Outgoing Octopus October - 2017 Update #10

This month was about getting back on track. The migraines and neck pain I experienced in September really threw me off my goals and all the progress I'd made in August. Luckily, I was able to get those under control by improving my posture while working and recognizing my migraine triggers. Good thing too - October had A LOT going on... so let's get to it.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

So much of this month was spent with family. Traveling home for a wedding for each of our families meant a lot of time spent with those we love. There's also just something about weddings that brings out so much magic and joy.

I had such a great time getting to know Dan's family better as well. It's the first time we've seen them since our own wedding and now, a year later, it's really sunk in that this is my family too. It was also really great to meet a lot of the extended family that had liked our big life event Facebook posts. 

Lastly, it was our one year wedding anniversary! I can and can't believe it's been a year. It's somehow managed to be long and fast at the same time. I've had some big life hurdles this year and I'm so lucky to have someone like Dan by my side to get through them. It definitely would have been a much harder year than it was. On a lighter note... obviously that was a date night for us! Otherwise, we have been so busy it's been hard to have time for just the two of us. It's definitely something to work on as we close out the year. 

It's also cool enough now to bring back the family walks! There are so many hikes we didn't do before it got too hot. I'm hoping to knock some of those out before we end this year. 

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

my outdoor gym!

This one really peaked in August and hasn't gotten back to that level. I was averaging 7-10 workouts a week that month. Now it's like 3. I really hit a wall after my migraine in September. It took me two weeks to really bounce back from the after effects. I felt a couple of other migraines coming on in October but now that I could read the symptoms I was able to take some medicine and hide in darkness which stopped them from getting really bad. The break from my fitness schedule did it's damage though and it was hard to get into the same rhythm (the cold Dan brought home didn't help either)...

But no excuses! November is all about fixing that (we'll get there later). I always have an idea of my next goal at the end of the month before and knowing that I wanted to tackle this again in November helped me end October strong. Even though we were on the other side of the country the last week of the month, we managed to get into the gym one day and go on a long hike another. We probably could have done more but it was already more of an effort that we usually make on trips.

Meal Planning

Crock pot Gourmet

It's funny how this has actually started to feel more natural as I've made myself busier. Part of the month goal involved me inviting friends over a little more. Generally it was an extension of meeting them at the gym or something. I didn't want to get home from a workout and then have to worry about cooking and not getting to socialize so I planned out slow cooker meals that I could set up ahead of time. It meant food was ready after our workout AND I got to talk to my friends instead of hiding in the kitchen. It's definitely made me want to use that strategy more. It will also be nice now that it's getting cooler and a lot of soups can be made easily in the slow cooker.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

This month actually had us going on two mini trips - one to each of our families for weddings. While driving to LA is no big feat, going out to Ohio is something we really haven't done enough of. We've had a crazy couple of years since our last trip but part of the reason was also that the first trip wasn't great for me. I had been sick the whole week and paired with the 20 degree weather, I just always felt freezing and cooped up inside.

This past trip was much better. It was twice as warm and 40-50 degrees was something I could deal with a little better. We went on a long hike through some of the most gorgeous nature I'd ever seen. We were also there for his sister's wedding so I was able to meet a lot of the family members that weren't able to make the trip for our wedding. Lastly, it was just nice to spend more time with his family. With the loss of my mom, I ache for those connections more and getting to bond with them was something that felt really nice. I'm excited to have them come out to California again soon and it won't be another 3 years until we go out to Ohio again.

Read a Book a Week

I crushed it this month! While I did read 2 books just on the Ohio trip alone (so much airplane time!), I was already ahead for the month before that. It feels awesome to get a lead again. Focusing on fun, quick reads like I wanted to helped a lot. I also chipped away at an audiobook during my driving and I plan on continuing that habit. I was going to use this lead on my goal as an opportunity to start reading books that I've been interested in but were worried would take longer... and then I remembered it's my favorite book time of the year!

I use Goodreads to track all of my reading, make challenges, and create those cool little lists that I post here each month. One of my favorite things about the site though are their annual Goodreads awards. I always try to read as many of the books as possible which is pretty tough in the 4 weeks of voting. This year I tried keeping track of 2017 books as they were coming out. It means I've already read 5 of the books... which unfortunately is about how many I get anyways without trying.

Oh well! I've already made my library lists so now it's all about getting as many more read as possible so I can vote accurately! If I can hit 7 books again this month, I'll definitely feel good about my votes. 

Nominees!!!!! 

Me Time

Me time has always been an odd goal for me. I love being around people and working from home gets a little lonely sometimes but despite that I still feel like sometimes I just need me space. Even though I work from home, I'm still working so it's not it's time to just unwind from everything else I have going on.

This month was a lot about knowing when to push for the "Outgoing" goal and when to just say no because I need that break from everything. I think it went really well. I tried really hard to find a balance. I fit more friend time into week days so that I could save some weekend time for me. I tried to not book things on back to back days so that I could have a break if I needed.

I also used that free time a little more productively. Obviously I read a lot. I also worked on my Etsy shop so there are more listings. Lastly, I made some big strides on my cross stitch. I'd love to give it to Dan for our 2nd Anniversary (cotton) but it's FAR from done.

Outgoing Octopus October

My original plan was to make a list of 8 things I did to be more outgoing this month. I quickly realized that would be weird. I don't want people to think I'm doing things for a list or a little goal. The point was more about building habits that strengthen friendships and help me make new ones.

So instead, I'm going to generally talk about the types of things I did.

For starters, I made an effort to be there more. I think we've all been in situations where we're casually invited to things. Little things like "Who wants to grab a drink tonight?" I said yes more to those... and it made me realize how many times I don't show up. It feels little but it adds up to missing out on a lot. While it was only a couple more instances of saying yes... they were really fun times that I would have missed out on because it was too far of a drive or I wanted to stay in.

