32 Years Later

It's been a while since I've written! My Facebook page keeps reminding me that people probably want to hear from me. I've thought of different things to write but when I have a specific topic, I tend to be too busy to write at the time that topic is relevant. When I have a minute, I don't have any timely topics.

Well, it's my birthday and as I take another trip around the sun, it felt like a good time to share where I'm at and update people on life.

I like structure in my blog posts though so I'm going to do some general bullet points that kind of follow my resolution check-ins.

Spartan Trifecta / Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This one has been going great. I already have two of the three races done. The third is in about 3 weeks and I'm getting very excited and anxious about it. It's crazy to work on a goal for so long and have it creep up on you.

In terms of training - it's definitely crunch time now. I've been trying to get as many workouts in as possible and I feel like I'm finally at a place with my fitness that I can do two workouts a day and give both my full effort. I try to listen to my body and take rest days when I can as well but I love the workouts I'm doing and it can be hard to bench myself when I see something fun at bootcamp or new climbs being set up.

It's been really cool to track my progress. I'm lifting heavier, I'm moving faster, I'm climbing better - and sometimes all in the same day. I love workouts that can be quantified and it's great to do things that make it easy to see progress.

My biggest set back has been getting sick. I got the flu 3 times and 2 colds since winter. That's 5 weeks that I was set back from training. Pair that with every day stresses and obstacles to getting to the gym and that's a lot of missed training time. It can also be mentally difficult to want to do something but be physically unable to. It's hard to get back into a routine when it's thrown off like that.

That Getting Sick Thing

After the last flu, I was pretty frustrated. I can't keep getting sick so I started thinking of ways to stop it. I'm obviously getting a flu shot next year. I make sure to wash my hands before leaving the gym and any time I get home from a store. I've been taking vitamins and probiotics. I make Dan do this obsessive hand washing too. I bought anti-bacterial gel to keep in all my bags and wipes to clean my phone frequently. I'm hoping all of this will severely cut back how much I get sick!

One New Etsy Item a Week

This goal has been going so well. I follow a blogger who always says that doing creative things inspires more creativity. It's a self propagating circle. That's really how I feel about these cross stitch patterns. I haven't actually been doing one pattern a week - it's always been at least two and sometimes more. Making one pattern for me has led to other pattern inspirations. I would come up with themes or patterns that fit together as a package.

In the past four months, I've added about 40 new listings to my shop. That's definitely FAR exceeding the one pattern a week goal. I have a huge list of ideas still. For March I made many patterns around Women's History Month. I loved the idea of monthly themes but there were SO MANY great inspirational nerdy women to make into patterns, I carried it through to April. I could probably do it all year but I have a great theme idea for May (May the Force Be With You to finish out my Star Wars Poster series!!!). I love that it inspired so many ideas that I can come back to through out the year.

I still want to find ways to expand my shop to other sites and also include more than just patterns. I've been thinking that selling materials and tools to help with the stitching would be a good next step. Selling physical items will be more work but I feel like people will be more inspired to buy a pattern if some of the harder to find fabrics are in the same spot.

I also made a more Cross Stitch focused name, email account, and Instagram. It's been really cool watching my work translate to more sales. Right now my revenue is also about the same amount that I send to savings through a site called Acorns so it's cool to see that lined up. (Also, Acorns is amazing - let me know if you want to know more or get an invite link!)

Waste Less / Buy Less Stuff

It's definitely much harder to track a goal like this. I hope that I am wasting less but I don't have a good way to measure. I know that I've made a big effort to really plan out the perishables that I'm buying at the store so I'm not throwing away as much food. It definitely pangs a little when I still have to.

A big thing that has helped with the mentality has also been cleaning house. When we moved in, we piled a bunch of things in the garage. Many of those boxes have not been touched since - some not even since we moved from San Francisco! On those rare free weekends, Dan and I have been trying to go through and pare it down. There's a lot of work left to do but at the end of the day, we feel buried under our junk and don't want to add to it. It's helped us spend more money on experiences and less on "stuff."

Another thing that has helped has been letting items sit in my cart. I started doing this just to push off items to the next credit card cycle to make sure my monthly spending was in line. Having a few days or weeks to think about purchases has helped me decide if I want them. Generally, I've ended up only buying things that feel really necessary. The internet is great, but when it's so easy to buy something, it's also easy to get carried away.

Do One Chore a Day

I basically dropped this about one week in. Doing one thing every day can end up being much more stressful than helpful. I found myself putting off doing extra chores on days I wasn't as busy so I had something to do the next day. I would get really overwhelmed on days I was busy or traveling to "fit one more thing in." I often didn't know if something was big enough to qualify as a chore for the day.

I decided a better way to handle it was to help out as much as I could when I could. I liked that mindset a lot better than feeling overwhelmed by a well intentioned goal. If I have a free Saturday, I can knock out a bunch of chores and projects and that feels better than one a day.

I've also used a couple of vacation days to match with some of Dan's comped days off. It's nice to both have a week day to just tackle projects. As nice as it is to take a day off for a vacation, sometimes that just builds the stress of maintaining a house. On one of these days, we did a nice landscaping project and added a bunch of fruit trees to our yard. Technically, the end result has been one more chore for me to do, but I find checking the plants each day and the watering schedule to be really therapeutic.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

It's just after tax season which means we have money for a vacation!!! Like the rest of our lives, the vacation is planned around our Spartan Race! It's the week after our race and I've begun referring to it as our SpartanMoon. We are doing a relaxing cruise in the Caribbean. Unlike our cruise last year, we're going to be lighter on the sightseeing (just one little excursion or beach time in each port) and enjoy the activities on the boat more. We obviously did as much as we could on the boat last time but a summer Caribbean cruise just offers so many more activities and I know it will be the right kind of fun, relaxing trip we'll want as our reward for reaching our goals.

Weekly Doggy Walk/Hike/Run

We've been really good about this! I'm sure we've missed some weeks but even when we can't do it as a family, I try to take Harley for a run or walk on my own.

