The Final Countdown: Baby is Coming!!!

We're near the end!!!! I wanted to do one more update before the baby is born  about how the third trimester has gone. I've been working on a total pregnancy round up as well with my thoughts on things that were helpful in managing symptoms during my pregnancy. For now, I just want to talk about how the last 12 weeks have gone for me.

Symptoms

The third trimester has been a little up and down for me. I definitely started feeling more tired and achy as I was dealing with my body being bigger and more difficult to move around. But the energy... that's been the most interesting to me. Early on in this trimester I was definitely feeling the fatigue (but not to the same level as the first trimester). As my pregnancy progressed though, I started drinking more raspberry leaf tea and eating dates to prepare for labor. I found that my energy got a lot better at the same time. As long as I slept decently, I could be really productive throughout the day. Instead of giving it all to my job and then crashing, I was able to get done the last of my baby chores and then cook a bunch of fun things (which has been nice therapy for me). I've read dates are great for energy so I definitely think that's been a big part of it.

My workout now

What's been more difficult are the aches with late pregnancy. Around 34 weeks, I started getting really bad pelvic pain. This is pretty normal but it was aggravated by certain movements like too much walking or exercise. That was my cue that it was time to stop going to the gym. Walking was tough - it's really good in pregnancy but too much and I 'd be in a lot of pain. Dan and I really tried to find a balance of shorter, flat walks that I could do. I also found swimming to be a nice relief and tried to go to the pool a little more.

Danger Alert

Throughout this pregnancy, and more so this last trimester, I've felt an overwhelming alertness to the dangers around me. I'm a little bit clumsy and a little bit daring generally... but in pregnancy my brain is more like "I can trip just walking through my house!!" I'm sure this is a normal feeling but sometimes I'm so preoccupied thinking of ways I might get hurt, that I almost stumble. It's definitely weird feeling like your body is so much more fragile than you're used to thinking of it. A year ago I was doing obstacle races and now I'm like "should I stand on this chair to get the bowl on the top shelf?"

I've heard some moms imply that this doesn't really go away. You see all the ways your children could get hurt and are always on preventative. At a BBQ the other day I definitely found myself really alert to any dangers the kids there could get into!

Nesting

I'm a pretty organized person. I've found that not having things ready gives me some anxiety and I tackled baby prep the same way I tackled the wedding and the same way I tackle most projects - I make lists and break things into smaller projects and knock out one thing at a time. Trying to get at least one thing done a week when you have a lot of time to prepare for a big event, helps break it down into something manageable.

The third trimester has been huge for this. A lot of our planning was getting to the baby shower and once that was done, I was very eager to get the nursery and everything else ready. It left us in a place where most things were done with over a month to go which was a really nice feeling. Now that we're down to days until the baby comes, we just have little housekeeping things to do - washing bottles, some dusting or tidying - nothing major.

It's funny how nesting affects people differently. I'm not a cleaning person. I love cooking and I'm cool with laundry but I hate cleaning things (I like them to be clean, it's just my least favorite chore). In my final weeks of pregnancy though I find myself going over areas of the house with the duster and cleaning wipes to get things as ready as possible. Dan is great with cleaning but a couple of weeks ago he went IN DEPTH with it. I pointed out he was nesting too and he said, "I always clean." The next day one of my pregnancy apps had an article about dad's nesting instincts because it's totally a thing.

Birth Classes

As your due date approaches, it's good to think about birth classes. All of the pregnancy books I read, said not to go to the classes at the hospital and instead to do Lamaze or Hypnobirthing or some natural based class. Well, the hospital classes were a fraction of the cost (babies are expensive, we have to think about these things!) and I'm giving birth at the hospital so we decided to take those classes and see what my options are at their facility. There was always the option to take the other classes later if we felt the need (we didn't but I did read a hypnobirthing book to get an idea of that technique as well).

