On Pregnancy

If you read my last post, follow me on Instagram, or are a Facebook friend than this isn't a surprise but.... I'M PREGNANT!!!! This is obviously a huge life change and accordingly, I have a lot of thoughts about it. Pregnancy is either a lot of oversharing or undersharing so I thought I'd write a post that's somewhere in between - a collection of my thoughts on some of the biggest things that come along with pregnancy (and aren't really talked about). I want to be open but I'm not looking to gross anyone out so don't worry about gruesome details here. Some are based on questions I've been asked already and others based on things that have been on my mind a lot. I hope it's interesting!

You can never take just one!

P.S. I have a lot of ovulation and pregnancy tests if anyone wants them. They're way cheaper in bulk but expire in 2019 so... up for grabs!

Getting Pregnant

Getting pregnant is complicated. Let's assume that all women fall in three categories: trying not to pregnant, ok if it happens (not using protection but also not tracking fertile days), and actively trying. I went from group 1 to group 3 and that can be confusing. It's such a big change to not want to get pregnant for so long and then really, really want to. It can be hard to wrap your head around.

So take that confusing feeling and add that getting pregnant is actually kind of complicated. For some people it happens instantly (even on accident) and for some people it takes years or doesn't happen at all. For us, it took several months so not the best and definitely not the worst scenarios. It got frustrating at times (but we're still lucky it happened without too much strife!).

My point is - trying to get pregnant can be difficult emotionally. There's definitely a stigma about openly discussing these things but luckily I had a few friends that listened to me through it all and I appreciate them so much.

My Body

Bump watch 2019

Obviously pregnancy is a time of physical changes and weight gain. As someone who's focused a lot on being fit the last couple of years, this is a big change for me... but I'm here for it! People assume that the weight gain would freak me out but my biggest thing has always been seeing the potential that my body has... and what better way than creating life? If that's not the coolest thing women do with their bodies than I don't know what is. I've actually really enjoyed tracking the changes in my body. While I joke with Dan about "getting fat," I'm actually excited that a little bump is starting to appear.

Of course, it also means a lot to me to have a smooth recovery. I'm hoping that my health and fitness level before getting pregnant will help with that. I oil and lotion up my belly like it's my job. I'm here for the pregnancy changes but I'm also hoping to minimize the long term damage.

Not Drinking

This one has actually been easier than I thought! I did a Whole30 once so I have some experience with not drinking for a while but obviously pregnancy is a lot longer. There are some big differences between not drinking for this and not drinking for a diet. Obviously, pregnancy is something much bigger than yourself and abstaining from something you enjoy because of the health of your child is a pretty noble reason not to drink. You also have a lot more options than a diet. On Whole30 there were only a couple of non-water things you could drink and even still, in moderation. With Pregnancy, you can still have juices and mocktails and other beverages that are little more fun. Lastly... you just don't feel all that hot when you're pregnant. Morning sickness feels a lot like being hungover and I think most drinkers know, you generally don't feel like a drink when you're having a rough morning. Another thing that helped was cutting back on drinking while trying to get pregnant (alcohol might affect fertility) so I was able to ease into the transition.

There are obviously times when abstaining is a little bit harder though. Big social events, especially with a lack of other beverage options, can be tough. I've learned a few easy mocktails that most bars can accommodate but since I wasn't a big cocktail drinker, it tends to be too much sweetness if I have more than 1-2. However, it still gets a little boring when everyone else is drinking. Eating out with groups is hard too. It's generally easier to split a check evenly... but drinks are expensive and it doesn't feel fair to me to have to pay for something I didn't consume - especially because babies are expensive too. Lastly, I like wine because I like the taste. Usually when I want it the most, it's because I've seen a new wine and I'm curious about it or I'm thinking about what would pair with my dinner. It's not in a "I NEED A DRINK WAY" but more that I'm missing something that has very much been a hobby for me.

The biggest thing I've learned though - is that it's important to support friends that aren't drinking regardless of the reason. I'll be the first to admit that I've been super guilty about this and I apologize to anyone I've made uncomfortable. The amount of push back I received just from cutting back before getting pregnant was annoying to say the least. So if a friend says they don't want another drink - that's fine. Also, still invite those people out! Just because I'm not drinking doesn't mean I don't want to be social. Let that be on me to figure out. Maybe I'll still be too tired or maybe some situations still won't make sense for me (like if drinks are included in the price no matter what), but generally, I'd rather still see friends before my life changes forever with a baby than be left out just because I'm not drinking.

Eating for (Not Quite) Two

Goals!

This is one of the things I was most excited about! I obviously try to eat healthy so getting to let loose a little was something to look forward to. Of course, like everything else in pregnancy, it's more complicated than that!

First of all, you're not eating for two. It's really like another 300 calories a day. Babies are small, yo! Second, you're supposed to still eat healthy. I decided to do a little bit of a compromise. Since I ate SO healthy before, it seemed fair to me to be able to splurge a little bit on treats that I didn't normally eat. Approaching it with the goal of balance seemed really logical to me.

Reality

But pregnancy is not logical. I've found it so hard to eat vegetables and a lot of red meats. Some days, I tell Dan he better not come home if he doesn't have a pizza or some ice cream. Other days, it's hard to stomach anything other than carbs. Baby also loves fruit which feels like a great way to get some nutritious food in while still appeasing the cravings.

Another issue has been just how frequently I get hungry now. I've always been more a small/frequent meals person but with this baby it's a must. I tend to only feel un-well when I'm hungry... but I get hungry all the time. I've had to find ways to snack all the time, including the middle of the night. On the flip side, you get full easily when you're pregnant as well because your stomach is sharing space with the baby so it's really just about making sure you're never too far from something you can eat easily. The hunger strikes quickly and it strikes hard.

Things have gotten better now that I'm in the second trimester and I'm working on getting back to that balance that I originally pictured for myself. It's a struggle for sure, but I'm working on it!