I also tried to make more of my communities. I'm in some group chats. I went to a big college and small high school that have a lot of alumni in San Diego. I'm a member of 3 gyms. I have a whole additional family in law that I acquired a year ago. I used these connections more to socialize whether it was going to alumni events, gym events, or just being friendlier and joking around more with all of the above.

Lastly, it was a lot about just deepening relationships I already have. Sometimes when I'm feeling sad or left out I think "maybe I just need to make new friends." That's a horrible attitude. Friendships go both ways and while I hate feeling like I'm always the one to instigate plans, I know I need to sometimes. I invited friends out and over more than I had been. It reminded me that this is something I used to do ALL THE TIME. And then I stopped. I forgot how much I liked doing it. It reminded me that it's important for me to make the effort to maintain my friendships as well.

This was all exactly what I needed this month. I think it was the perfect timing too. I had a lot of hurt and heartbreak in the past year and it really affected me. In hindsight, I was probably a little depressed about all of it. Because I'm generally really positive, it was hard to see that I wasn't being as friendly or making the same kind of effort to show up and make plans because I was hurt. I was afraid of rejection. I had all these walls up that are so unlike me. If I had tried this  6 months ago, it would have been hard to overcome all of that doubt. This timing was better though because I'd built up my confidence more through my exercise, my goals, my amazingly supportive husband, and those great friends that always reached out to me even if I wasn't making the effort.

It feels good to feel like I'm more myself and I'm happy I was in a place to even start this month's goal. The fact that it went so well puts me in a good spot to keep it up and stay in a great place.

No Excuses November

Part of the delay in posting this, was figuring out the best way to wrap my head around this goal. It's a combination of things and it's not entirely clear to me either.

So... I think the best way to sum it up is that this month is about doing things when you're able to instead of putting them off. It's kind of a combination of several of the past months goals. There's a few specific areas I want to focus on:

- Fitness! Of course. It's not a total coincidence that our new gym is called No Excuses PT. The last two months have been very excuse filled for me. I had migraines, a cold, and traveling. While I take my health seriously, I definitley milked those excuses for what they were worth. Not ok. Even if I'm not feeling great I still should do something small like take the dog for a walk or doing a home workout.

- Chores! I'm the worst at chores that aren't cooking. I want to get better at just doing them before they get worse and take longer.

- Real Estate and Etsy! Making more of an effort to do outreach and build my businesses.

- Friends! Keeping up with last month, I don't want to just make excuses for not doing things. I know I can't do everything but I want to try to be there when I can.

The point is... I can always find a reason to not do something so maybe it's time to find reasons TO do them instead. This week, for example, I've been feeling sluggish. While I still made time for climbing and walking the dog, I thought about not going to the bootcamp gym. My excuse was resting for a 10k I'm doing this weekend.... but that's not a great reason. It's not like I've been training for this race anyways and today's workout had very little leg in it. I decided to just go and in the end, it gave me that energy boost I'd been missing most of the week.

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That's it for this month! November is looking to be as busy as October was but I'm not going to let that distract me from goals and getting things done. One week in, I've already managed to knock out a lot in terms of my fitness, cooking experiments, and making time for friends. Now if I can round out the business side of things, this will be an awesome month.

Steady September 2017 - Update #9

Wow, I feel like I totally lost track of this month. I was looking at my browser and saw the Blogger tab and thought, "I should probably start writing the September post even though the month ends in... 2 DAYS? Wait, really? How are there only two days left??" Crazy fast month.

Anyways, this post is a little late. I've been dealing with some neck issues that have really affected all the areas of my life below and blog writing. This post is going to be a little shorter because of it but hopefully I'll bounce back this month.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

We luckily started the month with a long weekend out of town. We got to spend a lot of time eating out together (which is something we don't do much) and also got to see a lot of friends. It was awesome to spend the weekend on a relaxing note.

We've also been trying to go to the gym together more. Normally, I like to go when it's less busy but my schedule didn't allow that this week. The plus side was getting to go at the same time as Dan. I've heard that working out together is a great way to strengthen a relationship and I'm happy we get to do that.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This started out so well - coming out of Athletic August into a new month, I had great habits set up. Even when I didn't really want to work out, I knew I'd feel good afterwards so went anyways. It was great!

Around the 3rd week of the month though, I hit a wall. Between work stress and other plans, I missed the gym a few days. All in all, I think I just needed the break. I started the following week with yoga. The next day, I went climbing and was just crushing it. I felt so much more confident and was trying harder climbs. The third day, I had a super busy day at work and was so excited to sweat it out at the gym and that workout was awesome too. I left feeling like my light week was the perfect way to rest my body and come back stronger... and then I got hit with a migraine. I honestly don't think I've ever had one before because I always thought they were just a bad headache. It's so much more than that. I was left with a stiff neck for several days after which also kept me from doing any more exercise.

It's hard when you miss the gym because you're busy or stressed.... it's even harder when you want to go and physically can't. It's crazy because I workout and eat healthy so that my body is always in tip top shape and going through something like a migraine where your body really turns against you - it's a little scary. I hope it's just something that was triggered by an especially stressful day and not a regular occurrence.

Meal Planning

Since this was a busy month for me, I was more dependent on organizing our meals for the week and also using the slow cooker. People also ask how I can manage working two jobs, exercise, and cooking. Meal planning is a huge part of that.

I have two other tricks that I've mentioned before. The first is the slow cooker/ instant pot. It's so nice to be able to prep a meal and have it cook while I'm working or running errands. The second is to just do really easy meals. One of my favorites is to make something that is 100% in the oven. That way I can take a shower or take care of other things while dinner is cooking instead of tending to something on the stove.

I really love this particular habit because it's a big "do it all" habit. I don't want to sacrifice eating well in order to work on other things. Just a little bit of prep goes a long way in making that possible. 