In general, hikes are our favorite. In the lead up to our race, we've been trying to do some that are more challenging, including multiple hikes at a time. There's always the worry that it might be too much for the dog (and we would definitely quit and carry her back to the car if it was), but usually she's in better shape at the end of a hike than we are.

Weekly Date

I'm not sure we've made a good active effort to go on an actual date every week. We have been getting out more together. Sometimes it's to dinner or to go do something. However, sometimes it's just working out together. A friend told me once that couples that work out together stay together longer. I don't know if it's true but I like the sentiment. Dan and I both are pretty serious when we workout but when he's at the gym with me, I like to be more silly and make faces at him which is more fun for me at least. We also take fun pictures after class of us playing on the equipment and they turn out pretty cute. Maybe after the race, we'll do more actual dates... in addition to the gym.

Me Time

It's also always been important to focus on myself. I'm going to roll this together with my reading goals because I realized last year that reading really is "me time." A lot of times I'm just trying to grab a few pages when I can but I love when I have an afternoon off and good book and I can just read for a few hours.

I've also been using more of my free time to complete my own cross stitching. In the past, it's taken me almost a year to complete a page of stitching. Now it's more like 1-3 months and I'm learning more tricks to speed it up and increase my quality.

I also just love taking care of my house and going on walks with Harley. It's amazing how my appreciation for the simple things in life increases as I get older. I've been enjoying going out less and less. Really, my ideal time is a some wine with a small group, Dan, or even just myself.

And Everything Else

In general, life is just really good. 2017 was a really hard year for me and in hindsight, I was probably depressed from the loss of my mom and a couple of friendships. I'm in such a better place now and even though I still get sad or lonely sometimes, I have the tools to work through it better. I've made more friends and joined a gym that feels like it's becoming a real community for me. I pushed through a lot of my issues last year by pushing myself to do things that challenged me and gave me a sense of accomplishment. That helped me be better with other people as well.

It's also put me in a place where I just don't have any room for negativity or meanness. Just because I'm in a good place now, doesn't mean I'm not hurt by people, frustrated by negative experiences, and set back by bad days. Instead I try to cut out the crap and look over the road block to continue to focus on what I can do to grow.

I often have people ask how I do so much or tell me I'm lucky or wonder how I stay motivated. Personally, I'm very goal oriented. This blog is a part of that. I started sharing my new years resolutions about 10 years ago (WOW WHERE DOES THE TIME GO??!?!!) as a way to feel accountable and stick to my goals. Generally, I accomplish maybe 70-80% of what I set out to do. To me, that's room to grow, but I also know that I'm 70-80% better than how I started out the year. The best thing I can say is to find the thing that motivates you, keep yourself accountable, make lists, tell people what your goals are so they can cheer you on and keep you on track. Join groups or meet ups that align with your goals. Follow motivating people on social media. Lean into friendships that support you and have like minded views. Lean away from people who bring you down and drain you.

So that's all for now. Just a collection of thoughts about where I am right now. If you're a reader I don't see often, I hope you appreciated the update and if you're a reader who just likes my blog and what I'm doing, I hope you continue to find my stuff interesting! I definitely have some ideas for posts but it's been so hard to find time to write with the work and and all these things I'm trying to do.

Side note: After writing this, I went back and read some of my other Resolution posts. It's funny how so many things I wanted to work on over time (and didn't always get right) are such an integral part of my life now (One was to workout twice a week. I'm working out twice day no! I laughed a little at that one). Some of it is through concentrated effort but a lot of it is just being in the right place and the right time with the right support. It's got me thinking of another post idea that gets at the heart of it. Food for thought!!

Nailed it!

Why I Run Obstacle Races

This is the first in a multi-part series about Obstacle Course Racing.

Oh you were expecting the 2017 look back I promised? Yea, me too, but that hasn't been what I felt like writing so here's this instead!

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you know I've been doing a lot of obstacle races lately. It's almost like that's my whole life right now.

WELL IT IS.

But why? Why has this been the sole focus on my 2018 and many prior years leading up to this?

Well, Obstacle Racing has always been the whole point. Finishing the Trifecta is my main Resolution this year. It also was in 2015 but I wasn't able to get it done. Frankly, I didn't have the right tools or focus to even try, but it's something I've been thinking about and building towards for a long time. Everything I've done fitness-wise has been for that goal.

I don't even think those are real running shoes

It all started after I joined the climbing gym. While the gym had some competitions, they were more on a fun level and involved self reporting that was easy to fake. I loved them but I wanted something more. I've always been an ok climber so I thought about how I could apply that to something else. Around the same time, obstacle racing started blowing up. I knew what I had to do.

I did my first obstacle race 5 years ago. Like almost exactly 5 years to the day. The race was for women only and obstacle wise was really easy... but I struggled to run the 5k distance. My friends were great sports and kept running back to check on me but it was embarrassing to get out of breath so easily. I realized that if I wanted to do more of these, I had to get better at running.

I hate running.

Photo Ops: an excuse to take a break from running

It might seem weird for someone who does so many races, including 4 half marathons, but I can't stand running. I've only ever signed up for running races to make sure I trained my running... in order to do obstacle races. I started with 5ks and when those got easy I moved to 10ks. Those are still a challenge for me but I moved onto half marathons anyways. Really though, 10k is my running distance sweet spot - it's long enough to be challenging for me but not so long that I'm miserable at the end like the half marathons. I have room to improve and it feels doable.

Wait, but you did 4 Half Marathons?

Right? I never wanted to do a half marathon. I didn't think it would build character. I didn't want to do the training groups my friends signed up for. I didn't want to run 13.1 miles... but the longest Trifecta race is 12-14 miles. I needed to be able to do that if I wanted to get the Trifecta. So I signed up for a Half Marathon and I trained and I did it three more times. Even though they took me forever and the training was my whole life, I did them and I get that knowledge that it's something I'm capable of doing.

Not here for the running

Ok so why now?

The Trifecta has been a bucket list item for me for so long. It was something I kept putting off. The cost of the races and the time I would need to put into training felt like too much. It felt like something I could always do later while also knowing that my life would only keep getting busier in years to come.