Exercise

I had big aspirations for pregnancy fitness. I'd been following some fitness accounts of women who got pregnant and was so inspired by how active they were in their pregnancies. Seeing a woman do a pull up with an 8 month bump (when I can't even do one un-assisted normally) is goals AF.

Pregnant Spartan!!!

...but not the reality. The first trimester I was either sick or tired the whole time and those are not conditions condusive to going to the gym. I was also worried about losing the pregnancy (which is more likely the first 12 weeks) and wasn't ready to share the news with the trainers. Even working out at home was tough. I'd use all my energy to get through the work day (it's important to me to not use pregnancy as an excuse at work) and then just crash. Even making dinner was next to impossible some days. The best I could do was go on a walk a few times a week. Luckily, that was great for doggy and walking is one of the best (and safest) way to exercise during pregnancy. I also wasn't too hard on myself if that just felt impossible.

Now that I'm through the rough patch, working out more is one of my goals. Regular bootcamp classes still intimidate me (the trainers know now and I can modify, but it's still a lot), but I've been going to the lifting class. It's more self paced and almost everyone who attends are really close and know about what's going on with me. Last week was my first class after going public and I was chatting as much lifting which was definitely nice (and of course, I like the attention). My goal this month has just been to get out of the house at least once a day (preferably for some sort of walk or exercise), but next month it's going to be doing something active more days than not.

This hike was just not going to happen

And for any haters - I've done A LOT of research here. Pregnancy is not the time to start anything new or up your game but it's fairly safe to resume activities you were doing before getting pregnant (with exceptions). I've learned the things I definitely can't do and have been talking to Dan (fitness husbands are handy!) and doing research on how to modify or what to do instead. I also got an HR monitor. The heart rate cap is outdated science but I feel more comfortable keeping tabs on it. Sometimes I get out of breath quickly but my HR is in a reasonable range so I know I'm ok. I also want to know if it's spiking out of my HR zones so I can stop and let my body recover. Plus, I'm very in tune with my body. We went on a hike last week and it felt bad... and got worse... so we stopped. Baby is the priority 100%.

Gender Reveal

Yea, we're not doing that. Not at all, actually. We want to be surprised by the baby's gender. I have another post planned that goes more into this so stay tuned.

And Everything Else!!!

Pregnancy is full of surprises. For the most part, it's been a really happy time for me. I've always wanted to be a mom and was eager for it to be the right time. Even through all the ups and downs of symptoms, I've been really happy and excited about what's to come.

The one thing that I wasn't expecting though... was how lonely pregnancy can be. All of my friends either already have kids and are very busy with that... or are no where near that step in life. Not having kids myself, I don't always know how to navigate the relationships with parent friends and whether they need attention or space. I also feel like my not-having-kids-soon friends want to go out and party all the time (which is fine!!!) and I'm just not there any more, or am not included because they assume the pregnant lady wouldn't want to go. They're still my friends but I don't feel like I fit in on either side and that leaves me at home cuddling with the dog instead of getting some human interaction. I'm worried about it getting worse when the baby is actually here too. I'm hoping to make some mom friends between now and then but I don't even know where to start with that. It all just makes me feel incredibly lonely some days.

I'm sure you're wondering where Dan is in all this. Yes, he is here. He does work though and sometimes weird or long hours. I also don't want to tell him he can't do things in his free time just because I'm emotional so he sees friends sometimes and works out a lot. He's as supportive as I need him to be, but I know it's not great to have 1 person you depend 100% on. It's times like these that not having my mom around hurts more than ever. Just having her to call and talk to would help a lot with all of the emotions I'm feeling.

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So that sums it up (gorey and personal details aside)!!! Pregnancy, for the most part, is not really how I imagined. I definitely figured with the shape I was in before getting pregnant that I'd be one of those super pregnant ladies that just does everything and has perfect skin and is always smiling. Nope! I'm human too! This baby has slowed me down a lot over the last couple of months but I'm still excited about everything that is happening with my body.

I also want to give super props to any woman who have gone through this while also taking care of kids they already have! At this stage in my life, aside from work (which is from home so I can still be in sweat pants or get a little more sleep in lieu of a commute), I don't have a lot of things I have to do so I can focus on taking it easy and self-care. That all changes with kids so mad props to everyone who already takes care of little ones and double props if you're doing it while pregnant. Moms really are Wonder Women.

2018 New Year Resolutions Revisted

So this post is delayed! Normally I work on these throughout the year but for some reason I didn't last year. In fact, last year may have been my lightest for blogging ever. I'm planning on fixing that! I have a lot of drafts and ideas I've been playing with. Some are about a topic we'll touch on later on this post and others I've just been putting off.

Basically, I just haven't been as motivated to write lately. Like most artists, I tend to create more in times of high emotion and things have been pretty smooth sailing lately. I do think of a lot of blog posts but I've also just been really tired lately. Sometimes, just getting through work and life can be a lot and adding blog posts on top can be overwhelming.

But! I must do my yearly resolutions. I have so much to say about last year... and it's a good place to start on getting my blog posts going again.

Spartan Trifecta

I did it!!! It's crazy that this has been on my resolution list several times and now it's done! It was done by mid last year so it feels so long ago now. I saw a friend a few weeks ago and they asked how it went. "HARD" I said. "But do you feel really amazing about it now that's done?" they replied. "No, I feel like it was really hard" I said.

... and that sums it up! I definitely feel like it was a big accomplishment but the Beast race was very challenging. I thought the 12+ mile race would take me about 4 hours. It took almost 6. The elevation and inclines really hurt me. I don't think my nutrition was enough for that extreme of a race. I had a late start time. Most of all, I needed to train a lot more for those conditions. I did it though! I would just want to do a lot better next time.

So would I do it again? Yea, I think I would. I definitely want to do the shorter Spartan Races again - the Sprints and Supers, but I'd want to approach a Beast a lot differently. I'd want an earlier start time, I'd want to train more with hill running, and I'd want to pick a race that was not at elevation.