And honestly... I loved them. I don't know if it's the hospital's agenda or our teacher's philosophy (and she was trained in some of the other methods!), but the class actually followed a lot of my ideas of how I'd like my birth to go. Instead of saying we needed to be strapped in and pumped full of drugs, she explained methods of opening your pelvis and having your partner help relax you through labor. It was not what I was expecting from the hospital at all, but it was exactly the kind of class I was looking for.

Birth Plan

So going off of that - let's talk about my plan. I won't go into every detail, but generally, I like the idea of a natural birth. To me, it's always made sense that being able to walk around, sit on a ball, squat, etc is a more natural way for a baby to come out than laying down. You can't walk around if you have an epidural. I don't think there is anything wrong with women who go that route, I just want to try it another way. I'm hoping that with my level of fitness and the types of torture I've voluntarily put my body through, that birth will just be another physical challenge - with the best reward at the end.

And I'm realistic. Giving birth feels like planning a wedding in a way. If you have a strict vision of how it has to go and are going to get upset if anything goes wrong - you're going to have a bad time. The best case is plan for your ideal situation, do everything you can to make that happen, and roll with the things that you can't control. I know I might be like "Forget this! Give me the drugs!" I may need a c-section. This might be a miserable experience. But it might not be, and I'd like to go into this with a calm mind and preparing for my ideal birth but being able to roll with anything that could happen.

What a Breech!

...which is where I am now. At my last appointment the doctor told us baby was breech. About 4% of babies end up in this position at the time of birth (so it's not very common and we have a chance of turning this around!). However, if baby stays in the wrong place, we'll have to have a scheduled c-section.

This was NOT part of my plan. I did a lot of research on everything I could possibly do to avoid a c-section. I've never had a surgery before and didn't want to start now. Dan also had some concerns after a friend had a traumatic birth last year.

That's one way to flip a baby

But what are our options? We could freak out and cry and be dramatic about it or we could stay calm and do all the exercises that may flip the baby and hope it all works out. If it doesn't, we do the surgery and take comfort knowing that a scheduled c-section is a very safe procedure, even if it's still major abdominal surgery. I've definitely been a little sad about it since getting the news but my focus has just been on staying calm and looking at the positives (we get baby a week early! scheduled c-section is easier to recover from than emergency c-section!).

Making Time for Me

If there's one thing I'm sure of (and just one thing - everything else about the birth and having a baby is up in the air!) it's that our lives are going to change when the baby comes. Everyone talks about the sleepless nights and how much work it is but I know there's no way I can fully understand until I'm there.

So it's been nice that my last trimester has been relatively easy. It's also come with a slump at work so the last month for me has been a really unstressful time. I've been able to read and take it really easy. No matter what kind of birth I have, it will require me to be calm and having a low key last month has been really nice for getting into that mindset. I'm just trying to enjoy my quiet time before I'm changing diapers, feeding every two hours, and trying to calm a crying baby. I don't know when I'll have a time in my life like this again.

That's where I am leading into my last couple of weeks of pregnancy. There's nothing too exciting to report, just that I'm hanging in here and trying to go into a super zen place as I prepare for birth. Those who know me, know that patience and tranquility are not really my strong suits, but I've found this real calmness throughout my whole pregnancy. I've been trying to focus in on it during this last stretch so I can really tap into that if I'm able to have a natural birth. I'm excited about what's to come though. I can't wait to see what my baby looks like and what kind of personality this kid will have. I am eagerly awaiting my first glass of wine, sushi, and being able to exercise in a couple of months. I look forward to baby wearing and going on long stroller walks to museums and the zoo while I'm on maternity leave. The pregnancy part of the journey is ending but we're starting a whole new set of adventures and we welcome a whole new person into our family.

The force is strong in my family!

2nd Trimester Updates

I don't want you to think this blog is all baby posts. I've actually been working on something really cool and informative. I started the post and had SO MUCH information that I realized it would make more sense as two posts... and as I was working on the first part, I realized that was really long too and it should actually be a series. I'm not sure how to break it up yet so I think I should write the whole thing and then figure it out... so there's been some delay. In the meantime, here's an update on me though!

Third Trimester!!!

