - when it comes to it, there are three kinds of people: there are people who may listen to you but won't really guide you. They won't give you advice - right or wrong. There are others who will try to tell you what to do or how you should be. And then there are the people who will just ask you questions. They won't tell you what to do directly but they'll ask you the questions that will help you get to your answer. That week I had a number of people who asked me the right questions at a time when the only answers that would help me were the ones I figured out myself. Tim was one of those people.

As for the ice skating - I was able to go again a couple of weeks later when it wasn't so crowded and I got to race across the slick, slippery surface and love ice skating as much as I usually do. I'd like to get out there again before the rinks go away so if anyone is interested let me know! I can give tips but I'm not sure how helpful they will be.

Week of October 18th 2010: Compete in a Bouldering Competition

Before you think I am some supremo climber - I want to preface that this competition was very casual. My gym likes to host series of rock climbing competitions (If you missed the post where I discussed different types of climbing, you should review that). I competed in a top roping series earlier in the year, but since I don't like to boulder (and personally don't find myself to be very good at it), I hadn't partaken in the last bouldering series.

I decided that I felt a little more comfortable with my climbing now and would like to at least check it out. The beauty of the set-up of the competition is that you are really competing against yourself (and maybe the friend you came with). You can climb as many routes as you want and you can take the top 5 scores from the night to make your final score. They divide you into 3 groups of difficulties by climbing levels. Beginner is v0-v1, intermediate is v2-v4, and expert is v5+. I had thought beginner was v0-v2 (which is the level for men) and since I had only done a couple v2's, it seemed like the obvious choice.

In terms of my climbing, I think I did a good job. I was able to complete a few v2's, a lot of v1's and even one v3. It's always fun to challenge yourself and see that you can complete something above your normal level. For me, this is even more true with bouldering. I won't lie, I'm terrified of falling and hurting since there is no rope safety net. Maybe a few more bouldering competitions and I can overcome that fear... safely.

The night wasn't just climbs and scores though. One of the highlights of the competition is the free pizza and beer, especially if it's from pyramid. Let's just say, I somehow managed to be a regular at the mini bar they set up in the gym (disclosure: no beer until climbing is done. I'm crazy, but not stupid). Then, when I heard the words "Shoe sale" over the intercom, I knew I was in heaven. I had been hunting around for a new pair of climbing shoes so when they were selling some for half off, I knew I had to act fast. Eddy, of course, had to get the same climbing shoes as me, again. I don't blame him though, they were great shoes.

All in all, it was a great night climbing.

Week of September 13th 2010 (Part I): Take the Lead Climbing Test

So for those of you who know me, you know that a little over a year ago I found a hobby I'm really passionate about. I absolutely love rock climbing and try to go as often as possible. Especially after Kevin left, climbing became therapeutic. Having something to really pour my energy into helped me get my mind off of anything else going on.

But back to the lead test - In rock climbing, there are 3 main ways to climb. The most familiar method is called top roping. This is were a rope is hanging from the top of the wall, and you have a person at the other end of the rope keeping it taught in case you fall. Another popular method is called bouldering. Typically, the wall is no higher than 10-12 feet and you climb above a padded mat. If you fall, you fall onto the mat below. The third method, which is commonly used outdoors (I climb in a gym), is called lead climbing. With lead climbing, you carry a rope up with you and clip to anchors (called a quickdraw) along the wall. If you fall, you will fall at least as far as the last clip you made, and typically several feet farther than that.


Because of the safety issues and complications with how far you can fall, gyms typically test you rigorously on your climbing technique. They want to see that you climb and clip safely as it is easy to get your legs tangled in the rope, clip incorrectly, etc. Any of these things can have pretty bad results, from having you flip upside down when you fall, to having some of your clips come undone.

However, the biggest test is the fall... like I said, if you fall lead climbing, you fall at least as far as your last clip. However, you probably have some extra rope and there is some reaction time from your belayer which means your fall is likely to be around 5-15 ft. Also, the belayer tends to be pulled up into the air a few feet. This tends to freak some people out.