The past year has been full of changes for me. 2017 was really rough personally. I hit some of my lowest points emotionally. Exercise was the way I got myself out. Challenging myself to work out more and more helped get me out of the depression I was facing. Seeing myself complete local obstacle races with faster and faster times showed me that I might really have something here. Joining a local gym that had the right training and a motivating community was the final push to put me in the right place to go for the thing I've always wanted to do.

I hit a wall and I climbed over it

Being Uncomfortable

So Uncomfortable

Having completed 2 of the 3 Trifecta races has given me a lot of time to think about why I do this. The 4 hours I was running those courses were full of contemplation... specifically "Why am I putting myself through this?"

The owner of our gym likes to say that Spartan races make him uncomfortable. Obviously running a 5-8 mile race on a windy and dry Southern California day with numerous obstacles in your path is uncomfortable. You're dirty, you're probably cut up and growing some bruises. You're getting hungry and definitely thirsty. At some point you might think "I'm over this."

But you're getting through it, aren't you? It's not easy but you're doing it and you're doing alright. You're passing people. You flew through that last obstacle. You messed up the spear throw but those were the fastest 30 burpees you've ever done. Your knees are bleeding. You finished a troublesome obstacle for the first time. The guy next to you just kicked you going over a wall. But now you're finished!!!

And that's the thing... you win and you lose along the course. Some things go well and some things don't, but you get through it.

...but smiling anyways

You know what else that sounds like? 

It sounds a lot like life.

Things don't always go the way you want them to. That used to drive me crazy. I've been notorious for getting upset at things easily. At some point recently, that's really melted away. 2017 was a hard year. I lost my mom. I lost two friendships I thought would be lifelong. I lost my self esteem. All those things were really hard to deal with, but I survived them. It made me realize that the little things aren't worth getting upset over.

It's the same with obstacle racing. You might scrape your leg on the first obstacle. Well that stinks but you still have several miles and dozens of obstacles to go. If you get upset about this now, you won't make it through. You need to save that energy for the big things. In one of my races, I got a horrible cramp in my leg with half a mile left to go. That's the kind of thing that can take you out of a race. Dan helped rub out my leg and I limped the rest of the way and I finished because I was not about to let my stupid leg stop me.

Obstacle racing and the training leading up to it has changed everything. Being physically uncomfortable makes it easier to be mentally uncomfortable. Also, you just feel like a bad-ass when you accomplish these things. Someone posted recently that if you're unhappy at the beginning of a journey, you won't be happy at the end. That hasn't been true at all. I was at my lowest the first half of 2017. My journey isn't over but I feel like a different person.

Ready to sign up? Great! Stay tuned for Part Two: So You've Signed Up for an Obstacle Race.

Detox December - Update #12

Better late than never!!! I wanted to send this a couple of weeks ago but flu and life happened and I lost track of it! I actually have a lot of posts I wanted to write - I wanted to do a whole year look back on each of goals so hopefully I can get to it while it's still relevant.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

December was SO FULL of family time. We had Dan's sister and mom visit us for about about 9 days. Closer to Christmas my Dad came down for 4 as well so we each had a sibling and a parent in San Diego.

That means so many family things!!! My favorite was the boating trip that my brother organized. He rented a speed boat and took all of us around San Diego Bay with a stop in Coronado for lunch. 

Family includes just Dan, the pets, and I as well. We started one of my 2018 resolutions and took Harley for her first weekly run or hike. She loved it and so did we. We're so excited to have that piece of time to spend together and be healthy each week. That still leaves out Callie but our horribly insulated house meant lots of couch cuddles with all four us curled up under blankets. I love our little human animal family and I'm happy for all the sweet memories we have.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

First day back after the holidays!

So many wins and losses with this. The truth is, I started both December and January with the flu/cold beast that going around. I don't mess around when I'm sick so that meant a lot of time in bed and out of the gym. Family in town didn't help things either.

I know what this sounds like - excuses, excuses, excuses. And they are. They're ones out of my control but trust me, I was frustrated too.

The last week of December, post guests and pre sickness part 2, I had the workout schedule of my dreams (well goals.... who dreams of work outs? I mean, I did have a dream that Dan and I were doing an obstacle race last night BUT I DIGRESS) - two a day workouts either in the gym or at home. Yea, it's a rough goal but it's what I need to knock out that Spartan resolution and I've found enough workouts that I really enjoy to make it a fun process.

I've started taking more vitamins and drinking a little less in order to help this goal out more starting in January and... so far I feel amazing! It seems like getting sick so much was a side effect of not getting enough vitamins either because I'm too active or my gut health was messed up and I wasn't absorbing it. I'm like a vitamin preacher now because my mood, energy, and health hasn't felt this good in ages and I'm so ready to conquer my goals.

A new fun way to work out at home too! (thanks Dan)

Meal Planning

Chili secret - double meat, double spices,
ton of hidden veggies!

Without even noticing, I got into such a good rhythym with this. I'd get some ideas for food I felt like, make a shopping list for a few dinners and general things I like to keep in stock and then knock them out through out the week. I went from not feeling like I was doing this goal well to doing it without thinking which is perfect!

Good timing too - Having so many visitors and holidays meant really having to be organized. I try to think of things to make that are delicious, healthy, and might even be enjoyable for the pickiest of eaters. I know the parents really enjoyed a lot of the dishes I made and it makes me happy to share my cooking.

I also got to plan out Christmas Eve dinner! We had so much meat which also meant lots of leftovers and less cooking in the wake of our busy Ides of December. Sometimes my favorite way to plan meals... is just to make so much food that I have leftovers for days and don't have to worry about it. 

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

I'm still keeping my eyes peeled for next year's big trip! We want to get a deal and a lot of it will depend on our tax return so we'll have to wait and see....

But I'm really excited for our little trips. We don't have anything set right now but with only a few weddings in 2018, all within driving distance - we have some room in our time and money budgets to go on some more weekend trips. We definitely want to visit the Bay Area a couple of times this year. We've also been promising my brother in Seattle that we'll make it up there some time. Lastly, I think I'm finally recovered from my trip to Vegas 5 years ago and would love to go again some time this year. So many little trips to look forward to even if we're still figuring out the big one.