However, it's going to be a while before I do any Spartan race again. I need a little bit of a break for sure.

One New Etsy Item a Week

I did really well at this at first! I was adding things weekly... and then I realized it made more sense to add a bunch of items at once. There's some economies of scale for me to do a few items at the same time and this made more sense to me. I would still post things on my Instagram once or twice a week to spread out the marketing of it a little but there was no reason to hold back items I'd already made just because of a resolution.

Later in the year, I hit some speed bumps though. The computer that had the software stopped being able to connect to the internet so I had to constantly transfer files back and forth. Eventually, this became too annoying and I just stopped making listings the last few months of the year. I still came close to 52 new listings because I did so many earlier in the year, but I'm disappointed I didn't find a better work around to my computer issue... like buying new software for a better computer.

Grow My Etsy Business to Amazon

This didn't happen at all. I didn't even try. I DID, however, start building a good following for my Etsy shop on Instagram. I still have a lot I can do here but I've gotten a bunch of followers a several sales through my Instagram posts so that's exciting.

I'm not sure Amazon makes sense for my product but a good way to expand would be through selling items that help with cross stitch. I know mailing actual items is a lot more work so it would be interesting to see how it goes. I recently got a question asking if I sold one of the products I was thinking of for my shop which just shows that this idea is on the right track.

Change My Name

I came really close!!! I started the process... I just never made my way to the SS office. But soon! It doesn't make sense to do it right this second since it will mess up our tax return but it's on the short list for things to do earlier this year.

Waste Less

This isn't something measurable but I think we did a good job! In general, this goal was just about acquiring fewer items. We have so much junk in our house and I wanted to scale down, not keep getting things. The side effect - you spend less money as well and it feels really, really good. I want to keep on this path for sure and shift away from buying a lot of stuff to getting a few quality products that we'll really use.

Re-Coop Real Estate Expenses

This also went no where and it showed me that maybe it's time to leave this one aside. It's hard when you've invested a lot of money and time into something that just wasn't a good fit for you. I thought the referral program would be a good way for me get at least some of the cost back. However, this ended up being a dead end.

Do One Chore a Day

I feel like we're doing a lot of fails here? Anyways, I dropped this one about 4 days in. I realized, doing one little thing a day didn't really make sense. Chores go faster when you knock out a few things at once. I'm sure I might do one chore a day depending on how you define a chore (which also was a problem point for me) but I'd rather just say, I tried to be more helpful in keeping the house in good shape overall. I also feel like Dan and I do a great job of dividing a conquering. There are some things he always does, some things I also do, and some bigger cleaning days where we each just dive into a bunch of tasks to get something done.

Weekly Doggy Walk/Hike/Run

This is another one that's hard to quantify but I'm sure I did it. I made a point, especially later in the year, to take Harley out as much as I could. Generally this was more than once a week. Dan and I also love taking the dog out once or twice over the weekend. I wish more of these were hikes but just getting all of us out to walk around the neighborhood is better than nothing.

Weekly Date

This one definitely fell off near the end of the year but I know that, in general, Dan and I are great about spending time together. Sometimes it just not always feasible to go somewhere and spend extra money. With that said, we still went to a lot of shows of beer tasting and festivals. We definitely don't just sit at home all the time.

Secret Goal

So, writing this all up, it feels like I punted on a lot of the goals I had for last year.... but there's a good reason for it! Most of my energy went into this goal... which was to get pregnant. Being in my 30s, and spending so much of my life trying NOT to get pregnant, made me a little worried that this would be difficult. I got a pile of books on lifestyle changes to help this happen and I put a lot of effort into researching everything... and it worked! It took a few months but I got pregnant in October and we're expecting a baby this summer!!

In relation to all of the goals above though (except the Spartan Race, we didn't start trying until AFTER because I knew pregnancy would affect my racing) - they all took a back seat to this. Hormones are crazy yo. Going off birth control was jarring to my system and it was difficult to adjust to all the normal hormones flowing back into my system. It was nothing compared to pregnancy though - morning sickness and fatigue definitely plagued my first trimester and it can be really hard to plan a date night or go on a hike or make Etsy listings when you don't feel good. I think anyone who is pregnant and already has little kids is a saint. I don't know how you balance it all. I was fortunate that working from home and not having other humans to take care of meant that I could focus on resting and feeling ok. 

This sounds like a lot of complaining but what I really want to say is that I'm very excited! I have always wanted to be a mom and when it seemed like our lives were in a place where we could support a child, I was anxious to get started. I have so many ideas and plans for this little one and definitely some blog posts to go along with it. 

As long as I'm feeling ok, you can expect a lot more blogging this year as we get ready for this big life change!

A Year of Athleticism

A particular good day at the gym

Last year, as part of my movement to build my habits, I created some monthly goals to really push the best out of myself. August was Athletic August and I had a serious of things I wanted to focus on over the course of the month:

• Do 30 burpees a day
• Do Pull-ups 
• Work out every day of the month
• Show a noticeable increase in the things I do already
• Try to do well on my kickball league
• Take advantage of promotional month at a gym we'd been wanting to try

For the most part, it all went really well. Nothing was perfect but it was probably an A- (except pull ups - anything that ends in "up" is still the bane of my existence). 

The biggest thing though - was that it didn't end when August ended. I used the month as a jumping off point for a whole lifestyle centered around fitness.

AND GUESS WHAT - I had the foresight to take a picture of how I looked on August 1st 2017!!!!

8/1/17

Honestly, not too shabby. To be really real here - I wasn't out of shape when I started this project. I was already going to the gym about 3 days a week and going on a hike or walk another 2. So 5 times a week, I was doing something active. I ate healthy. I was skinny. For most people, this was already goals.

But I had bigger goals. I always wanted to get the Spartan Trifecta. It went on and off so many resolution lists. I wanted to be better at things - faster, lift heavier, climb harder climbs, have more endurance. Athletic August wasn't about being really awesome for a month - it was about making a habit of fitness so that it was easy to keep it all going.