So... now that you have a short history of rock climbing (sorry if you knew all of this already, I'm trying to cater to all sorts of audiences), let me tell you my story.

Shortly after I started climbing, I got my friend Eddy into it. Ever since then, the two of us have constantly pushed each other to improve our climbing. From signing onto competitions to comparing routes that we've done, we've definitely helped eachother push our limits. So, when Eddy told me we were learning how to lead climb, I knew I had to do it.

We'd been learn lead climbing tips and practicing "mock leading" (taking a rope up with you as if you are lead climbing, but being tied into the top rope the whole time) for a couple of weeks when Eddy told me we were going to take the lead climbing test that week because they set up an easy route for it and he knew someone who passed it on the first try.

So, we got to the gym, and did a little not-so-great mock leading, but decided to take the test anyways. Somehow it was decided that I would go first. I think it was possibly because I really wasn't afraid of the fall, but more skeptical about my ability to do the climb without falling as it was one that required more upper body strength. I did the climb, but my nerves got the best of me and I was shaking a lot of the way up. I got to the last overhang, made my clip and then called down to Eddy that I was going to fall. I let go and it wasn't so bad. However, in terms of the test - automatic FAIL.

Eddy climbed next and I had to belay him. The process was fairly smooth, however I had some room for improvement. Eddy made it past the overhang but then missed a clip resulting in an automatic fail as well. Now came the part I was more afraid of... rising into the air when Eddy fell. The rising itself wasn't too bad but it is hard to hold the rope and lower as you're more sensitive to the weight difference on a lead rope.

The lead test has continued to be my Achilles heel over the past few weeks. Tries 2-3 had similar results (i.e. not being able to finish the route) and try 4 was even more devastating. I finished the climb, but the tester didn't like my belaying. Ironically, he dinged me for following the advice I'd received on another test. The worst part was, I hurt my ankle and foot on both the fall and when I rose as Eddy fell. It sucks being hurt and not being able to climb for a few days, but it would have been worth it if I'd passed.

Oh well... 5th times a charm?

Week of August 30th 2010: Walk Across the Golden Gate Bridge

So this was actually the activity that gave me the idea to try something new each week. I had heard about walking across the Golden Gate Bridge my freshman year of college and had wanted to do it since then. However, I always had an excuse - too tired, not enough time, too cold, no one to go with. Suddenly, I found myself alone on a Sunday of a long weekend with perfect weather, nothing to do, and plenty of energy. It was time.

I figured if I was going to walk it, I could run it (if you know anything about my workout habits, you know I would rather do anything than run...) and as I was mere days away from saying goodbye to Kevin, I had a lot of aggression to pump out.

After dealing with a bit of traffic, I finally was able to park my car up by the bridge. I didn't think about dealing with metered parking so I was only able to get an hour's worth of parking - had to be quick!

I realized if I was going to actually run this thing, my music choice was going to be critical. I decided to go with Pink's Funhouse cd. It may sound cheesy but as I was on the verge of losing someone that I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to - most of the songs about her divorce really hit home. Although I didn't run the whole thing (did I mention I hate running?), I did burst into a full blown sprint when "Please Don't Leave Me" came on. It's amazing what a difference some music can make when you're working out, and I'm also sure listening to that song again would bring all of those emotions of that day rushing back.

I made it to the end, snapped some pictures and headed back. If this is something you haven't done - I would highly recommend it. It was nice to get outside, and get some fresh air. It's rare to get a warm, sunny day is SF (especially around the bridge) so really capitalize on the next one that comes by and get out there.

The last take away I got from this was that I don't always need to be with someone to do something. I had asked around if anyone wanted to walk the bridge with me but everyone was busy. At first that was a deterrent but then I realized that I could go at my own pace and do my own thing if I went on my own anyway. I've been slowly get more used to doing things on my own (I had dinner by myself last night) and I think I really like it. Don't get me wrong - I love having people around, but I'm starting to appreciate the beauty of being able to really do something with or without anyone else.