Read a Book a Week

If you remember from November, I'd already hit my goal of 52 books for the year so I could have sat back in December, not read anything, and called it a day.

Well, that's not my style.

I kept up my reading and was able to finish another 5 books in December. Honestly though.. I had thought it was more like 7. Some of these novels like Turtles All the Way Down and Warcross were such quick reads for me that I know I finished in a couple of days. I guess they were balanced out by Lincoln in the Bardo and Eleanor Oliphant which were very different books that were harder to just knock out. Plus, being sick always makes it hard for me to do anything, even read. I try to do that instead of watching TV but I usually go for the more mindless option. 

Me Time

I guess here's the problem with writing this over two weeks after the fact... it's harder to remember the month. I've looked through the pictures, I've thought back on the month, and I can't remember if I had any me time. I'm going to go with... probably not. December is crazy busy for everyone. I was sick, we had our workouts, we had 2-3 people staying with us at one point, there was Christmas, I hosted Christmas Eve.

It was a lot. Maybe that's why I thought I'd read more books that I had? All my free time probably was reading... I just didn't have that much of it. 

Detox December

This goal very quickly went by the wayside. I got sick a couple of days into the month and getting sick for me means ordering a bunch of take out and laying in my bed cave. It's definitely not 80/20 paleo! To be fair though, I at least wasn't drinking that week... but I came back from it with a vengeance - having several drinks every day and pushing my limits on the weekends. 

Coming out of the holidays, I leveled out a bit. I wanted to make our post-Christmas week the December that I'd intended. I did my two a day workouts, I didn't drink during the week, and I made us healthier dinners... and I was back in bed with the flu and Indian food the next week.

It's funny how that's happened.. the week after Thanksgiving and Christmas were the only ones I met my goals on and they were followed by getting sick. The timing is so odd being that little bit healthier didn't really help much. It showed me that maybe my lifestyle isn't really the issue and there's something else going on. As I mentioned earlier, I started taking a lot of vitamins and probiotics in order to get my immune system under control so I can focus on my goals better.

And I think it's working! Aside from that first sick week in January, things are looking good. I've been better about working out 1-2 times a day and trying to go on walks or do something easy the other days. I've been great about sticking to 1 glass of wine a day and frankly - I usually don't feel like more. January is going really well so far.

And that's a wrap for December 2017! I definitely want to do a look back on all the individual goals but until then, you can see what I have in store for 2018.

2018 New Year Resolutions

Last year's habits went so well. I finished the year feeling really good about where things were. I had built up a lot of the habits that I'd wanted to work on. Instead of making a resolution, which feels like a one time change, I wanted to strengthen every day occurrences to make my life better and fuller. Even the one off monthly goals went great and added extra things to think about and work on over the year.

It worked out so well, that at this time, I don't feel like there are many habits to add to my life at this time. I know as my life and responsibilities grow and change, I can find room for new habits, but right now things look really good.

On the flip side though, there are more one off things I'd like to work on.... so it's back to resolutions!!!

Spartan Trifecta

This is my BIG goal for the year. I think it actually showed up on an older resolution list but it ended up not working out. This year, Dan and I are already signed up. We have all the resources to train - we just have to do it! The first two races are at the end of this month and the last (and longest) is in May. That means this will be done mid-way through the year if all goes well! That's why I had to line up some other goals...


But first... what are my fears or concerns? First, it's going to be hard. I know I can do a Sprint but those were always a challenge as it was. The first two races are back to back - the Super on Saturday (8-10 miles) with the Sprint (3-5 miles) on Sunday. I'm not worried about the Sprint but the Super scares me. I don't like running long distances and that has obstacles on top. I'm actually less worried about the Beast (12-14 miles) in May because I have so much time to train.

My second feel is my immune system. I'm on my second cold/flu in a month as I write this. That's 2 weeks I've taken out of my training which makes the January dates even scarier. It also means getting sick isn't a preventative for another cold. I'd be so bummed if I got sick right before a race and had to postpone. I started stocking up on essential oils and probiotics. I need to change my routine and stay healthy so I can do this.

One New Etsy Item a Week

My Etsy shop thrived last year. I did a job of adding a bunch of listings, including some hot trends (THANK YOU PORGS). I made 60% of my all time income in the last year. I doubled what I made in 2016. These aren't huge numbers or anything but it's still a growing business.

Obviously, the key to growing the business is keep adding products! Since it's all downloads, having a lot of stock doesn't add too much work for me. I just have to do it. Extra items also drives a lot of traffic to my shop because people find it through search terms and buy something else.

Grow My Etsy Business to Amazon

I found out a few weeks ago that Amazon has an Etsy-like off-shoot for homemade and artisan products. I wasn't sure my patterns would fit but... they had some! I'd love to list my items there as well but it will take some set up. I'll need an actual business name and maybe some other set up. I definitely want to look into it.

Change My Name

I still haven't changed my name legally since getting married. It's just seemed like a lot of work and there was no need yet. I just need to start filling out the paperwork and get it done though.

Waste Less

I feel like I always have one vague, untrackable goal. This one is just to waste less. It's definitely a follow up from the meal planning goal from last time. I think if I'm smart about grocery shopping and thinking about what we need and will actually eat, we'll waste less food. We'll also spend less money.

This applies to more than food too! In general, I've been trying to buy fewer non-consumable goods. We don't have room in our house for more junk so only buying things we really want or need has saved money and space. I rent my clothes, I borrow books, I stream movies - I don't need to buy these things as much.

Re-Coop Real Estate Expenses

Real Estate didn't really go the way I expected. I'm toning down my involvement this year because there are just too many expenses just to exist as an agent. I'm not totally out of the game though. I still have my license and a relationship with my broker. I can still be involved indirectly and help out friends looking for a place. I'd love to still get a deal under my belt which would help me at least break even with everything I spent getting my license.