So here's where we are a year later!!

8/1/18

It's probably hard to notice a lot of differences but I can definitely tell. There's more muscle definition, I'm standing more confidently, I love the shape of my arms, and, most importantly, my clothes still fit. My goals have never been to lose a ton of weight - I always wanted to just build muscle, but it goes both ways. You can work out a lot without becoming stick thin or turning into a hulk. Those things take a lot of focused effort. You can exercise and still look feminine.

But that's not all! Obviously people work out to be really sexy, but like I said, I already started out fit. Changing my looks wasn't my main goal and frankly, it's not the main thing I got out of this.

So here are all of the other things I've learned or accomplished from my year of fitness.

Actually Work Out Everyday - OR MORE!

We even workout on vacation! - like once

In the lead up to the Spartan Beast, I really wanted to push my fitness to the max as well as challenge my endurance (it was a half marathon length obstacle race after all). I really wanted to try to get to the gym or do something every day. Some days I'd come home from the gym and still have energy so I'd pop on a workout video that was more cardio and stack my workout. That would give me two hours of high intensity fitness time.

By the last few weeks I was doing 12-14 workouts a week and just feeling like an actual beast. I'm sure I should have taken more rest in there. Some of the second workouts were yoga or walks so it wasn't all craziness. I'd also take it easier if I felt like my body was actually maxed out.

Stay at the Gym We Tested

I mentioned that we did a 30 day gym trial that August. Well, near the end of that month, we decided to sign up for a 6 month membership... which then rolled into another 6 months. We're pretty regular fixtures at the gym now and the owner jokes that we're on the lifetime membership plan. We've made a bunch of friends at some of the regular classes we attend, participated in competitions with them, and are part of their obstacle racing team. When we don't show up for a few days, they ask where we've been (which is actually tricky when "No Excuses" is in the name of the gym). It's nice to mix something I love with a sense of community and having my fitfam has been a big positive presence in my life.

Do What You Love

For the longest time, that was rock climbing for me. I did it because it was fun and I never took myself too seriously. I would constantly learn things and slowly improve but mostly I liked the level I was at because I enjoyed those climbs.

However, over time, I noticed that the climbing community isn't ok with that. I constantly felt pressure to be more and do more. If I didn't jump on the extra climbing wagon, I was left behind and made to feel less than because climbing wasn't my whole life. It finally came to a head when someone actually told me that I couldn't possibly know something about climbing that they didn't because it wasn't my number 1 hobby. That definitely began a lot of reflection for me and I realized that after joining NXPT and feeling a really supportive gym community, it made the lack of that in the climbing world glaring to me. I wasn't excited about doing something where I constantly felt judged or like I could never give it enough. It wasn't fun anymore and after almost a decade, I decided to no longer be a rock climber.

I like being in a community where we hold each other up

 Hit a Wall and Climb Over It

At some point, in the beginning of this year, I was worried I was hitting a wall. I knew I hadn't reached my max potential but I felt like things I'd been working on for months were still challenging. I mentioned it to one of the trainers and to Dan and they were both like "nonsense." They started putting heavier weights in my hands during classes or pushing me to push harder during my workouts. I started attending the lifting class more regularly. I used any frustration and motivation to fuel my climbs. I dug deep and after a few weeks of really pushing myself I noticed I'd pushed through that wall. On days when barbells were set up, I noticed I wasn't always going for the lightest ones, I was burning calories faster on the assault bike, I was non stop on my ab work while others had to rest. It felt good to jump over my hurdle and seeing that progress helped motivate me to continue to want to push harder.

Within the last couple of months, I really shattered that wall. I noticed that I was keeping up with some of the really athletic members of the gym when we did free flow circuits. I finished the warm-up first one class. I started lifting weights I couldn't even consider before. It felt great to go from feeling stuck to feeling like I'd risen to the top of the athletes at the gym.

Weight Gain

Take a look at my before and after pictures again. I look pretty much the same right? Well, I actually gained about ten pounds in the last year. That is 10 pounds of pure muscle gain. It's also one of those reminders that weight is not the most important thing. There has been this chart going around about acceptable weight for you height. 1) it's bullshit to begin with 2) according to the chart, I'm overweight. There is not a doctor or mentally sound person who would think I was overweight. That's because weight doesn't tell you everything. If you want to start a fitness plan, I'd recommend doing a body scan every few months to track how your size changes. These will help you determine how much of your weight is fat vs. muscle and more accurately reflect the changes in your body. Don't have access to a scanner or can't afford one? You can do it manually by measuring key areas of your body and tracking that over time. There are a lot of resources online to help you do that.

Power of Positivity

When I started Athletic August last year, I wasn't really in a great place. In hindsight, I was probably depressed. I had so little confidence, I was upset about several losses in my life, and I was feeling generally unsure about a lot of things. By the end of the month, I could tell I was already in a better place. A year later, I feel like a different person. Working out makes you feel better mentally. It gives you more confidence (not just because you look better and are stronger). Sometimes I feel like my friends here are still getting to know me because the me today is more like me than the me they met a year or two ago. It also makes me feel like its ok if they don't like this side of me. I'll be ok.

And sometimes you just feel better when you get to punch something

TRIFECTA

An obstacle I'd never been able to do before

Of course this is my pride and glory. The Trifecta has been a goal for years and I kept thinking that I couldn't really do it or I'd never really be fit for it. A couple of years ago, I'd decided that it probably just wasn't ever going to happen for me. Joining NXPT changed that for me. It brought out a fire and showed me I really can do more than I think I can. The longest race, the Beast, definitely was the hardest thing I've ever done. I definitely walked off the course ready to retire from Spartan. A few months later - I'm still on indefinite hiatus but I know I'll be back on those courses some day. I just don't recommend doing a Beast at elevation - that was too much for me.

