Outgoing Octopus October - 2017 Update #10

This month was about getting back on track. The migraines and neck pain I experienced in September really threw me off my goals and all the progress I'd made in August. Luckily, I was able to get those under control by improving my posture while working and recognizing my migraine triggers. Good thing too - October had A LOT going on... so let's get to it.

Designated Date Time/ Family Time

So much of this month was spent with family. Traveling home for a wedding for each of our families meant a lot of time spent with those we love. There's also just something about weddings that brings out so much magic and joy.

I had such a great time getting to know Dan's family better as well. It's the first time we've seen them since our own wedding and now, a year later, it's really sunk in that this is my family too. It was also really great to meet a lot of the extended family that had liked our big life event Facebook posts. 

Lastly, it was our one year wedding anniversary! I can and can't believe it's been a year. It's somehow managed to be long and fast at the same time. I've had some big life hurdles this year and I'm so lucky to have someone like Dan by my side to get through them. It definitely would have been a much harder year than it was. On a lighter note... obviously that was a date night for us! Otherwise, we have been so busy it's been hard to have time for just the two of us. It's definitely something to work on as we close out the year. 

It's also cool enough now to bring back the family walks! There are so many hikes we didn't do before it got too hot. I'm hoping to knock some of those out before we end this year. 

Stick to a Regular Fitness Schedule

my outdoor gym!

This one really peaked in August and hasn't gotten back to that level. I was averaging 7-10 workouts a week that month. Now it's like 3. I really hit a wall after my migraine in September. It took me two weeks to really bounce back from the after effects. I felt a couple of other migraines coming on in October but now that I could read the symptoms I was able to take some medicine and hide in darkness which stopped them from getting really bad. The break from my fitness schedule did it's damage though and it was hard to get into the same rhythm (the cold Dan brought home didn't help either)...

But no excuses! November is all about fixing that (we'll get there later). I always have an idea of my next goal at the end of the month before and knowing that I wanted to tackle this again in November helped me end October strong. Even though we were on the other side of the country the last week of the month, we managed to get into the gym one day and go on a long hike another. We probably could have done more but it was already more of an effort that we usually make on trips.

Meal Planning

Crock pot Gourmet

It's funny how this has actually started to feel more natural as I've made myself busier. Part of the month goal involved me inviting friends over a little more. Generally it was an extension of meeting them at the gym or something. I didn't want to get home from a workout and then have to worry about cooking and not getting to socialize so I planned out slow cooker meals that I could set up ahead of time. It meant food was ready after our workout AND I got to talk to my friends instead of hiding in the kitchen. It's definitely made me want to use that strategy more. It will also be nice now that it's getting cooler and a lot of soups can be made easily in the slow cooker.

Take an Annual Trip with My Husband

This month actually had us going on two mini trips - one to each of our families for weddings. While driving to LA is no big feat, going out to Ohio is something we really haven't done enough of. We've had a crazy couple of years since our last trip but part of the reason was also that the first trip wasn't great for me. I had been sick the whole week and paired with the 20 degree weather, I just always felt freezing and cooped up inside.

This past trip was much better. It was twice as warm and 40-50 degrees was something I could deal with a little better. We went on a long hike through some of the most gorgeous nature I'd ever seen. We were also there for his sister's wedding so I was able to meet a lot of the family members that weren't able to make the trip for our wedding. Lastly, it was just nice to spend more time with his family. With the loss of my mom, I ache for those connections more and getting to bond with them was something that felt really nice. I'm excited to have them come out to California again soon and it won't be another 3 years until we go out to Ohio again.

Read a Book a Week

I crushed it this month! While I did read 2 books just on the Ohio trip alone (so much airplane time!), I was already ahead for the month before that. It feels awesome to get a lead again. Focusing on fun, quick reads like I wanted to helped a lot. I also chipped away at an audiobook during my driving and I plan on continuing that habit. I was going to use this lead on my goal as an opportunity to start reading books that I've been interested in but were worried would take longer... and then I remembered it's my favorite book time of the year!

I use Goodreads to track all of my reading, make challenges, and create those cool little lists that I post here each month. One of my favorite things about the site though are their annual Goodreads awards. I always try to read as many of the books as possible which is pretty tough in the 4 weeks of voting. This year I tried keeping track of 2017 books as they were coming out. It means I've already read 5 of the books... which unfortunately is about how many I get anyways without trying.

Oh well! I've already made my library lists so now it's all about getting as many more read as possible so I can vote accurately! If I can hit 7 books again this month, I'll definitely feel good about my votes. 

Nominees!!!!! 