Do One Chore a Day

This is a big change for me! Aside from cooking, I hate doing chores. I'm not a neat person and I'm allergic to doing dishes. The only thing that I can tolerate is laundry (warm clothes and my favorite tops clean!) and vacuuming (we have like 40 sq ft of carpet).

However... I found that when guests visit, I was much more successful if I started cleaning a week out and did a little bit each day. I noticed chores didn't really take that long if you did a little at a time instead of one big day of cleaning that can be overwhelming.

Chores are the best when you don't let them get out of hand in the first place! The goal is to do some little thing every day to keep up with chores. Whether it's laundry (yay!) or cleaning the bathroom (ick!), chipping away at it here and there will keep our house looking nice all the time, instead of just rushing to clean before we have people visit.

(so obviously cooking isn't counted as a chore for this)

Weekly Doggy Walk/Hike/Run

Straight forward - a hike or run with doggy and Dan! We've already started this by doing laps around Fiesta Island. Doggy gets to play and we get to train for our races. The plan is to start with Fiesta Island and once we've mastered that, maybe we can move onto some of the tougher San Diego hikes. We all get our exercise and everyone is happy.

Weekly Date

And also something for just us... Dan and I are great about spending time together, but I think a weekly date is a great idea too. A lot of our gifts lately have been Groupons so it would be good to make sure we use them! I also got us Movie Passes so in a pinch, spending the evening at a movie is good. I just think it's important to do things together outside of the house.

Secret Goal

Every year I have one goal that I'm not quite ready to share. Some things are better as surprises until they're ready.




Whew, so that feels like a lot! A lot of the goals fit together though. Taking the dog for a weekly run will help me train for my races. Doing one chore a day will help minimize stress so I can work on the other goals. They all fit into my secret goal. I'm not resting on my laurels in 2018 but I'm also not reaching for anything crazy. All these are really reasonable goals that have either been bucket list items or things I've already found some success in. I'm excited to push them to the next level.

I'll be back soon with my December 2017 post as well as some follow ups on my goals!

No Excuses November - Update #11

How are we 11 months down in 2017? Doesn't it feel like April was 100 years long and November was 5 minutes long and now this year is almost done? That's the trouble with these goals some times - I have no concept of time. It feels like the more I do, the faster time goes and suddenly a month has passed.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

Thanksgiving is obviously family time. With the passing of my mom, my family wanted to make sure we spent it together. We hosted a small dinner at my dad's house and made sure we all came into town to spend it together. It was definitely odd without her there. My mom was so opinionated, I kept wondering what she would say about the table cloth I picked out and wondered if I was doing it all the way she would have wanted. We had a little remembrance for her before dinner as well which definitely was emotional. 

The day after, my whole family went to the Cal vs. UCLA game. While I wish the football went better, it was fun to do something with all of us. I also got to catch up with some friends at a tailgate beforehand. I think one of the best things about being an adult is enjoying things like this with your family more than you did when you were a kid. Also, teaching your dad how to take selfies. 

Dan and I also started picking up family hikes again! Since we don't have a gym in LA, a pre-turkey hike seemed like a great workout. Too bad it was 90 degrees out.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

Man, I tried so hard with this one, but it's been hard to get back in that rhythm. As part of No Excuses November, I tried to be really picky about what kept me out of the gym. Was I not going because I was lazy or did I have a good reason? Usually it was because I was sore or work ran away from me which felt fair. I also got the flu the last week and I feel safe saying NO ONE wants a sick contagious person at the gym with them.

There were still a couple of times where I probably could have gone but didn't so those times I made sure I was still being very productive by cleaning the whole house or tackling some other project I'd put off.

Dan and I did start bringing back the weekly hikes though. I also have been trying to do more runs. I got a PR in a 10k this month and it made me really want to get my time under an hour. I definitely have a lot of drive to keep this goal going so let's hope December is when I really nail it.

Meal Planning

At the end of the month, I started to try to clean up our eating. I was feeling super bloated after several big eating events around Thanksgiving. It's been fun to look through the Whole30 recipes and try to think of some new, fun, healthy dishes. We'll get to it later but except more of this next month!

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

I was hoping we'd find some awesome Black Friday deal to kick off planning for next year but no luck yet. I think we'll just have to wait until our tax returns come and hope we find some awesome last minute deal. We're signed up for a lot of races next year and I'm hoping we can go on our trip after our last one as a reward for our hard work.

Read a Book a Week

I destroyed this goal. With EIGHT books in November, it was more like 2 a week. I've also surpassed my 52 books for the year and now everything is surplus (yes, I don't stop just because I hit my number - right now I'm at 54 books). P.S. Part of my secret is audio books. I listened to two of the eight this month which definitely helped.

It also set me up to be able to vote better for the Goodreads awards. I still got annoyed that many of the books that won were voted on because of the author or hype and not because people liked it. Example? Artemis won for sci-fi... it came out in the middle of the voting. Andy Weir is a great author but you know 52,000 people didn't read that book in the two weeks they had to vote after it came out. I'd love if they re-vamped it so voting was in early January for the year before. There were also some winners of books that weren't good... because again, the author has other good books. I wish people would just refrain from voting if they haven't read the book. Lower voter turnout might encourage Goodreads to fix the voting.

My favorites for the year so far are Little Fires Everywhere, Turtles All the Way Down, and All Our Wrong Todays. 

Me Time

I don't even know if I had free time last month. I feel like all of my free time was spent reading. I want to say I'm a little over books but so far I'm on my second book in December and both have been ones I don't want to put down.

While I like to argue that reading time and "me" time are separate, they definitely haven't been. I think that's the difference of reading before bed or while I'm waiting and reading because I'm really into a book. So anyways - I obviously carved out a lot of time for reading last month and that felt like my time when I liked the books. 

No Excuses November

So how about that month goal? For me, the hardest part was defining it. Obviously, I can't do EVERYTHING and excuses come into play when you're choosing between things to do. I decided that instead of the goal being "never make an excuse" it was to think about what I was choosing between. Was I not something because I didn't want to or was being lazy? Or was I doing something more important instead? It really made me focus more on the trade offs and what's possible with the limited amount of time we have.