Other Accomplishments

4th class of my 6 class day

I've also been able to do so, so much more. I finally got to the top of the rope in class (which is scary when you have a cement floor 8 feet below you). I've been able to run up hills (something that I always claimed to be allergic to). My Spartan finishes were in the top 10% - amazing for someone who loves to quote Baymax's "I am not fast." People at the gym see me as someone who works out hard. I did a whole day of working out (6 classes) FOR FUN. This year has been completely crazy for me in a good way. I did so many things I was afraid of and it's made me so much stronger physically and mentally.

Lastly, it's probably important to mention that this has all been great for Dan and I as a couple. We did all the Spartan races together and try to go to the same gym classes as much as possible (one of us insists on getting her beauty sleep which makes it difficult). I've heard frequently that working out together is great for couples in which case we're in for a long haul. It's also nice to have someone to always push me. On my own, I probably wouldn't always be as motivated as I should be but since Dan eats exercise for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, he doesn't really put up with my crap when I say I'm too tired to go to the gym. So... thanks my love!

So What's Next???

That's a great question! And I don't have a lot of answers for it. The past two months since I finished the Trifecta have been meh for me in regards to the gym. I think between finishing a really difficult goal, going on vacation, and getting a lot more responsibility at work, it's been really hard for me to get back into this intense gym mindset. I also don't have a goal right now. There are some good reasons for that, but I'm starting to think that a solid goal is really what I need. I'm a goal oriented person and while I love working out, it can be hard for me to go to the gym just because.

I'm thinking about signing up for another half marathon so I can focus around that goal. I also have some ideas on how to train better knowing everything I know now and I'm excited to try it out.
I still have to make a decision but it seems like a good idea. Otherwise (or in addition to), I need to start making some training goals for myself so I can keep up all the hard work I've accomplished in the last year.

I also think some basic goals around exercises I don't like would be good. I still struggle with pull-ups and push-ups (those up exercises kill me) and making a solid effort to improve them would be really good for me. In fact, I think I'm going to start thinking about all the things I struggle with and don't like and come up with some plans to target those trouble areas.

Guess I might be doing this noise again

Also, I haven't (or have... whichever) forgotten about the World Cup Eating Challenge. Life has been crazy lately and it's frankly just not high on my priorities. I'm trying to focus on a few different things that are making it harder for me to want to take on a new project.

WCEC 2018 #1 - Spain

Spain is one of my favorite countries food wise. I've been there twice and I'm obsessed with the tapas and the wine and don't even get me started on Iberico ham. I've done Spain a couple of times now and I feel like I always do Paella. I LOVE Paella but the point of this challenge has always been to step outside the box and try something new.

My original plan was to try to make something completely different that I hadn't done before, but I ended up making empanadas. I have made these before but I was really compelled to do it again.

You see, my mom was an amazing cook. She also tried to make new things and experiment a lot. When I was at my dad's house a couple of weeks ago, my brother encouraged me to go through the freezer and see if anything was in there that I could use for my cooking.... and I found a few packages of empanada wrappers. It felt like a sign that is what I should make.

Like I said, I've made empanadas before, but usually I've just thrown together whatever I wanted for the filling. I decided to find a more authentic recipe this time. Empanadas are kind of a funny dish. Almost every country has some form of them from gyoza in Japan to potstickers in China, from empanadas in Latin countries to pastels in Brazil... they're all over the place (there are actually several dishes that are like this and I'm always more amazed by the country to country similarities rather than the differences when I do this project).

This means that in looking up authentic recipes, I found a lot from other countries as well. I finally landed on a recipe that felt more Spanish. I'm going to ignore that it's from notoriously famous English chef Gordon Ramsey and just trust that he's international enough to know a Spanish empanada from an Argentinian one.

Here is the recipe if you'd like to try it. 

I made a few changes though. First, I ground my own beef. I really wanted to add another level to this since I was using pre-made dough so... I made my own meat. I actually got an meat grinder as a wedding gift and it's something I haven't used enough. So when I had a big roast, I decided to cut off the end of it and grind it up for the filling. It ended up being 3x the amount of meat in the recipe so I tripled everything.

In the end, I found the filling as it was to be a little bland. I didn't put in as many onions or chili flakes as the recipe would have needed (because Dan doesn't like those things) which probably contributed that. I ended up adding some chili powder and paprika to bring up the flavor profile and it made a great difference. I don't know if that's authentic but I know how important seasoning is to food and I'd rather have something taste great than be 100% accurate.

I love that this recipe included chimichurri too. It's one of my favorite sauces and it's just perfect to add some brightness and acid to heavy things like meat and empanadas.

If you end up using this recipe, you may want to get a kitchen scale. They're not very expensive but they're the best for accurate baking or if you're using a recipe from all the enlightened countries that use the metric system. Grams just make sense in general though because measuring cups can be hard to read but the scale doesn't lie. It keeps the recipe spot on - just be sure to tare out any measuring devices.

And that's the start of the World Cup Eating Challenge! It wasn't very complicated but any sort of pastry is a labor of love and assembling these guys took longer than I expected. I still have more wrappers and filling so I plan on making another batch for the weekend. They're great for a quick lunch or easy protein snack.

The New World Cup Eating Challenge 2018

And so begins a series of blog posts! I've been bad at posting this year, mostly because I didn't have a lot to say. When things are good and I'm not chasing any specific blog series, it's hard to just write.

That is about to change. 4 years later, I'm revisiting one of my favorite projects.... the World Cup Eating Challenge! I started this for the 2014 World Cup and loved it. The idea was to eat or cook something from a country that was playing on any given day. It was challenging but fulfilling. I had a lot of failures and some successes and all in all I left the challenge with a few things: a bigger knowledge of global cuisine, a better idea of what works and doesn't in the kitchen, and a whole lot of content for my blog.

But Nikki the World Cup has already started and I've seen nothing from you! What's going on?

I know, I'm totally failing this year. 

I went into this year with the most ambitious plans. I created a crazy spreadsheet over a month ago and mapped out where I was going to focus on the countries that I was least familiar with or totally failed at last time around. I had a great plan... and then it all fell apart for a few reasons.