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

I loved having the time at the beginning of the month for our long weekend. With how busy work has been this month, it's got me itching for another trip. I definitely wouldn't mind starting to think about where we can go next year. As homeowners, we have some tax benefits that will hopefully lead to a good refund. That should pad our savings enough to help us meet this goal next year!

Read a Book a Week

Right on track here! It felt like I was on a roll at the beginning of the month and then I hit a book that was a slower but interesting read. I'm trying to avoid those for now but it's still hard when I come across something that looks good.

I'm also trying to listen to more audiobooks. I'm in my car a lot more now and audiobooks are such a great way to kill that time while getting some reading done as well. I'm always a little hesitant about them because some books work better than others for it. That's where learning how to put a book down comes in handy. I started one audiobook and could not follow it from the get go so I ended up turning it off and listening to This American Life instead.

Me Time

My neck injury had one upside - a lot of me time! I spent the last day of the month in bed with Netflix. Healing from a migraine or concussion or whatever happened means a lot of rest of darkness and quiet. So I messed up on the quiet but staying in and taking it easy was a great way to help that healing.

I also seem to keep having a day a month where Dan is busy - either working or with his own plans. I know I could take that time and catch up with my friends but I've been choosing to take that time to relax and read and catch up on my own projects... and it's been so nice. It's really been the definition of what I meant by this goal and I love it. I hope I keep being able to have a day or two just to take care of me. 

Steady September

This was a really tough one for me. It was about balance and bringing everything together. The month started really well... and then it fell apart. I don't want this to be about excuses so we'll avoid those. I think sometimes doing it all requires some things to fall into place more out of luck than anything. It was already piling on but then my migraine and subsequent head and neck ache really just blew it open. The last week of the month was just totally useless for me and I hate ending on a fail. I definitely want to keep this goal in front of me because it really is THE GOAL but it didn't happen this month because of forces out of my control. 

Outgoing Octopus October

This totally sounds weird. Early last month I said to Dan, "Hey - I thought of the goal for next month!" and he said "Octopus October????" so I gave him a "really???" face and never told him what it was because he didn't ask. When it came up later in another conversation he asked what happened to Octopus October. I told him that doesn't even make sense and he explained that I could try to do 8 new things. Ok, that's not so bad, but I still liked the Outgoing October idea... so why not combine them? Do 8 new things with the goal of lowering inhibitions and fears. 

If you know me, this might seem like a weird one. I'm not super shy. I don't have a hard time talking to strangers or public speaking or anything like that. I know how to be polite and friendly. However, it just hasn't all felt like it's clicked lately.

Honestly, I've felt a little not like myself for a while. I've had a tough year and I think it's really shaken the core of who I am. I lost my mom, I had troubles with close friendships, and frankly, Dan and I still are fairly new to San Diego which can be a lonely feeling all on it's own. At the end of the day, all of that has left me feeling like a more subdued and self conscious version of myself.

Pair that with real estate, a career that requires confidence and a huge personality, and it becomes a big issue. I go to all of the real estate training that I can and I come out of them with a list of ideas and plans to build my business - and then I freeze. 

So this goal is really two fold. The first, and most obvious is to make that real estate push. It's to connect with strangers and bring up real estate more. It's to call people and do things that are a little outside my comfort zone. The worst thing that can happen is that someone says no or doesn't want to talk to you but it's still a tough one.The second goal is to keep trying to build my San Diego community. I love being surrounded by many different types of people. I think I've made a lot of good friends so far and then stopped trying to keep building that community.

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That's it for September! I'm happy to report that after a week+, my neck is finally feeling much better. I'm definitely still feeling cautious and plan on taking it easy for a few more days just to be sure but I'm really feeling antsy to get back to the gym and feeling normal.

Jigsaw July - 2017 Update #7

Wow - another month already? It's crazy how this year is flying, but I'm finding that as each month goes by, these habits are really becoming routine.

Designated Date Time

The weekly Saturday hikes just aren't going to happen for a while. In addition to having too much going on, it's just too hot. Sure - we could wake up at 6am and hike before it gets hot out. Frankly, we don't want to. Saturdays are the one day we really just get to sleep in, catch up on chores, and take it easy.


So we found a different solution. Whenever we can, we just take the dog on a nighttime walk through the neighborhood. We don't have to worry about her overheating, it doesn't take too long, and it's a nice time for us to just talk about our days and spend a little time together. The idea of weekly hikes was really cool and I hope we can get back to it in the Fall/Winter. However, big cool ideas just aren't always manageable. This was a great lesson in doing what you can and knowing that something is better than nothing.

We've also been good about getting out on more dates and spending time doing fun things around the city together. From beer events to Comicon events and everything in between, we were so good about spending time together and having fun this month.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

technique might have had help from new shoes!

I'll get to this again later, but sticking to a routine while a lot of events are going on, is really really difficult. July is a busy month. We had a very long 4th of July weekend, Comicon, and lots of birthdays. All of those events are fun but they throw a wrench in your schedule. Yes, I could have said no to all of those things... but I'm not a robot. I think they're all fun too, way more fun than working out... and that's generally what happened. These things aren't just disruptive when they happen, they take a few days to rest up from too. After both the 4th of July and Comicon, I had to take a couple of days off from exercising just to relax. 

TLDR: events are fun but really disruptive when you're trying to make a habit.

In all, I think I netted even. I worked hard and noticed some improvements in Body Pump. Climbing is a little different. I think my technique is getting better but I feel like I'm getting tired quicker. I think that has a lot to do with everything else I have going on. I'm looking forward to a milder August so I can focus more on my fitness... but more on that later.

One plus for fitness in July - fun and laid back exercise! Dan and I joined a kickball league and also got to try out stand up paddle boarding. The latter definitely grew on me quickly and I'm hoping we can get our own eventually!

Meal Planning

Last month, I discovered a trick to meal planning... freezing leftovers for future lunches! I have LOVED it. I don't have a lot of issues with cooking dinner each night but I do run out of time for making my lunches or just have a craving for a quick meal. This has worked out wonderfully.