I joked earlier that November was 5 minutes long. I really feel like 95% of the time, I made the most of my time this month and I still fell really short of being able to do everything I wanted to. It really helped me clear up some issues I've had with trying to do more than I possibly could and feeling deflated over it. Figuring that out and prioritizing the other things I'm more invested in, lifted a lot of burdens for me.

- Fitness! I still would like to put more time here. Dan and I are signed up for some really hard races next year and that's going to mean carving out more and more time to train. I definitely didn't put as much work here as I wanted to but I understand that it's a place I want and need to focus on so I can find success.

- Chores! This one went from zero attention to a lot. It was a good place for me to put my time when I was procrastinating. Didn't make the gym? Well, you better clean the house then! It helped me stayed ahead of chores, organize the house more, and tackle a lot of projects I've put off like cleaning my office or the garage. I saw that doing a little bit each day was way better than letting it pile up into a huge mess that was harder to do all at once.

- Real Estate and Etsy! These areas took a big hit. Even when I tried to carve out time, there was always something else coming up. Thinking about what my goals are for next year, I see these continuing to take a back seat.

- Friends! I don't feel like this month was particularly outgoing in terms of seeing friends like last month but I did host a party and saw people a lot. I think in the midst of November going by so fast, nothing really feels like I gave it enough time.

So that's how November went. It definitely sped by and I feel like I didn't accomplish nearly as much as I wanted to.

Detox December

This goal was so glaringly obvious to me coming out of November. The third week of this month is a big eating week for most people. As always, I took it a step too far. We had 5 days in a week period that revolved around excessive eating and by the end of it, it just felt really ridiculous. After the last day, I went to Costco and bought like 6 kinds of lettuce with the plan to go Whole30 4-5 days a week. I'd still be eating clean the other days but I'd allow myself a little more flexibility and some wine.

And then I got the flu. I just wanted easy food  because getting out of bed to cook felt impossible. It through this whole plan in the trash a few days after started. By the time I felt better, I had a fridge full of rotten lettuce.

It made me realize that not only is eating tons of salad a little hard - it's really not what you feel like when it's colder outside and you're busy or not feeling well. So the new plan is a little different. I still want to try to eat mostly clean and fit in a lot of salads. There's just no structure or goal around it. It's still December after all and I think just going for a general 80/20 healthy eating plan is a good goal to end the year.

Obviously, the holidays are tough on healthy eating. There are too many goodies and parties. I'm a strong believer that turning down too many fun treats ends up being worse for your overall happiness and fitness goals. It's better to learn how to moderate, and this goal encompasses that.

It also sets me up for future goals. I'm definitely thinking about my plans for next year and I've realized that a lot of these monthly goals fit into my big one for next year. This just further puts in those building blocks to get ready for 2018.

Outgoing Octopus October - 2017 Update #10

This month was about getting back on track. The migraines and neck pain I experienced in September really threw me off my goals and all the progress I'd made in August. Luckily, I was able to get those under control by improving my posture while working and recognizing my migraine triggers. Good thing too - October had A LOT going on... so let's get to it.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

So much of this month was spent with family. Traveling home for a wedding for each of our families meant a lot of time spent with those we love. There's also just something about weddings that brings out so much magic and joy.

I had such a great time getting to know Dan's family better as well. It's the first time we've seen them since our own wedding and now, a year later, it's really sunk in that this is my family too. It was also really great to meet a lot of the extended family that had liked our big life event Facebook posts. 

Lastly, it was our one year wedding anniversary! I can and can't believe it's been a year. It's somehow managed to be long and fast at the same time. I've had some big life hurdles this year and I'm so lucky to have someone like Dan by my side to get through them. It definitely would have been a much harder year than it was. On a lighter note... obviously that was a date night for us! Otherwise, we have been so busy it's been hard to have time for just the two of us. It's definitely something to work on as we close out the year. 

It's also cool enough now to bring back the family walks! There are so many hikes we didn't do before it got too hot. I'm hoping to knock some of those out before we end this year. 

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

my outdoor gym!

This one really peaked in August and hasn't gotten back to that level. I was averaging 7-10 workouts a week that month. Now it's like 3. I really hit a wall after my migraine in September. It took me two weeks to really bounce back from the after effects. I felt a couple of other migraines coming on in October but now that I could read the symptoms I was able to take some medicine and hide in darkness which stopped them from getting really bad. The break from my fitness schedule did it's damage though and it was hard to get into the same rhythm (the cold Dan brought home didn't help either)...

But no excuses! November is all about fixing that (we'll get there later). I always have an idea of my next goal at the end of the month before and knowing that I wanted to tackle this again in November helped me end October strong. Even though we were on the other side of the country the last week of the month, we managed to get into the gym one day and go on a long hike another. We probably could have done more but it was already more of an effort that we usually make on trips.

Meal Planning

Crock pot Gourmet

It's funny how this has actually started to feel more natural as I've made myself busier. Part of the month goal involved me inviting friends over a little more. Generally it was an extension of meeting them at the gym or something. I didn't want to get home from a workout and then have to worry about cooking and not getting to socialize so I planned out slow cooker meals that I could set up ahead of time. It meant food was ready after our workout AND I got to talk to my friends instead of hiding in the kitchen. It's definitely made me want to use that strategy more. It will also be nice now that it's getting cooler and a lot of soups can be made easily in the slow cooker.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

This month actually had us going on two mini trips - one to each of our families for weddings. While driving to LA is no big feat, going out to Ohio is something we really haven't done enough of. We've had a crazy couple of years since our last trip but part of the reason was also that the first trip wasn't great for me. I had been sick the whole week and paired with the 20 degree weather, I just always felt freezing and cooped up inside.

This past trip was much better. It was twice as warm and 40-50 degrees was something I could deal with a little better. We went on a long hike through some of the most gorgeous nature I'd ever seen. We were also there for his sister's wedding so I was able to meet a lot of the family members that weren't able to make the trip for our wedding. Lastly, it was just nice to spend more time with his family. With the loss of my mom, I ache for those connections more and getting to bond with them was something that felt really nice. I'm excited to have them come out to California again soon and it won't be another 3 years until we go out to Ohio again.