I'm 2/3 of the way through my pregnancy! It's exciting to hit the final stretch and the last three months have been a world different than the first three. They say the second trimester is the best trimester and so far it feels right. Now that I'm starting my third trimester, I still feel really good but I can tell my body is turning a corner and things are getting a little less comfortable. It's changing slowly so I'm trying to still enjoy the times I feel great.

Energy

I didn't realize how tired I was the first trimester, until I wasn't anymore. First trimester fatigue is kind of like depression. You're not just tired - you don't want to do annyyyttthiiinnngggg. Being tired or sleepy is one thing but all I was able to do most of the time was watch bad reality tv and read things online. I didn't even have the energy to focus on good tv or read a book.

Now my energy is amazing most days. I've always been someone who crashes in the afternoon so it's hard to tell if my 4pm sleepiness is pregnancy or just my normal internal clock. the rest of the day, I'm good. I've been able to double time my productivity at work and around the house which is great for preparing for baby (and finally changing my name!!!). I've loved being able to knock out projects and feel close to normal.

We even went on a hike!
I slept for like 2 days after this... but we did it!!

Dealing with Symptoms

Luckily, the second trimester is pretty symptom light! Despite having more energy, I still have days where I totally crash and just want to nap. They're more spread out and can be avoided when I go to sleep early and sleep well (which is harder to control). Other than that, it's just getting used to have a bigger body and some of the side effects that come from your body making room for baby. I won't get into the details but compared to morning sickness, it's all minorly inconvenient.

Exercise

This one is bittersweet for me. On one hand, I've been able to get back to the gym semi-regularly. It's nothing like what I was doing before but getting into class twice a week and sometimes making it to the YMCA to swim has felt so good. I honestly feel like being able to exercise and eat normally again have helped make the last few months of pregnancy really smooth for me. If I have future pregnancies, I'm definitely going to try to push through the first trimester a little harder because I do feel like the vegetables and working out help ease the discomfort no matter how much you don't want to try it at the time.

There are some downsides though. Pregnancy fitness can feel reallllyyyy limiting. I'm still able to do quite a bit but with every passing week, I find more things I need to modify. On one hand, burpees, pull ups, push ups, and planks were some of the first things I had to get rid of (DARN 😆 ), but it's also meant eliminating things I do enjoy (core work, heavy weight lifting, obstacle training). I go to a class twice a week that Dan teaches. He's made me my own workouts so I can go and see my friends but sometimes he forgets a modification for me or my workout is much shorter and I feel really left out. The hard part is that I'm still very strong... my body just can't take the impact of a heavy workout. So when I modify by lowering the weights, it ends up being too easy for me. It's great that I'm doing something but it's less exciting without the challenge. I'm really looking forward to being able to train again post-baby and I'm already thinking about some races for next year.

Body Image

Your changing body creates complicated feelings feelings during pregnancy. For the most part, I'm all about it. I know making a baby is an amazing crazy thing that our bodies can do and it's so impressive how we adapt to handle it. On the other hand, it's hard not to feel self conscious when clothes stop fitting and you're bigger than you've ever been (with months of growing still to go!!!).

Buying a bikini top while pregnant
does not inspire confidence.

The real issue with body image is that  your pregnancy doesn't occur in a vacuum. It's hard not to compare yourself to other pregnant women. When I see a bump photo, I check what week they're on and compare it to my own progress. Sometimes, I see someone bigger and I feel relieved but sometimes I see these tiny women who have gained like 5 lbs and have a belly the size of mine at 8 weeks and I feel like I let the cookies get out of hand. There is a yoga instructor I follow that gives me particular anxiety. She's about a month behind me and is always complaining about how big she's getting even though her bump is tiny and she says she's hardly gained any weight. I know we all have thoughts on our own bodies but someone in that position should realize how her comments make other pregnant women feel when they are gaining weight at a faster pace.