My other issue has been with buying too many groceries. I love deals and also get excited about vegetables.. and tend to buy more than we can eat before it goes bad. Planning out meals was supposed to help me buy only what I needed for the week. Well, I went another way instead... I decided to start cooking dinner for the dog. Most of what we eat - meats and veggies - are good for her too. I did a lot of research on what dogs can have and what they need and have started making dinners for her. Usually, it works out that I can incorporate our extra veggies into her meals and we have less waste overall.

I'll give this it's own post eventually but if you're thinking about making food for your dog here are some basic guidelines:

Harley's Dinner for a few days:
 ground pork , veggies, and liver

- Dogs are omnivores but skewing toward carnivore. Meat should be more than 50% of their diet and the primary weight in their meal ( I weigh Harley's meals to make sure I'm not overfeeding).

- They need fat so dark meat is a little better than light when you can. Also make sure you are giving fish at least once a week and liver/offal about 5% of the time.

- Dogs can have some meats and bones raw. It seems like fish is the big exception here so make sure you cook that.

- Do a lot of research! Every time we want to give her a new vegetable, I look up and see if it's ok. I also read up a lot on how to find balance in a dog's diet. They really need to eat bones to get enough calcium but I was too worried about choking so instead we mix egg shells into her meals. We also still give her dry food for breakfast. 

I love that she's eating as well as us now and we're wasting less food!

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

Still no more big trips for a while but we are starting to plan our small trips for weddings! We're so excited to see our friends and Dan's family on our next few long weekend trips. And that's all I have to say about that...

Read a Book a Week

One. Book. Just one. Obviously, that's a little under my goal. I'm kind of impressed I even got this one though... and it doesn't even have anything to do with everything else I have going on.

Screw you, you intelligent man

No... it's all Alexander Hamilton's fault. Oh yes. I encouraged book club to read it this month. Even though I had months to read it, I started 4 weeks before the meetup date... to read a 720 page book with the smallest font I've ever seen. I didn't finished in time for book club and still have 200 pages to read. Since I didn't make the deadline, I've slowed down my pace and read The Glass Castle as a break. I'll keep chipping away at Alexander Hamilton, but I'd like to read a whole lot of fluff this month as well. I've read so many biographies and memoirs this year and I'm ready to read some really silly fiction and probably a couple of comic books. Hopefully that gets my numbers back up for August because I've destroyed my buffer.

Me Time

Great find while cleaning!

We had so much going on in July. I had my two jobs, my endless fitness goals, and all of the fun events we listed. Every weekend I was either working or we had some fun, exhausting thing going on... until the last weekend. I spent the last Sunday in July with a whole lot of me time.

Dan and I started the morning organizing the garage - a task that we've needed to do since the day we moved in. Then, he went to work pouring wine at the soccer game and I had the whole day to myself. I mostly took care of chores and errands and read... but it was nice to do it at my own pace. I didn't have any person or list telling me what to do for the day and I felt really accomplished while not being rushed. It just goes to show, that you don't need a whole lot of me time but maybe half day per month will be enough to totally refresh you.

And even had some time to find this bridge while out exploring!

Jigsaw July

I really loved this goal. There was a lot of wisdom in it that I didn't realize at the time. June was about making the leap from someone who had a normal job and a lot of hobbies.. to someone doing all that and trying to learn a whole additional career on the side. June was about making the push. July was about getting used to it. I could have easily tacked on some other goal for the month but I knew what I needed... and it wasn't one more project. I needed to master what I already had on my plate.

It takes about 2-3 months to master a habit, on average. That's the whole reason that most of these posts are about making progress. It's not a one off thing - I'm trying to build better habits for life. It's also why they're not resolutions. I plan on continuing this for perpetuity, as long as I can manage. Last month, I threw a wrench in my habits. I didn't manage to destroy them, and I knew it was manageable... but it would take some getting used to.

And that was the point of July. I wanted to give myself that extra month to turn my new lifestyle into a habit. Mostly, it worked. I will still need some time and a lot of outside forces pushed on me last month which made it hard to fully adapt. However, I can feel it getting easier. I've figured out ways and habits to make the real estate work load fit better into my schedule. I've made a habit of signing up for as much training as possible. I've taught myself a lot whenever I could. I know I can still do more but I have more time to fit more in. I have a safety net in my full time job and I will feel more comfortable taking the time to learn as much as possible while I move forward in real estate. 

Athletic August 

You're probably wondering why I need this when I already have a fitness goal that's one of my habits. Well, I always feel like I fall short of that. Even when I do well and go to my classes and gym dates, I still feel like I'm not hitting my goal. It's probably because I have a very firm goal - to be at the peak of my fitness. Going to the gym 3x a week isn't going to cut it.

August is the time for that and for a very good reason - I have nothing going on. Every month this year, I've had something going on. Comicon, holidays, trips, deaths, new jobs, tests. There have been so many excuses or things that took me away from routine. Was Comicon the most fun ever? Yes. Was it disruptive to my schedule and life? So much yes! It was one of the most disruptive because the time we were away from home was like being on vacation... but we still had to take care of our pets and were living here and making a mess without taking the time to clean up. It set us really behind.

So there is none of that this month. Well, no, I'm lying. There is one thing going on in August and it's my annual Spartan race. While we'll be out of town for a weekend, it's still athletically related so it's not going to throw off that fitness element. It embraces it.