Read a Book a Week

I crushed it this month! While I did read 2 books just on the Ohio trip alone (so much airplane time!), I was already ahead for the month before that. It feels awesome to get a lead again. Focusing on fun, quick reads like I wanted to helped a lot. I also chipped away at an audiobook during my driving and I plan on continuing that habit. I was going to use this lead on my goal as an opportunity to start reading books that I've been interested in but were worried would take longer... and then I remembered it's my favorite book time of the year!

I use Goodreads to track all of my reading, make challenges, and create those cool little lists that I post here each month. One of my favorite things about the site though are their annual Goodreads awards. I always try to read as many of the books as possible which is pretty tough in the 4 weeks of voting. This year I tried keeping track of 2017 books as they were coming out. It means I've already read 5 of the books... which unfortunately is about how many I get anyways without trying.

Oh well! I've already made my library lists so now it's all about getting as many more read as possible so I can vote accurately! If I can hit 7 books again this month, I'll definitely feel good about my votes. 

Nominees!!!!! 

Me Time

Me time has always been an odd goal for me. I love being around people and working from home gets a little lonely sometimes but despite that I still feel like sometimes I just need me space. Even though I work from home, I'm still working so it's not it's time to just unwind from everything else I have going on.

This month was a lot about knowing when to push for the "Outgoing" goal and when to just say no because I need that break from everything. I think it went really well. I tried really hard to find a balance. I fit more friend time into week days so that I could save some weekend time for me. I tried to not book things on back to back days so that I could have a break if I needed.

I also used that free time a little more productively. Obviously I read a lot. I also worked on my Etsy shop so there are more listings. Lastly, I made some big strides on my cross stitch. I'd love to give it to Dan for our 2nd Anniversary (cotton) but it's FAR from done.

Outgoing Octopus October

My original plan was to make a list of 8 things I did to be more outgoing this month. I quickly realized that would be weird. I don't want people to think I'm doing things for a list or a little goal. The point was more about building habits that strengthen friendships and help me make new ones.

So instead, I'm going to generally talk about the types of things I did.

For starters, I made an effort to be there more. I think we've all been in situations where we're casually invited to things. Little things like "Who wants to grab a drink tonight?" I said yes more to those... and it made me realize how many times I don't show up. It feels little but it adds up to missing out on a lot. While it was only a couple more instances of saying yes... they were really fun times that I would have missed out on because it was too far of a drive or I wanted to stay in.

I also tried to make more of my communities. I'm in some group chats. I went to a big college and small high school that have a lot of alumni in San Diego. I'm a member of 3 gyms. I have a whole additional family in law that I acquired a year ago. I used these connections more to socialize whether it was going to alumni events, gym events, or just being friendlier and joking around more with all of the above.

Lastly, it was a lot about just deepening relationships I already have. Sometimes when I'm feeling sad or left out I think "maybe I just need to make new friends." That's a horrible attitude. Friendships go both ways and while I hate feeling like I'm always the one to instigate plans, I know I need to sometimes. I invited friends out and over more than I had been. It reminded me that this is something I used to do ALL THE TIME. And then I stopped. I forgot how much I liked doing it. It reminded me that it's important for me to make the effort to maintain my friendships as well.

This was all exactly what I needed this month. I think it was the perfect timing too. I had a lot of hurt and heartbreak in the past year and it really affected me. In hindsight, I was probably a little depressed about all of it. Because I'm generally really positive, it was hard to see that I wasn't being as friendly or making the same kind of effort to show up and make plans because I was hurt. I was afraid of rejection. I had all these walls up that are so unlike me. If I had tried this  6 months ago, it would have been hard to overcome all of that doubt. This timing was better though because I'd built up my confidence more through my exercise, my goals, my amazingly supportive husband, and those great friends that always reached out to me even if I wasn't making the effort.

It feels good to feel like I'm more myself and I'm happy I was in a place to even start this month's goal. The fact that it went so well puts me in a good spot to keep it up and stay in a great place.

No Excuses November

Part of the delay in posting this, was figuring out the best way to wrap my head around this goal. It's a combination of things and it's not entirely clear to me either.

So... I think the best way to sum it up is that this month is about doing things when you're able to instead of putting them off. It's kind of a combination of several of the past months goals. There's a few specific areas I want to focus on:

- Fitness! Of course. It's not a total coincidence that our new gym is called No Excuses PT. The last two months have been very excuse filled for me. I had migraines, a cold, and traveling. While I take my health seriously, I definitley milked those excuses for what they were worth. Not ok. Even if I'm not feeling great I still should do something small like take the dog for a walk or doing a home workout.

- Chores! I'm the worst at chores that aren't cooking. I want to get better at just doing them before they get worse and take longer.

- Real Estate and Etsy! Making more of an effort to do outreach and build my businesses.

- Friends! Keeping up with last month, I don't want to just make excuses for not doing things. I know I can't do everything but I want to try to be there when I can.

The point is... I can always find a reason to not do something so maybe it's time to find reasons TO do them instead. This week, for example, I've been feeling sluggish. While I still made time for climbing and walking the dog, I thought about not going to the bootcamp gym. My excuse was resting for a 10k I'm doing this weekend.... but that's not a great reason. It's not like I've been training for this race anyways and today's workout had very little leg in it. I decided to just go and in the end, it gave me that energy boost I'd been missing most of the week.

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That's it for this month! November is looking to be as busy as October was but I'm not going to let that distract me from goals and getting things done. One week in, I've already managed to knock out a lot in terms of my fitness, cooking experiments, and making time for friends. Now if I can round out the business side of things, this will be an awesome month.

Steady September 2017 - Update #9

Wow, I feel like I totally lost track of this month. I was looking at my browser and saw the Blogger tab and thought, "I should probably start writing the September post even though the month ends in... 2 DAYS? Wait, really? How are there only two days left??" Crazy fast month.