The other tough thing can be what other people say. For the most part, people tell me I look great or my bump is cute. I love hearing that I'm only gaining weight in my belly. I really don't like hearing "you don't even look pregnant." I've gained over 25 lbs so far. My body was super athletic before. It's not the same now. Hearing that I don't look pregnant makes me feel like I just let myself go instead of this other really awesome thing that my body is making. It's also hard hearing "wow you look big!" No woman, in any situation, ever wants to hear that. I already feel like I'm gaining weight a little faster than I should be, so it's a delicate situation. If you're ever wondering what to tell a pregnant woman - tell her she looks beautiful.

Kind of related to this - I saw some coworkers who are on the East coast. Many made comments about how big I was getting but one just said "I hope you have a good baby!" and then he felt uncomfortable like he said the wrong thing... but honestly that's a great thing to say too! I hope I have a good baby! Whether that means healthy or well behaved (or preferably both), I'm down for a good baby!

Mom Mode

AND I'm knitting a blanket!
Nesting so hard right now.

Anyone who knows me, knows I like to do a lot. I work full time (and I'm really good at my job), I cook dinner most nights, workout frequently, run an Etsy business, and have about 1708099 hobbies. I like to keep busy. I know I'll need to cut back on some things post baby but the one thing I've always respected about moms - most of the time, they seem like they're doing it all. I plan to still work and cook and exercise while raising the crap out of this baby. During the first trimester, when I was exhausted and sick, I kept thinking "how do people do this?" I couldn't imagine taking care of a baby and working and doing everything else I do, and what if I got pregnant again? It felt impossible.

Now that I have my energy back, I've been challenging myself to be like a mom. I love the days when I have the energy to get all my work done, make dinner, and get a bunch of things ready for the baby. When I'm tired and would rather take the easy option for dinner, I remind myself that tired isn't an excuse when you're a mom.

Don't get me wrong, I still let myself relax. I know this is my last stretch of freedom to relax before baby comes. It's all about balance. If I need to take a day to nap and rest my pregnant body, I do. If I feel like I have a lot to do and I'm just laying around because it's easy, I push myself to do the things. I'm practicing for mom mode and I think it's going alright.

Friends

In my last post, I felt like I was in a weird place with friends. It can be hard being pregnant - you're technically no longer childless (and you're definitely not as into the bar scene) but you don't really have a kid yet either so you can't organize play dates with your mom friends. It felt really lonely, but now, a few months later, it doesn't feel so bad. I think a lot of the issue in early pregnancy is that people don't know you're pregnant. In my case, I also didn't feel well. That can lead to a lot of self-inflicted isolation. I felt sick, I was hiding that I wasn't drinking, and I exhausted. Of course that didn't make me feel like a social butterfly. Now that my pregnancy is public knowledge, people check on me and I feel more social again. It's not as lonely as it was those first few months.

Still enjoying parties while pregnant (and sneaking out early for burritos and sleep)

I also made some headway on finding pregnant friends. A couple friends came forward and let me know they were also pregnant so I've had some people to talk to. I found a mom version of Tinder. So far I've just been trying to match with other pregnant ladies and I've gone a couple of friend dates that went really well. I'm building a tiny circle of future moms that will all have babies close in age to our little Piglet.

Missing Mom

A picture of my mom while pregnant

As most of you know, my mom passed away a couple of years ago. For most of the time since, I would burst into tears thinking about how she wouldn't be around when I had kids. She wanted me to have kids so badly. One of the last things she asked me was if I was planning on having a baby soon. I know she wanted to hold out until I was ready to start a family, but she just wasn't able to.

I'm not going to lie, doing this without my mom is hard. I wish I knew more about her pregnancies. She told me some stories but there was so much I never thought to ask. I wonder what her symptoms were like and if we are having similar experiences. I wish she was around to give me advice or to help those first couple of weeks. I know she would be helping me make Brazilian food for the shower instead of me needing to get those items catered. I know she would disagree with us not wanting to find out the gender. I'm sure she would have a million opinions on everything. She would love to see pictures of me with my bump.