Other than staying on schedule, I have some solid goals. Unlike other months that were more general, I want to get really specific so here we go:

• Do 30 burpees a day and try to increase this number - the burpee works out so much of your body and is key to excelling at obstacle course racing... and I hate them. 
• Pull-ups - I want to put the pull up bar back into the house and keep attempting to do them. I'm sure they've improved but I don't work on it. 
• No days off - as I write this, I skipped my workout today because I was "busy." Not okay next month. I know you need rest days but to me, that means a day off from the hard stuff. I'd still like to get in a casual walk, some stretching, or yoga on the days that I need to rest from harder work outs.
• Level up - most of my workouts are pretty quantifiable. I know what level I climb at. I know what weights I can lift in body pump. I know how fast I can run. I'm definitely plateauing and so this is the time to push through to get to the next level.
• Kick it! Dan and I joined a kickball league. The last time I played kickball, I could barely get on base. It was just fun for me. While it's still a good time, I'm actually good now. It's fun watching my other fitness flow through and seeing results on the field. I want to keep it going, make sure I don't miss a game, and kick some balls!
• And a last minute add... 31 days of fitness! A local gym that Dan loves is having a promotion. 31 day membership for $31 including a beginning and ending fitness evaluation and a practice obstacle race at the end. Another way to quantify my month!

So yea, I'm excited for this goal and excited to have a month to focus on bettering myself. I hope adding in the burpees, pull ups, and extra days will do what it takes to get me to the next level. This is my time and I'm excited to really get to peak fitness.

Just Do It June - 2017 Update #6

Another month has come and gone! June was a huge month for me. I "just did" so many new things or tackled pesky chores that had been lingering on my to-do list for months. I'm really loving the one-off resolutions and I think I'd also like to do some posts that circle back on some of the past ones. Some are building on each other nicely but even ones like Fabulous February have been in the back on my mind on a day to day basis.

Let's focus on June though! I finally started working part time as a Real Estate Agent in addition to my full time job and 7,562 hobbies. It was a really busy month but I didn't let that stop me from also holding that Housewarming party and taking care of some much needed chores. Both of those things had been lingering on my to-do list for almost 9 months. That's insane. This month was all about just tackling those to-dos and it really took a big weight off my shoulders.

Designated Date Time

We really haven't been as good about this as we were earlier in the year. We've basically ditched our weekly hikes and most "us" time has just been doing chores side by side or watching TV together. However - we have been better at sporadic evening walks. There's something so pleasant about summer nights and Harley loves when we go for a family stroll through the neighborhood. Whenever I'm not feeling too busy, I'll suggest it. Dan and doggy never say no.

Dan also realized that maybe we need some more fun activity time together and booked a surprise date for the end of the month. He had bought us tickets for opening night of a video game exhibit at the local science museum. We got to play Dance Central in front of a room full of people and Mario Kart on the wall of the planetarium. We also just played a bunch of retro and obscure games. It was really fun and I was so happy he wanted to get us tickets for something cool to do on our own.

We spent a lot of June hanging out with a lot of our friends. I'd been feeling really detached after being out of town for basically a month and really needed to socialize more. While it was fun spending time with people, that date night was a good reminder that we need to make time for each other too.

 Here are some shots of Mario Kart in the Planetarium. It's hard to see the game with the lights on but you can't tell the size with the lights off so I present both to you.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This is the first time since before my mom passed away, that I really feel like I've gotten back on my exercise schedule. When your life gets derailed, it takes a long time to get things back on track. This has been about 3 months of trying to get one of my biggest priorities back to where it was and I feel like I only just got there near the end of the month.

But it feels so good to have some aspect of "normal" back. Last week, Dan and I finally made it back to an exercise class that we attend religiously every Thursday (it's even in a church!) for the first time in about 11 weeks. It felt right and like an important piece of me was back in place.

When you exercise, you get to be Katniss

We also had our races this month! I really wanted to feel like I was giving it my all but after 2-3 months of much less working out than is usual for me, that was hard. The night before the first race, we subbed into a kickball game as well. In an effort to show off, I definitely over-exerted a little and hurt my Achilles. I definitely don't feel like I was able to give the race my all, but somehow I still managed to come in the top 10 of non-competitive women. I'm excited for what that will mean for me when I am able to give it my best effort. Maybe it means I'll need to graduate to the competitive level!

This habit was a great example of Just Doing It. I went from working out two days a week to four days a week and that's more normal for me. I feel better, have more energy, and my muscle tone is coming back. I love seeing and feeling the little changes that remind me why I like fitness so much.

Meal Planning

I did the thing I didn't want to do. I turned some of my meal planning into meal prepping and it happened for the most natural reason - time management. I have a secret. I'm really bad at lunch. People assume that because I work from home, I have a lot of lunch freedom. Generally, I'm pretty busy until around 1-2 and then I'm picky about what I want to eat. By the time I get around to eating most days it's usually pretty late for lunch or I run out to buy something or throw together some snacks so I don't waste my appetite for dinner. While we usually have some leftovers, I don't really like eating the same thing several meals in a row. It's a super first world problem but with adding the real estate job, I really needed to fix this issue because I now had even less time in my day.

I still don't like the general idea of meal prepping - make a bunch of food on Sunday and eat the same meals all week. It continues the problem of being picky about eating the same thing for each meal.... and then it hit me. Why don't I take my leftovers and freeze them? Then I don't have to have the same thing every day. If I'm feeling picky, it's ok because I'll have built up a variety of lunches in the freezer so I'll have a choice.

This all came to me near the end of the month. I will still have the problem of limited freezer space BUT I've been wanting to pull the trigger on an extra storage freezer and this could be it. It will also give me a chance to make things like curries and spicy foods that Dan doesn't like - and keep them as freezer lunches for myself. I already bought containers and labels and I'm excited to start cooking and freezing big batches of lunches for myself.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

Doing the math, it seems unlikely we'll be able to take another big trip this year which stinks because the travel bug is biting really hard. Dan and I didn't take a lot of trips early in our relationship. They were mostly short, domestic trips. Since getting married, we've had two fun international trips and it reminded me how much I want to do and see. Unfortunately, we're both going to be grinding down to our last few hours of PTO after taking the rest of our time for weddings and Comicon. I'm glad this is a new habit/priority though and I can't wait until whatever we come up with for next year.

