On Moving

OMG guys, I'm moving to San Diego!

Even though it's something I've been talking about a lot, and even more once the work and living situations were figured out, it's important for me to address it in blogville. I've thought a lot about what I was going to write here but putting down the words never felt right until now. Hopefully this all comes out as good as it sounded in my head.

Let's start at the beginning. I've always wanted to live in San Diego. I was never happy growing up in Los Angeles and I knew nothing about Northern California. When college applications came out, I was so excited about the possibility of going to UC San Diego. When I got in - I was ecstatic... and then a few days later the last school acceptance came in and I found out I got into Berkeley. Even though I knew Berkeley was the better school, I still wanted to visit both and really decide between a great school and a place I really wanted to live. However, on my tour of UCSD, even the current students told me I couldn't turn down Berkeley. Of course I couldn't. Off to Norcal it was.

It's crazy to think that was 10 years ago. I always thought I'd move back South when I graduated but relationships kept me in the Bay Area. When I was single for the first time in 5 years, I'd fallen in love with San Francisco and couldn't imagine leaving...

Until I could.

Anyone who lives in the Bay Area knows that things have been changing. The draw of San Francisco's awesome activities and the growth of the tech industry in Silicon Valley have made the Bay Area one of the most desirable places to live in the world. However, the area isn't suited for the growth it's seen over the years. Apartments cannot be built fast enough and those that already exist are a hot commodity. As someone who does not live in a rent controlled apartment, I've seen my rent increase 30% in three years and that was with my landlords cutting me a lot of slack for being a good tenant.

My apartment though - has not seen 30% of improvements. If anything, the quality of living in my area has decreased sharply. With questionable neighbors and even more questionable people visiting the local hot spots, safety and sanitation had become a big problem. However, finding a new place was out of the question. For as much as our apartment in San Diego will cost, we could barely find an in-law apartment in someone's garage in Glen Park. To me, it seemed like the City was becoming a third world country - with apartments only rich can afford and concessions made for low income housing, the middle class of the Bay Area (which would easily be upper class anywhere else) have no place to go.

We thought about other cities in the Bay Area but everywhere we could think of meant longer commutes, living in a place we weren't excited about, and all for what wasn't much savings... so we decided to look elsewhere.

Actually I'm just going because there
is a bar called The Lincoln Room
Jk... it closed :(

If I had to decide what would exist in my perfect city, I would want a place that had that small city, fun, young feel of San Francisco but with the weather and beaches of LA that I've missed so much. It didn't take long to decide on San Diego. We browsed prices and looked at the lifestyle down there and it was clearly a great place. I'd been there a few times to visit my brother and always had a great time.

So all of that above - that's been on repeat out of my mouth when people ask why we are moving. And then someone said "but I'm sure a fresh start would be nice too..."

And the mask of bullshit just fell away.

All those things above are definitely what sparked the move and what sound great in conversation, but I'd be lying to you if I didn't say there was more to the story. I've had a lot of great memories in San Francisco. I have some of the best friends ever. However, for every good memory, there are bad ones too. I had my heart broken for the first time. I met a lot of jerks. I lost friends. I've made poor choices. I worry when I go out that I'll bump into someone I dated. My heart races when I think about what would happen if I ran into my ex-boyfriend. And although we already were well into our plans to move, when Rocco died it really felt like the final straw on a big pile of straws of bad memories. Bad memories make you stronger. They make you into a better person. They help you realize what's important. But most of all - they really suck. Bad memories hurt and break your heart a little whenever you have a reminder of them even if everything else in your life is super.

The idea of going to a place where I have a little family and a few acquaintances, and a giant blank slate sounds amazing - and I get to do it with a grumpy cat and the best boyfriend ever in an apartment I am so excited to call my future home in a city that looks like a wonderful place to live. I'm excited to have a fresh start with him and Callie and hopefully a new little addition to our family (a puppy guys - just a puppy) and to do it all in a place where we can afford to live comfortably and save for our future.