Life! 

Just after I got this plan all put together, I got a great surprise. I got a promotion at work! It was definitely some good news but with it, came more work. I got sidetracked by my new responsibilities and kept figuring that I still had a lot of time until the World Cup to organize my project.

Dan and I also went on an amazing vacation! I have no complaints there but we all know how vacations go - in addition to the time you're away, you're also getting work ready for your leave and then when you get back you have a lot to do to catch up. Throw in things like laundry and packing/unpacking and there's definitely extra to do. Once I was all settled in from this, I realized the games were starting the next day. That's definitely not enough time to plan out the variety of meals I wanted to do. 

On top of all that, I was turning right around to head out for a family/work combo trip that would keep me out of my kitchen for several days. There would be options to eat out of course but I really had wanted to cook the meals and going out of my way to find places that worked, didn't seem ideal.

Diversity 

You'd think that with all the countries in the World Cup, diversity would be a non-issue. However, my plan to start with the countries I was least familiar with, led to a list of African and Eastern European countries. In my initial searches for dishes, I started to notice a pattern. Many of the countries signature dishes were very similar to each other. While I'm sure there are noticeable differences in the seasonings and ingredients when you compare them all side by side, it would still have been a lot of stews, fried pastries, and rice dishes in a short amount of time.

I really wanted to focus on the really key dishes instead of picking something smaller just to change it up. I was trying to map out ways to change up the order I did the countries to space it out, but to keep with trying to eat the dishes on the day they played, it was hard to make it work.

Time, Money, and Waste

The last issue was just out of practicality. As much as I loved this project - I kept running into an issue in the past. If I'm cooking a different dish every day for 3 weeks, I'm going to be making more food than Dan and I can possibly eat.

I've dealt with this before by inviting people over for dinner but the reality is that I still end up with too much food. Add this in with the fact that some of these dishes are time intensive, and it all becomes really impractical.

While, in general, I have more time and money than I did four years ago - I still have the overall goal of wasting less, and I like to use my free time for other hobbies, particularly my fitness.

So... What Does This Mean for the Challenge?

After thinking about how to deal with these obstacles without just trashing the whole project, I came up with a good solution:

Cook a dish from each country, but remove the constraint of cooking it on the day they play.

Obviously, if I can plan it that way, it would be more fun to eat a dish while watching a game and I want to try for that as much as possible. However, I have no intention of cooking these dishes every day in a row. My new plan is to give myself the whole summer to try something from the 32 countries. That gives me 2-3 days in between each to each leftovers, buy groceries, and just spread out the project.

Making this change has given me new excitement for this challenge and I'm excited to get to it!


In the meantime, here are some of my favorite posts from past challenges:
http://nikkilinc.blogspot.com/2014/06/world-cup-eating-challenge-day-4.html
http://nikkilinc.blogspot.com/2014/06/day-12-spain-world-cup-eating-challenge.html
http://nikkilinc.blogspot.com/2014/07/semifinals-day-1-brazilian-feijoada-and.html
http://nikkilinc.blogspot.com/2015/06/day-9-australia-world-cup-eating.html

32 Years Later

It's been a while since I've written! My Facebook page keeps reminding me that people probably want to hear from me. I've thought of different things to write but when I have a specific topic, I tend to be too busy to write at the time that topic is relevant. When I have a minute, I don't have any timely topics.

Well, it's my birthday and as I take another trip around the sun, it felt like a good time to share where I'm at and update people on life.

I like structure in my blog posts though so I'm going to do some general bullet points that kind of follow my resolution check-ins.

Spartan Trifecta / Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

This one has been going great. I already have two of the three races done. The third is in about 3 weeks and I'm getting very excited and anxious about it. It's crazy to work on a goal for so long and have it creep up on you.

In terms of training - it's definitely crunch time now. I've been trying to get as many workouts in as possible and I feel like I'm finally at a place with my fitness that I can do two workouts a day and give both my full effort. I try to listen to my body and take rest days when I can as well but I love the workouts I'm doing and it can be hard to bench myself when I see something fun at bootcamp or new climbs being set up.

It's been really cool to track my progress. I'm lifting heavier, I'm moving faster, I'm climbing better - and sometimes all in the same day. I love workouts that can be quantified and it's great to do things that make it easy to see progress.

My biggest set back has been getting sick. I got the flu 3 times and 2 colds since winter. That's 5 weeks that I was set back from training. Pair that with every day stresses and obstacles to getting to the gym and that's a lot of missed training time. It can also be mentally difficult to want to do something but be physically unable to. It's hard to get back into a routine when it's thrown off like that.

That Getting Sick Thing

After the last flu, I was pretty frustrated. I can't keep getting sick so I started thinking of ways to stop it. I'm obviously getting a flu shot next year. I make sure to wash my hands before leaving the gym and any time I get home from a store. I've been taking vitamins and probiotics. I make Dan do this obsessive hand washing too. I bought anti-bacterial gel to keep in all my bags and wipes to clean my phone frequently. I'm hoping all of this will severely cut back how much I get sick!

One New Etsy Item a Week

This goal has been going so well. I follow a blogger who always says that doing creative things inspires more creativity. It's a self propagating circle. That's really how I feel about these cross stitch patterns. I haven't actually been doing one pattern a week - it's always been at least two and sometimes more. Making one pattern for me has led to other pattern inspirations. I would come up with themes or patterns that fit together as a package.

In the past four months, I've added about 40 new listings to my shop. That's definitely FAR exceeding the one pattern a week goal. I have a huge list of ideas still. For March I made many patterns around Women's History Month. I loved the idea of monthly themes but there were SO MANY great inspirational nerdy women to make into patterns, I carried it through to April. I could probably do it all year but I have a great theme idea for May (May the Force Be With You to finish out my Star Wars Poster series!!!). I love that it inspired so many ideas that I can come back to through out the year.