It's a lot to handle. Pregnancy is full of emotions so I try not to dwell on it. With the anniversary of her passing recently and Mother's Day approaching, this time of year is always a little harder and I find myself forgetting I can't text her my weekly bumpdate more and more (thanks pregnancy brain!).

What's Next

Now that we're in the third trimester, things are pretty real. Baby has an 80-95% chance of survival if I went into labor right now (but don't worry, we're going to try to keep baby in the oven at least another 12 weeks). Anyways, it's time to really get ready for this kid's arrival.

We started our birth classes. Our hospital had a lot of options so we decided to do ones that were shorter, weekly classes. Closer to the due date, we'll also take a couple classes on things we'll need to know once baby arrives. I've been finishing up the third trimester and birth chapters of my pregnancy books and soon I'll start the baby ones.

We've been selling old furniture and other things we don't need so we can make space for baby. After the shower, we'll clear out the guest bed and really get cracking on the nursery. In the meantime, we're doing some other small house projects that will be harder to tackle with a new born, as well as just doing some spring cleaning in preparation for the baby shower and baby.

I have to admit, it still doesn't totally feel real. I understand that I am pregnant and there will be a baby in a few months and our lives will change, but having never done this before (or really having a baby close in my life), it's hard to wrap my head around what that will be like on a day to day basis. It's easy for me to be like "I'm going to not be pregnant anymore and there will be baby I have to breastfeed and take with me everywhere and then I'll get some sushi and have a glass of wine!" It's easier for me to understand the "not being pregnant anymore" aspect than the "baby you have to take care of all the time" part.

I know we'll figure it out and do great but it's crazy to think of what a big change this will be in our lives. It's one I'm very ready for, but also hoping baby is really easy going since I'll have a lot to figure out!

This little one will be real soon!!!

On Pregnancy

If you read my last post, follow me on Instagram, or are a Facebook friend than this isn't a surprise but.... I'M PREGNANT!!!! This is obviously a huge life change and accordingly, I have a lot of thoughts about it. Pregnancy is either a lot of oversharing or undersharing so I thought I'd write a post that's somewhere in between - a collection of my thoughts on some of the biggest things that come along with pregnancy (and aren't really talked about). I want to be open but I'm not looking to gross anyone out so don't worry about gruesome details here. Some are based on questions I've been asked already and others based on things that have been on my mind a lot. I hope it's interesting!

You can never take just one!

P.S. I have a lot of ovulation and pregnancy tests if anyone wants them. They're way cheaper in bulk but expire in 2019 so... up for grabs!

Getting Pregnant

Getting pregnant is complicated. Let's assume that all women fall in three categories: trying not to pregnant, ok if it happens (not using protection but also not tracking fertile days), and actively trying. I went from group 1 to group 3 and that can be confusing. It's such a big change to not want to get pregnant for so long and then really, really want to. It can be hard to wrap your head around.

So take that confusing feeling and add that getting pregnant is actually kind of complicated. For some people it happens instantly (even on accident) and for some people it takes years or doesn't happen at all. For us, it took several months so not the best and definitely not the worst scenarios. It got frustrating at times (but we're still lucky it happened without too much strife!).

My point is - trying to get pregnant can be difficult emotionally. There's definitely a stigma about openly discussing these things but luckily I had a few friends that listened to me through it all and I appreciate them so much.

My Body

Bump watch 2019

Obviously pregnancy is a time of physical changes and weight gain. As someone who's focused a lot on being fit the last couple of years, this is a big change for me... but I'm here for it! People assume that the weight gain would freak me out but my biggest thing has always been seeing the potential that my body has... and what better way than creating life? If that's not the coolest thing women do with their bodies than I don't know what is. I've actually really enjoyed tracking the changes in my body. While I joke with Dan about "getting fat," I'm actually excited that a little bump is starting to appear.

Of course, it also means a lot to me to have a smooth recovery. I'm hoping that my health and fitness level before getting pregnant will help with that. I oil and lotion up my belly like it's my job. I'm here for the pregnancy changes but I'm also hoping to minimize the long term damage.