In the meantime, here's another picture from our trip to Europe!

Read a Book a Week

I only finished three books this month. It happens. This is why I had such a buffer built up - because I can't do everything. Starting in real estate is like starting your own business. I was also trying to get back on a solid fitness schedule and knock out a lot of things I'd been putting off. It didn't help that one of the books was a longer, slower read.

I have another super long book to read next month, but I also have some ideas. I'm on the road a lot more with this real estate gig so it's time to start listening to audio books again! I think that will really help me stay on schedule and get to my reading goal this year.

Me Time

This month was obviously busy for me. I was balancing so much more in terms of juggling two jobs, but there's something about stress that lights me up. I somehow managed all of that and tackled some big projects around the house. While that meant less me time, it was time better used. I was taking my time and putting it toward something bigger.

I read an article this month that felt really relative. It was 4 people under thirty and what they did to become millionaires before 40. The last was a young woman who said to invest in yourself. Use your time thoughtfully, invest in your ideas, and start your own businesses. It felt really in line with what I've been trying to do. So while "me time" is on the back burner for a little while, it's being invested and I hope it reaps some serious rewards down the line.

But that's not to say it was a total shut out. I mentioned doing a few races, and afterwards, I needed to recover. Sometimes that's taking a night off from the gym and taking it easy for a day. I made time for friends. I got back on my workout schedule. This is definitely a piece of the puzzle that needs to fit a little better going forward but this month was full of transitions for me so I'm confident I can carve out more me time when everything is all set. 

Just Do It June

The first day of June started the way many of my days do. I stayed in bed a little longer than I should have, asked Dan to make me coffee, and then opened my computer and started working - not really getting out of bed until I needed breakfast. It's a nice perk of working from home but it's also an easy way to get stuck in a rut and this month was about moving out of ruts, doing more. So - I decided to fix that. I spent my lunch break starting to organize my office. I spent my afternoon getting ahead on work projects and actually sitting at my desk. Whenever I had to wait for something to load, I used that time to multitask and get a little more organized. I'm a big believer that you need to set precedents for yourself and I wanted to have this first day of June set the example of how this month was going to go.

Always have a book handy

It's crazy how much we can do when we set our minds to it. I decided to keep my goals reasonable - I didn't want to stress myself out or create unreasonable deadlines. For example, I had been putting off hemming some curtains since we moved into our house 9 months ago. Finally, I got so annoyed with them dragging on the floor and not closing that I added it to my immediate to do list. I had four to do but I decided to just try to do the first two over the course of two days when I was less busy. I ended up doing all four within a couple of hours. I'd put off this task for so long but once I started going, I realized it wasn't that hard and it made more sense just to knock it all out while I had all the tools set up. It was a good lesson that sometimes things that we put off for a long time blow up in our minds as really difficult projects, but they actually end up being pretty manageable when we just sit down and do it. I'm also happy that I didn't tell myself it would take an hour and then stress out when it took a little longer. It's nice to give yourself more than enough time to do something and be pleasantly surprised when you can do it faster and have extra time for other things. On the flip side, the days where I made huge lists of things to do, I ended up feeling overwhelmed and struggling to cross anything off my list - I didn't even know where to start. Even re-reading this section is a good reminder that I need to pace myself and give myself reasonable goals, especially when I have so much I'd like to do.

I also have truly just jumped into this real estate career. It's unbelievable to me how quickly this ball has been rolling, but I love it. I signed my papers on a Saturday, had my orientation that Monday, and by Sunday was sitting at my first Open House. Real Estate is all about finding opportunities and jumping on them which fits really well with my personality. Even though it's only been a few weeks, I feel like I'm moving right along and creating good habits that will help me build this business. I'm excited about what my future holds.

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Jigsaw July

At this point, you're probably wondering where I'm even coming up with these names. I'm not going to lie, it was really hard to think of another J word that fit what I wanted to do so bear with me. 

After June, I know that anything is possible. I started a second career. I finally had that housewarming party. I took on several projects that I'd been meaning to get to. I even finally went to the dentist. I just did it. I can just do anything... but that's the tip of the iceberg. Always "just doing" projects isn't sustainable. You need balance. June was about starting. It was about knowing things were possible. July is about fitting it all together, like a jigsaw puzzle (there it is!!!).

These monthly challenges are separate but cumulative so I really like that July builds off of June, which built off of May. I put my best effort forward, just went after my goals, and now I want to find the best way to balance my full time job, my entry into real estate, my fitness, my hobbies, my friends, and me time. It's a lot. There's a reason these are challenges, but the idea of these habits and check ins is to be constantly moving towards being my best self. 

April 2017 - Check in #4

After the last one, I can't even imagine writing a post about something as silly as habits. My original plan was break up this post between the time before our trip to Europe and after it - figuring that obviously we wouldn't be following our habits while in Europe. Little did I know, a much bigger event would occur - the death of my mom would change the flow of all of my day to day habits. So, I guess this will really be broken into life before everything happening (my mom passing, the time spent with family, and of course, our trip to Europe) and after everything. Since I'd already written many of the "before" parts as I was going through them, it feels really accurate to keep the feelings I had then versus how I am now.

Family Time

Before Everything

I already knew April was going to be a bust for this one. We had our trip coming up and busy weekends up until then. The first weekend in May, we traded our family hike for a bike ride with friends. Dan had to work part of the weekend so I took Harley to the beach the other day. While we all got out of the house in some way or another, it wasn't quite the same and sometimes that's ok. If you're pushing a goal so much that you're missing out on other things, then that's not great either.

The following week we had a friend in town and had a race and brunch that took place of the hike. My friend and I ran the race while Dan and Harley cheered us on. While it wasn't the same as a family hike, we did what we could while balancing our other plans.