Anyways, this post is a little late. I've been dealing with some neck issues that have really affected all the areas of my life below and blog writing. This post is going to be a little shorter because of it but hopefully I'll bounce back this month.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

We luckily started the month with a long weekend out of town. We got to spend a lot of time eating out together (which is something we don't do much) and also got to see a lot of friends. It was awesome to spend the weekend on a relaxing note.

We've also been trying to go to the gym together more. Normally, I like to go when it's less busy but my schedule didn't allow that this week. The plus side was getting to go at the same time as Dan. I've heard that working out together is a great way to strengthen a relationship and I'm happy we get to do that.

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This started out so well - coming out of Athletic August into a new month, I had great habits set up. Even when I didn't really want to work out, I knew I'd feel good afterwards so went anyways. It was great!

Around the 3rd week of the month though, I hit a wall. Between work stress and other plans, I missed the gym a few days. All in all, I think I just needed the break. I started the following week with yoga. The next day, I went climbing and was just crushing it. I felt so much more confident and was trying harder climbs. The third day, I had a super busy day at work and was so excited to sweat it out at the gym and that workout was awesome too. I left feeling like my light week was the perfect way to rest my body and come back stronger... and then I got hit with a migraine. I honestly don't think I've ever had one before because I always thought they were just a bad headache. It's so much more than that. I was left with a stiff neck for several days after which also kept me from doing any more exercise.

It's hard when you miss the gym because you're busy or stressed.... it's even harder when you want to go and physically can't. It's crazy because I workout and eat healthy so that my body is always in tip top shape and going through something like a migraine where your body really turns against you - it's a little scary. I hope it's just something that was triggered by an especially stressful day and not a regular occurrence.

Meal Planning

Since this was a busy month for me, I was more dependent on organizing our meals for the week and also using the slow cooker. People also ask how I can manage working two jobs, exercise, and cooking. Meal planning is a huge part of that.

I have two other tricks that I've mentioned before. The first is the slow cooker/ instant pot. It's so nice to be able to prep a meal and have it cook while I'm working or running errands. The second is to just do really easy meals. One of my favorites is to make something that is 100% in the oven. That way I can take a shower or take care of other things while dinner is cooking instead of tending to something on the stove.

I really love this particular habit because it's a big "do it all" habit. I don't want to sacrifice eating well in order to work on other things. Just a little bit of prep goes a long way in making that possible. 

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

I loved having the time at the beginning of the month for our long weekend. With how busy work has been this month, it's got me itching for another trip. I definitely wouldn't mind starting to think about where we can go next year. As homeowners, we have some tax benefits that will hopefully lead to a good refund. That should pad our savings enough to help us meet this goal next year!

Read a Book a Week

Right on track here! It felt like I was on a roll at the beginning of the month and then I hit a book that was a slower but interesting read. I'm trying to avoid those for now but it's still hard when I come across something that looks good.

I'm also trying to listen to more audiobooks. I'm in my car a lot more now and audiobooks are such a great way to kill that time while getting some reading done as well. I'm always a little hesitant about them because some books work better than others for it. That's where learning how to put a book down comes in handy. I started one audiobook and could not follow it from the get go so I ended up turning it off and listening to This American Life instead.

Me Time

My neck injury had one upside - a lot of me time! I spent the last day of the month in bed with Netflix. Healing from a migraine or concussion or whatever happened means a lot of rest of darkness and quiet. So I messed up on the quiet but staying in and taking it easy was a great way to help that healing.

I also seem to keep having a day a month where Dan is busy - either working or with his own plans. I know I could take that time and catch up with my friends but I've been choosing to take that time to relax and read and catch up on my own projects... and it's been so nice. It's really been the definition of what I meant by this goal and I love it. I hope I keep being able to have a day or two just to take care of me. 

Steady September

This was a really tough one for me. It was about balance and bringing everything together. The month started really well... and then it fell apart. I don't want this to be about excuses so we'll avoid those. I think sometimes doing it all requires some things to fall into place more out of luck than anything. It was already piling on but then my migraine and subsequent head and neck ache really just blew it open. The last week of the month was just totally useless for me and I hate ending on a fail. I definitely want to keep this goal in front of me because it really is THE GOAL but it didn't happen this month because of forces out of my control. 

Outgoing Octopus October

This totally sounds weird. Early last month I said to Dan, "Hey - I thought of the goal for next month!" and he said "Octopus October????" so I gave him a "really???" face and never told him what it was because he didn't ask. When it came up later in another conversation he asked what happened to Octopus October. I told him that doesn't even make sense and he explained that I could try to do 8 new things. Ok, that's not so bad, but I still liked the Outgoing October idea... so why not combine them? Do 8 new things with the goal of lowering inhibitions and fears. 

If you know me, this might seem like a weird one. I'm not super shy. I don't have a hard time talking to strangers or public speaking or anything like that. I know how to be polite and friendly. However, it just hasn't all felt like it's clicked lately.

Honestly, I've felt a little not like myself for a while. I've had a tough year and I think it's really shaken the core of who I am. I lost my mom, I had troubles with close friendships, and frankly, Dan and I still are fairly new to San Diego which can be a lonely feeling all on it's own. At the end of the day, all of that has left me feeling like a more subdued and self conscious version of myself.

Pair that with real estate, a career that requires confidence and a huge personality, and it becomes a big issue. I go to all of the real estate training that I can and I come out of them with a list of ideas and plans to build my business - and then I freeze. 

So this goal is really two fold. The first, and most obvious is to make that real estate push. It's to connect with strangers and bring up real estate more. It's to call people and do things that are a little outside my comfort zone. The worst thing that can happen is that someone says no or doesn't want to talk to you but it's still a tough one.The second goal is to keep trying to build my San Diego community. I love being surrounded by many different types of people. I think I've made a lot of good friends so far and then stopped trying to keep building that community.

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That's it for September! I'm happy to report that after a week+, my neck is finally feeling much better. I'm definitely still feeling cautious and plan on taking it easy for a few more days just to be sure but I'm really feeling antsy to get back to the gym and feeling normal.