Not Drinking

This one has actually been easier than I thought! I did a Whole30 once so I have some experience with not drinking for a while but obviously pregnancy is a lot longer. There are some big differences between not drinking for this and not drinking for a diet. Obviously, pregnancy is something much bigger than yourself and abstaining from something you enjoy because of the health of your child is a pretty noble reason not to drink. You also have a lot more options than a diet. On Whole30 there were only a couple of non-water things you could drink and even still, in moderation. With Pregnancy, you can still have juices and mocktails and other beverages that are little more fun. Lastly... you just don't feel all that hot when you're pregnant. Morning sickness feels a lot like being hungover and I think most drinkers know, you generally don't feel like a drink when you're having a rough morning. Another thing that helped was cutting back on drinking while trying to get pregnant (alcohol might affect fertility) so I was able to ease into the transition.

There are obviously times when abstaining is a little bit harder though. Big social events, especially with a lack of other beverage options, can be tough. I've learned a few easy mocktails that most bars can accommodate but since I wasn't a big cocktail drinker, it tends to be too much sweetness if I have more than 1-2. However, it still gets a little boring when everyone else is drinking. Eating out with groups is hard too. It's generally easier to split a check evenly... but drinks are expensive and it doesn't feel fair to me to have to pay for something I didn't consume - especially because babies are expensive too. Lastly, I like wine because I like the taste. Usually when I want it the most, it's because I've seen a new wine and I'm curious about it or I'm thinking about what would pair with my dinner. It's not in a "I NEED A DRINK WAY" but more that I'm missing something that has very much been a hobby for me.

The biggest thing I've learned though - is that it's important to support friends that aren't drinking regardless of the reason. I'll be the first to admit that I've been super guilty about this and I apologize to anyone I've made uncomfortable. The amount of push back I received just from cutting back before getting pregnant was annoying to say the least. So if a friend says they don't want another drink - that's fine. Also, still invite those people out! Just because I'm not drinking doesn't mean I don't want to be social. Let that be on me to figure out. Maybe I'll still be too tired or maybe some situations still won't make sense for me (like if drinks are included in the price no matter what), but generally, I'd rather still see friends before my life changes forever with a baby than be left out just because I'm not drinking.

Eating for (Not Quite) Two

Goals!

This is one of the things I was most excited about! I obviously try to eat healthy so getting to let loose a little was something to look forward to. Of course, like everything else in pregnancy, it's more complicated than that!

First of all, you're not eating for two. It's really like another 300 calories a day. Babies are small, yo! Second, you're supposed to still eat healthy. I decided to do a little bit of a compromise. Since I ate SO healthy before, it seemed fair to me to be able to splurge a little bit on treats that I didn't normally eat. Approaching it with the goal of balance seemed really logical to me.

Reality

But pregnancy is not logical. I've found it so hard to eat vegetables and a lot of red meats. Some days, I tell Dan he better not come home if he doesn't have a pizza or some ice cream. Other days, it's hard to stomach anything other than carbs. Baby also loves fruit which feels like a great way to get some nutritious food in while still appeasing the cravings.

Another issue has been just how frequently I get hungry now. I've always been more a small/frequent meals person but with this baby it's a must. I tend to only feel un-well when I'm hungry... but I get hungry all the time. I've had to find ways to snack all the time, including the middle of the night. On the flip side, you get full easily when you're pregnant as well because your stomach is sharing space with the baby so it's really just about making sure you're never too far from something you can eat easily. The hunger strikes quickly and it strikes hard.

Things have gotten better now that I'm in the second trimester and I'm working on getting back to that balance that I originally pictured for myself. It's a struggle for sure, but I'm working on it!

Exercise

I had big aspirations for pregnancy fitness. I'd been following some fitness accounts of women who got pregnant and was so inspired by how active they were in their pregnancies. Seeing a woman do a pull up with an 8 month bump (when I can't even do one un-assisted normally) is goals AF.

Pregnant Spartan!!!