After Everything

The idea of family time just including Dan and Harley seems so faulty in perspective of losing my mom so I think it's good to remember what I meant by this. Obviously, all family is important and I really feel that I made an effort to see my mom quite a bit in the past year (and of course, I could have gone more too). In the time after her death, I spent about two weeks in LA with the rest of my family - my brothers and my dad and that was very important time too.

So it feels wrong to call this goal family time anymore. I'll have to think about what the right word is so for now, I'll describe what I meant.

In the time just after our wedding, I felt disconnected from a lot of my friends. The ones who were visiting went home and the ones who lived here were busy with their own lives. I had someone tell me this feeling is normal - everything is about you for so long that after the wedding you feel this missing and it's somewhat true - people want to focus on themselves and their other friends for a while. As someone who is really social, this made me feel really sad and lonely, but I was a newlywed and there was no reason to feel this way. Instead of trying to fill all my free time with my friends, why not fill it with my husband? So I decided it was important to carve out some time each week for him and to do something together to build that habit and remember that our marriage and our relationship is so important and needs to last even when friendships are faulty or kids are annoying or any of life's obstacles happen.

The real reason for this goal then, was to strengthen our foundation becuase the time after you get married, things are good, but so much can happen in life. When my mom passed away, I really needed Dan to be there. We had this huge hurdle so early in our marriage and it's effect on me causes strains on a day to day basis. That's why it's important to be strong together when things are good - you need that base to help you when you lose a loved one, when you have kids, or when any other thing that could go wrong, does.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

Before Everything

weight on, stress off

Despite being crazy busy, I still tried to stick to my workout schedule. If I had a free day or my workout partners couldn't make it, I would take a break as well and study. However, I tried to not miss if I didn't have to and believe me, I wanted to some days.

When you are stressed and tired - it's easy to want to drop your routine and just get your shit done but man, did I feel better after working out. One day, I was so close to just not going but I decided to make it a game time decision. I had a shot of coffee and made a smoothie and dressed to go to the gym... and that was enough to get me into it. I went and I had a great workout and it was just the stress relief I needed. Afterwards, I was able to go home and get back to studying with a clearer head.

It may seem counter-intuitive to do more when the thought of how much you have to do in so little time makes your head explode, but taking a break helps your brain reset and having my breaks be something good for me made it feel like it wasn't a waste.

After Everything

The news of my mom passing away was obviously a little shattering. While some people might throw their emotions into working out at a time like this, my muscles all felt like jello. I didn't want to be completely inactive though and went for a walk most days so I was doing some sort of exercise. Can I just say how much I love walking? Even thought my legs were shaky the first few days, it was such a good release. When I walk or run, it's really thinking time for me. I wanted to be sad those first few days and I would walk and I would tear up and it was really therapuedic for me.

By the next week, I was feeling better but we were now days away from our trip and I just couldn't find the time. However, while it Europe, Dan and I walked SO much. According to my watch, we walked about 100 miles in those 2 weeks. Honestly, even though we're in really good shape, my legs hurt by the end of it. If you ever need an excuse to workout - travel. I feel like traveling was so much easier since we were in shape. All the walking, all the stairs, all the hills, all the suitcase lugging - it was so much easier than it could have been. Walking instead of cabbing also saved us money AND helped us justify those extra courses during our cruise ship dinners.  I also hit the gym a couple of times during our "at sea" days but it definitely wasn't up to my usual standards and I know I'll have a lot of work to do now that we're back.

Here are the first of many steps we took to get up to the Campinile in Florence so yea, we weren't really slacking despite being on vacation!

Meal Planning

Before Everything

Meat and veggies!!!

Since Dan and I have crazy fitness goals AND we were going on a vacation that might have some swimsuit time, April felt like a good time to clean up our act. We usually eat pretty healthy but we'd also been stocking up on more ice cream and treats. We decided this would be a good time to rein it in a little and go back to cleaner, meat and vegetable focused meals.

I also saw new clean eating challenge that is being put on by the makers of my favorite fitness class. It started a few days before our trip which felt like not the right time to go on a diet but I think we might try it next month. It also provided me with some new recipes and meal ideas. While we aren't doing it quite yet, I've been trying to steer our meals in that direction and just going crazy with the amount of veggies I'm buying and cooking.

After Everything

Eating is weird when you lose someone. I didn't have an appetite most of the time so I just wouldn't eat and then eventually I would get SUPER hungry and have to eat immediately (while still not having much of an appetite) which led to lots of eating out and fast food. Obviously, if you read this, that's not normal for me. After a few days, this evened out thanks a lot to my brothers. They took charge on the meals and I would pop in to help when they gave me something to do since I wasn't feeling my usual cooking passion.

Not really a meal plan but we ate WELL

I decided to just completely let go of any restrictions while we were in Europe. We were on a cruise and walking so much and the previous weeks had been so hard - I just wanted to enjoy our trip. And I did! We ate so much and so well. We basically had a 4 course meal every night for dinner and amazing lunches while we were in the ports as well. I don't think I've had dessert so many consecutive days before ever.

In the days that we've been back we've been trying to re-adjust to our normal eating. Obviously, it's much lower calorie than we had been eating so I feel like I'm getting hungry all the time. I'm trying to balance between giving in and eating regular meals but I know easing off the sugar and richness from the cruise meals will be an adjustment.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

Before Everything

I have a really bad personality trait - I don't usually trust people to do something for me that I know I can do really well myself. Planning trips is one of those things. There's really only one person I've let take the lead on planning my vacations and she wasn't coming with us on this one (although I did copy her itinerary for a city on our trip that she'd recently been to) so it was up to either me or Dan.... and I had a test to study for. I realized I was going to need Dan's help a lot.

And he did an AMAZING job. His schedule isn't as flexible as mine so he broke up the planning and decided to do a city at a time whenever he had the free time. He did a ton of research and mixed in with some recommendations I got, we went into the last leg of our planning together and made some great lists and maps for our trip.