I still want to find ways to expand my shop to other sites and also include more than just patterns. I've been thinking that selling materials and tools to help with the stitching would be a good next step. Selling physical items will be more work but I feel like people will be more inspired to buy a pattern if some of the harder to find fabrics are in the same spot.

I also made a more Cross Stitch focused name, email account, and Instagram. It's been really cool watching my work translate to more sales. Right now my revenue is also about the same amount that I send to savings through a site called Acorns so it's cool to see that lined up. (Also, Acorns is amazing - let me know if you want to know more or get an invite link!)

Waste Less / Buy Less Stuff

It's definitely much harder to track a goal like this. I hope that I am wasting less but I don't have a good way to measure. I know that I've made a big effort to really plan out the perishables that I'm buying at the store so I'm not throwing away as much food. It definitely pangs a little when I still have to.

A big thing that has helped with the mentality has also been cleaning house. When we moved in, we piled a bunch of things in the garage. Many of those boxes have not been touched since - some not even since we moved from San Francisco! On those rare free weekends, Dan and I have been trying to go through and pare it down. There's a lot of work left to do but at the end of the day, we feel buried under our junk and don't want to add to it. It's helped us spend more money on experiences and less on "stuff."

Another thing that has helped has been letting items sit in my cart. I started doing this just to push off items to the next credit card cycle to make sure my monthly spending was in line. Having a few days or weeks to think about purchases has helped me decide if I want them. Generally, I've ended up only buying things that feel really necessary. The internet is great, but when it's so easy to buy something, it's also easy to get carried away.

Do One Chore a Day

I basically dropped this about one week in. Doing one thing every day can end up being much more stressful than helpful. I found myself putting off doing extra chores on days I wasn't as busy so I had something to do the next day. I would get really overwhelmed on days I was busy or traveling to "fit one more thing in." I often didn't know if something was big enough to qualify as a chore for the day.

I decided a better way to handle it was to help out as much as I could when I could. I liked that mindset a lot better than feeling overwhelmed by a well intentioned goal. If I have a free Saturday, I can knock out a bunch of chores and projects and that feels better than one a day.

I've also used a couple of vacation days to match with some of Dan's comped days off. It's nice to both have a week day to just tackle projects. As nice as it is to take a day off for a vacation, sometimes that just builds the stress of maintaining a house. On one of these days, we did a nice landscaping project and added a bunch of fruit trees to our yard. Technically, the end result has been one more chore for me to do, but I find checking the plants each day and the watering schedule to be really therapeutic.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

It's just after tax season which means we have money for a vacation!!! Like the rest of our lives, the vacation is planned around our Spartan Race! It's the week after our race and I've begun referring to it as our SpartanMoon. We are doing a relaxing cruise in the Caribbean. Unlike our cruise last year, we're going to be lighter on the sightseeing (just one little excursion or beach time in each port) and enjoy the activities on the boat more. We obviously did as much as we could on the boat last time but a summer Caribbean cruise just offers so many more activities and I know it will be the right kind of fun, relaxing trip we'll want as our reward for reaching our goals.

Weekly Doggy Walk/Hike/Run

We've been really good about this! I'm sure we've missed some weeks but even when we can't do it as a family, I try to take Harley for a run or walk on my own.

In general, hikes are our favorite. In the lead up to our race, we've been trying to do some that are more challenging, including multiple hikes at a time. There's always the worry that it might be too much for the dog (and we would definitely quit and carry her back to the car if it was), but usually she's in better shape at the end of a hike than we are.

Weekly Date

I'm not sure we've made a good active effort to go on an actual date every week. We have been getting out more together. Sometimes it's to dinner or to go do something. However, sometimes it's just working out together. A friend told me once that couples that work out together stay together longer. I don't know if it's true but I like the sentiment. Dan and I both are pretty serious when we workout but when he's at the gym with me, I like to be more silly and make faces at him which is more fun for me at least. We also take fun pictures after class of us playing on the equipment and they turn out pretty cute. Maybe after the race, we'll do more actual dates... in addition to the gym.

Me Time

It's also always been important to focus on myself. I'm going to roll this together with my reading goals because I realized last year that reading really is "me time." A lot of times I'm just trying to grab a few pages when I can but I love when I have an afternoon off and good book and I can just read for a few hours.

I've also been using more of my free time to complete my own cross stitching. In the past, it's taken me almost a year to complete a page of stitching. Now it's more like 1-3 months and I'm learning more tricks to speed it up and increase my quality.

I also just love taking care of my house and going on walks with Harley. It's amazing how my appreciation for the simple things in life increases as I get older. I've been enjoying going out less and less. Really, my ideal time is a some wine with a small group, Dan, or even just myself.

And Everything Else

In general, life is just really good. 2017 was a really hard year for me and in hindsight, I was probably depressed from the loss of my mom and a couple of friendships. I'm in such a better place now and even though I still get sad or lonely sometimes, I have the tools to work through it better. I've made more friends and joined a gym that feels like it's becoming a real community for me. I pushed through a lot of my issues last year by pushing myself to do things that challenged me and gave me a sense of accomplishment. That helped me be better with other people as well.

It's also put me in a place where I just don't have any room for negativity or meanness. Just because I'm in a good place now, doesn't mean I'm not hurt by people, frustrated by negative experiences, and set back by bad days. Instead I try to cut out the crap and look over the road block to continue to focus on what I can do to grow.

I often have people ask how I do so much or tell me I'm lucky or wonder how I stay motivated. Personally, I'm very goal oriented. This blog is a part of that. I started sharing my new years resolutions about 10 years ago (WOW WHERE DOES THE TIME GO??!?!!) as a way to feel accountable and stick to my goals. Generally, I accomplish maybe 70-80% of what I set out to do. To me, that's room to grow, but I also know that I'm 70-80% better than how I started out the year. The best thing I can say is to find the thing that motivates you, keep yourself accountable, make lists, tell people what your goals are so they can cheer you on and keep you on track. Join groups or meet ups that align with your goals. Follow motivating people on social media. Lean into friendships that support you and have like minded views. Lean away from people who bring you down and drain you.