...but not the reality. The first trimester I was either sick or tired the whole time and those are not conditions condusive to going to the gym. I was also worried about losing the pregnancy (which is more likely the first 12 weeks) and wasn't ready to share the news with the trainers. Even working out at home was tough. I'd use all my energy to get through the work day (it's important to me to not use pregnancy as an excuse at work) and then just crash. Even making dinner was next to impossible some days. The best I could do was go on a walk a few times a week. Luckily, that was great for doggy and walking is one of the best (and safest) way to exercise during pregnancy. I also wasn't too hard on myself if that just felt impossible.

Now that I'm through the rough patch, working out more is one of my goals. Regular bootcamp classes still intimidate me (the trainers know now and I can modify, but it's still a lot), but I've been going to the lifting class. It's more self paced and almost everyone who attends are really close and know about what's going on with me. Last week was my first class after going public and I was chatting as much lifting which was definitely nice (and of course, I like the attention). My goal this month has just been to get out of the house at least once a day (preferably for some sort of walk or exercise), but next month it's going to be doing something active more days than not.

This hike was just not going to happen

And for any haters - I've done A LOT of research here. Pregnancy is not the time to start anything new or up your game but it's fairly safe to resume activities you were doing before getting pregnant (with exceptions). I've learned the things I definitely can't do and have been talking to Dan (fitness husbands are handy!) and doing research on how to modify or what to do instead. I also got an HR monitor. The heart rate cap is outdated science but I feel more comfortable keeping tabs on it. Sometimes I get out of breath quickly but my HR is in a reasonable range so I know I'm ok. I also want to know if it's spiking out of my HR zones so I can stop and let my body recover. Plus, I'm very in tune with my body. We went on a hike last week and it felt bad... and got worse... so we stopped. Baby is the priority 100%.

Gender Reveal

Yea, we're not doing that. Not at all, actually. We want to be surprised by the baby's gender. I have another post planned that goes more into this so stay tuned.

And Everything Else!!!

Pregnancy is full of surprises. For the most part, it's been a really happy time for me. I've always wanted to be a mom and was eager for it to be the right time. Even through all the ups and downs of symptoms, I've been really happy and excited about what's to come.

The one thing that I wasn't expecting though... was how lonely pregnancy can be. All of my friends either already have kids and are very busy with that... or are no where near that step in life. Not having kids myself, I don't always know how to navigate the relationships with parent friends and whether they need attention or space. I also feel like my not-having-kids-soon friends want to go out and party all the time (which is fine!!!) and I'm just not there any more, or am not included because they assume the pregnant lady wouldn't want to go. They're still my friends but I don't feel like I fit in on either side and that leaves me at home cuddling with the dog instead of getting some human interaction. I'm worried about it getting worse when the baby is actually here too. I'm hoping to make some mom friends between now and then but I don't even know where to start with that. It all just makes me feel incredibly lonely some days.

I'm sure you're wondering where Dan is in all this. Yes, he is here. He does work though and sometimes weird or long hours. I also don't want to tell him he can't do things in his free time just because I'm emotional so he sees friends sometimes and works out a lot. He's as supportive as I need him to be, but I know it's not great to have 1 person you depend 100% on. It's times like these that not having my mom around hurts more than ever. Just having her to call and talk to would help a lot with all of the emotions I'm feeling.

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So that sums it up (gorey and personal details aside)!!! Pregnancy, for the most part, is not really how I imagined. I definitely figured with the shape I was in before getting pregnant that I'd be one of those super pregnant ladies that just does everything and has perfect skin and is always smiling. Nope! I'm human too! This baby has slowed me down a lot over the last couple of months but I'm still excited about everything that is happening with my body.

I also want to give super props to any woman who have gone through this while also taking care of kids they already have! At this stage in my life, aside from work (which is from home so I can still be in sweat pants or get a little more sleep in lieu of a commute), I don't have a lot of things I have to do so I can focus on taking it easy and self-care. That all changes with kids so mad props to everyone who already takes care of little ones and double props if you're doing it while pregnant. Moms really are Wonder Women.