Me Time

Me time has always been an odd goal for me. I love being around people and working from home gets a little lonely sometimes but despite that I still feel like sometimes I just need me space. Even though I work from home, I'm still working so it's not it's time to just unwind from everything else I have going on.

This month was a lot about knowing when to push for the "Outgoing" goal and when to just say no because I need that break from everything. I think it went really well. I tried really hard to find a balance. I fit more friend time into week days so that I could save some weekend time for me. I tried to not book things on back to back days so that I could have a break if I needed.

I also used that free time a little more productively. Obviously I read a lot. I also worked on my Etsy shop so there are more listings. Lastly, I made some big strides on my cross stitch. I'd love to give it to Dan for our 2nd Anniversary (cotton) but it's FAR from done.

Outgoing Octopus October

My original plan was to make a list of 8 things I did to be more outgoing this month. I quickly realized that would be weird. I don't want people to think I'm doing things for a list or a little goal. The point was more about building habits that strengthen friendships and help me make new ones.

So instead, I'm going to generally talk about the types of things I did.

For starters, I made an effort to be there more. I think we've all been in situations where we're casually invited to things. Little things like "Who wants to grab a drink tonight?" I said yes more to those... and it made me realize how many times I don't show up. It feels little but it adds up to missing out on a lot. While it was only a couple more instances of saying yes... they were really fun times that I would have missed out on because it was too far of a drive or I wanted to stay in.

I also tried to make more of my communities. I'm in some group chats. I went to a big college and small high school that have a lot of alumni in San Diego. I'm a member of 3 gyms. I have a whole additional family in law that I acquired a year ago. I used these connections more to socialize whether it was going to alumni events, gym events, or just being friendlier and joking around more with all of the above.

Lastly, it was a lot about just deepening relationships I already have. Sometimes when I'm feeling sad or left out I think "maybe I just need to make new friends." That's a horrible attitude. Friendships go both ways and while I hate feeling like I'm always the one to instigate plans, I know I need to sometimes. I invited friends out and over more than I had been. It reminded me that this is something I used to do ALL THE TIME. And then I stopped. I forgot how much I liked doing it. It reminded me that it's important for me to make the effort to maintain my friendships as well.

This was all exactly what I needed this month. I think it was the perfect timing too. I had a lot of hurt and heartbreak in the past year and it really affected me. In hindsight, I was probably a little depressed about all of it. Because I'm generally really positive, it was hard to see that I wasn't being as friendly or making the same kind of effort to show up and make plans because I was hurt. I was afraid of rejection. I had all these walls up that are so unlike me. If I had tried this  6 months ago, it would have been hard to overcome all of that doubt. This timing was better though because I'd built up my confidence more through my exercise, my goals, my amazingly supportive husband, and those great friends that always reached out to me even if I wasn't making the effort.

It feels good to feel like I'm more myself and I'm happy I was in a place to even start this month's goal. The fact that it went so well puts me in a good spot to keep it up and stay in a great place.

No Excuses November

Part of the delay in posting this, was figuring out the best way to wrap my head around this goal. It's a combination of things and it's not entirely clear to me either.

So... I think the best way to sum it up is that this month is about doing things when you're able to instead of putting them off. It's kind of a combination of several of the past months goals. There's a few specific areas I want to focus on:

- Fitness! Of course. It's not a total coincidence that our new gym is called No Excuses PT. The last two months have been very excuse filled for me. I had migraines, a cold, and traveling. While I take my health seriously, I definitley milked those excuses for what they were worth. Not ok. Even if I'm not feeling great I still should do something small like take the dog for a walk or doing a home workout.

- Chores! I'm the worst at chores that aren't cooking. I want to get better at just doing them before they get worse and take longer.

- Real Estate and Etsy! Making more of an effort to do outreach and build my businesses.

- Friends! Keeping up with last month, I don't want to just make excuses for not doing things. I know I can't do everything but I want to try to be there when I can.

The point is... I can always find a reason to not do something so maybe it's time to find reasons TO do them instead. This week, for example, I've been feeling sluggish. While I still made time for climbing and walking the dog, I thought about not going to the bootcamp gym. My excuse was resting for a 10k I'm doing this weekend.... but that's not a great reason. It's not like I've been training for this race anyways and today's workout had very little leg in it. I decided to just go and in the end, it gave me that energy boost I'd been missing most of the week.

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That's it for this month! November is looking to be as busy as October was but I'm not going to let that distract me from goals and getting things done. One week in, I've already managed to knock out a lot in terms of my fitness, cooking experiments, and making time for friends. Now if I can round out the business side of things, this will be an awesome month.