After Everything

Obviously we took the trip! It's really the biggest trip we've taken as a couple in terms of time gone and distance traveled and stress encountered. I'm happy to report that it did not drive us to an early divorce (although there may have been some jetlag induced squabbling). Really though - it made us think about other trips we want to take and how we want to take them. I'll address this more in another post but we had some thoughts about the best ways to travel that we realized while we were traveling.

Anyways, we both started making lists of trips we want to take and what makes sense to trip to do in the immediate future, what we think we could do with little kids, and what might have to be shelved for a while. I like the idea of having a list of several things we really want to do and here's why: travel costs are so finnicky. One day there might be a deal to India and the next to South America. I think being flexibile and locations and timing could help us go some cool places on a discount. We had a really cool trip to Europe but we wanted to go specific places in a specific timeframe and we paid for it. Our next priority is more "see as much as you can" and we can be more flexible which will allow us to do more.

Read a Book a Week

This one doesn't really make sense to break into before and after... The good news is that this was a mission accomplished. Technically, I only read 4 books but I finished the 5th just after the beginning of May and on vacation, time doesn't really count.

Honestly though, I thought I'd do better here. I had a lot of trouble concentrating on reading just after my mom passed away but the library helped out there. I had a couple of books that had to go back by a certain time and since I was in San Diego so little of the month, I really had to get it done. While on vacation, I didn't finish as many books as I felt like I was reading. I finished two books and am partly through three others (two for one, and one study guide that I abandoned through everything) so maybe that's it also. I'm definitely going to finish my fun books before I dive back into studying though so hopefully I'll have at least 3 books to add for May but really I better do more than that.

And I bet you're wondering why I'm still studying. Wasn't my test planned for last month? Well, yea, it was. It was scheduled for the day after we ended up having my mom's service. That's just about the worst time to take a test. The good news is that it wasn't a firm "once a year" type of exam and I was easily able to push it back a month. I haven't picked up that study guide in the last month since my mom passed away but now that I'm easing off of the jet lag, it's definitely time. It basically gives me a week to get back in the study mind set and then the same week of crunch time that I would have had. I'm definitely having trouble getting back into it and part of me feels like I should push it back some more. Luckily, I always have that option but I really feel like I need to just do this thing.

Me Time

Before Everything

Studying for an exam and planning a huge vacation meant zero me time. It actually meant negative me time. What does that mean? It means I realized there weren't enough hours in the day and decided to make more... by sleeping less. I started setting my alarm an hour earlier, staying up later, and drinking more coffee. I liked to pride myself on getting a full night's sleep, but something has to give when you're trying to do it all.

Actual Picture of me in April

After Everything

I think a cruise is entirely composed of me time. In hindsight, I kind of wish I brought my study guide or some video games or something. There is so much downtime on a cruise, especially without a beverage package. It felt really weird to just relax, but I think I really needed it. I was definitely burning the candle at every end in early April and then that just exploded when my mom died. The little focus I had after that went to planning her service and the rest of my time I just wanted to sleep. The vacation really came at the perfect time to just not have anything I needed to do.

Being back at work and just out of the jetlag, I'm noticing the benefits of taking some time off. In the weeks before I left, issues at work were feeling hazy and I was having trouble wrapping my head around things. Now that I'm back, I'm feeling more creative and ambitious in the way I tackle issues at work. It feels like some time off was exactly what my brain needed.

Unplugged April

Before Everything

I feel like I had been working on a good compromise here. All the time I spent studying really took me away from social media as much as I'd been checking it before. I probably could have separated more though but early in the month was supposed to just be gradually working up to not having cell service on my trip.

After Everything

If I was addicted to my phone before, it really got worse after my mom passed. I did receive a lot of phone calls, texts, and messages which definitely was part of it, but really I just hid in internet world for a while. I found it hard to concentrate on anything serious like reading or studying so the fluffy distracting world of the internet was perfect. I was extra glued to my phone and I needed that escape.

So the trip really was needed even more. I definitely wasn't going to spend the small fortune it would cost to stay connected full time but we did have to ease into it. Almost every cafe in most of Europe has free wifi so our first stop would usually be an espresso and some internet time. It was nice to have to limit our internet to short bursts throughout the day. It also meant I was really just reading texts, messages, and quickly going through emails. Dan and I also found that Facebook and Instagram would download a little bit of the feeds so we could check them when we were bored later on the boat and our likes would send back when we were connected again. It would only do like the top 10 posts but it was nice to kind of save a little bit of it for later.

I don't really feel like I learned anything here though. Once we got internet again, I was as connected as ever. I still feel like I need a lot of distractions and it's still my safe escape. I definitely need to build better habits to disconnect more.

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My Best Me May

This goal had been my plan from the beginning but I think it's more fitting than ever. I think that when you experience a loss, once place to go is to get angry or let yourself fall into bad habits. Luckily, I've never dealt with loss that way. I don't know what happens after we die, and I've always felt the possibility of our loved ones "watching over us." Maybe they are, maybe they aren't, but, just in case, I'd like them to look down and be proud.

This goal was originally meant as more of a way to get back on track after the vacation but it also is fitting that I don't want to lose sight of my goals and the things my mom encouraged me to do. She lived her life SO HARD and I want to keep doing the same. So this goal is really a lot of little goals - passing my test and working on my next projects, training for my races, keeping up with all of my habits, and of course, making my bed each morning (in case Mom is watching).

It might feel that with all my other goals, this one is hard to wrap my head around and I feel that too. Sometimes I feel like it made more sense when my other goals were still on track, but maybe when we get a little off course, we need to remember the goal more than ever. It almost has a "Happiness Project" feel to it - remembering all your past goals as you keep making new ones.

May is also the month I turned 31. Last year, I wrote the post about the 30 things I learned before turning 30 and after this year, I feel like I could write another 30 things I learned in the past year. This is about remembering those lessons and continuing to grow and that's really the goal for May.