So that's all for now. Just a collection of thoughts about where I am right now. If you're a reader I don't see often, I hope you appreciated the update and if you're a reader who just likes my blog and what I'm doing, I hope you continue to find my stuff interesting! I definitely have some ideas for posts but it's been so hard to find time to write with the work and and all these things I'm trying to do.

Side note: After writing this, I went back and read some of my other Resolution posts. It's funny how so many things I wanted to work on over time (and didn't always get right) are such an integral part of my life now (One was to workout twice a week. I'm working out twice day no! I laughed a little at that one). Some of it is through concentrated effort but a lot of it is just being in the right place and the right time with the right support. It's got me thinking of another post idea that gets at the heart of it. Food for thought!!

Nailed it!

Why I Run Obstacle Races

This is the first in a multi-part series about Obstacle Course Racing.

Oh you were expecting the 2017 look back I promised? Yea, me too, but that hasn't been what I felt like writing so here's this instead!

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you know I've been doing a lot of obstacle races lately. It's almost like that's my whole life right now.

WELL IT IS.

But why? Why has this been the sole focus on my 2018 and many prior years leading up to this?

Well, Obstacle Racing has always been the whole point. Finishing the Trifecta is my main Resolution this year. It also was in 2015 but I wasn't able to get it done. Frankly, I didn't have the right tools or focus to even try, but it's something I've been thinking about and building towards for a long time. Everything I've done fitness-wise has been for that goal.

I don't even think those are real running shoes

It all started after I joined the climbing gym. While the gym had some competitions, they were more on a fun level and involved self reporting that was easy to fake. I loved them but I wanted something more. I've always been an ok climber so I thought about how I could apply that to something else. Around the same time, obstacle racing started blowing up. I knew what I had to do.

I did my first obstacle race 5 years ago. Like almost exactly 5 years to the day. The race was for women only and obstacle wise was really easy... but I struggled to run the 5k distance. My friends were great sports and kept running back to check on me but it was embarrassing to get out of breath so easily. I realized that if I wanted to do more of these, I had to get better at running.

I hate running.

Photo Ops: an excuse to take a break from running

It might seem weird for someone who does so many races, including 4 half marathons, but I can't stand running. I've only ever signed up for running races to make sure I trained my running... in order to do obstacle races. I started with 5ks and when those got easy I moved to 10ks. Those are still a challenge for me but I moved onto half marathons anyways. Really though, 10k is my running distance sweet spot - it's long enough to be challenging for me but not so long that I'm miserable at the end like the half marathons. I have room to improve and it feels doable.

Wait, but you did 4 Half Marathons?

Right? I never wanted to do a half marathon. I didn't think it would build character. I didn't want to do the training groups my friends signed up for. I didn't want to run 13.1 miles... but the longest Trifecta race is 12-14 miles. I needed to be able to do that if I wanted to get the Trifecta. So I signed up for a Half Marathon and I trained and I did it three more times. Even though they took me forever and the training was my whole life, I did them and I get that knowledge that it's something I'm capable of doing.

Not here for the running

Ok so why now?

The Trifecta has been a bucket list item for me for so long. It was something I kept putting off. The cost of the races and the time I would need to put into training felt like too much. It felt like something I could always do later while also knowing that my life would only keep getting busier in years to come.

The past year has been full of changes for me. 2017 was really rough personally. I hit some of my lowest points emotionally. Exercise was the way I got myself out. Challenging myself to work out more and more helped get me out of the depression I was facing. Seeing myself complete local obstacle races with faster and faster times showed me that I might really have something here. Joining a local gym that had the right training and a motivating community was the final push to put me in the right place to go for the thing I've always wanted to do.

I hit a wall and I climbed over it

Being Uncomfortable

So Uncomfortable

Having completed 2 of the 3 Trifecta races has given me a lot of time to think about why I do this. The 4 hours I was running those courses were full of contemplation... specifically "Why am I putting myself through this?"

The owner of our gym likes to say that Spartan races make him uncomfortable. Obviously running a 5-8 mile race on a windy and dry Southern California day with numerous obstacles in your path is uncomfortable. You're dirty, you're probably cut up and growing some bruises. You're getting hungry and definitely thirsty. At some point you might think "I'm over this."

But you're getting through it, aren't you? It's not easy but you're doing it and you're doing alright. You're passing people. You flew through that last obstacle. You messed up the spear throw but those were the fastest 30 burpees you've ever done. Your knees are bleeding. You finished a troublesome obstacle for the first time. The guy next to you just kicked you going over a wall. But now you're finished!!!

And that's the thing... you win and you lose along the course. Some things go well and some things don't, but you get through it.

...but smiling anyways

You know what else that sounds like? 

It sounds a lot like life.

Things don't always go the way you want them to. That used to drive me crazy. I've been notorious for getting upset at things easily. At some point recently, that's really melted away. 2017 was a hard year. I lost my mom. I lost two friendships I thought would be lifelong. I lost my self esteem. All those things were really hard to deal with, but I survived them. It made me realize that the little things aren't worth getting upset over.

It's the same with obstacle racing. You might scrape your leg on the first obstacle. Well that stinks but you still have several miles and dozens of obstacles to go. If you get upset about this now, you won't make it through. You need to save that energy for the big things. In one of my races, I got a horrible cramp in my leg with half a mile left to go. That's the kind of thing that can take you out of a race. Dan helped rub out my leg and I limped the rest of the way and I finished because I was not about to let my stupid leg stop me.

Obstacle racing and the training leading up to it has changed everything. Being physically uncomfortable makes it easier to be mentally uncomfortable. Also, you just feel like a bad-ass when you accomplish these things. Someone posted recently that if you're unhappy at the beginning of a journey, you won't be happy at the end. That hasn't been true at all. I was at my lowest the first half of 2017. My journey isn't over but I feel like a different person.

Ready to sign up? Great! Stay tuned for Part Two: So You've Signed Up for an Obstacle Race.