2nd Trimester Updates

I don't want you to think this blog is all baby posts. I've actually been working on something really cool and informative. I started the post and had SO MUCH information that I realized it would make more sense as two posts... and as I was working on the first part, I realized that was really long too and it should actually be a series. I'm not sure how to break it up yet so I think I should write the whole thing and then figure it out... so there's been some delay. In the meantime, here's an update on me though!

Third Trimester!!!

I'm 2/3 of the way through my pregnancy! It's exciting to hit the final stretch and the last three months have been a world different than the first three. They say the second trimester is the best trimester and so far it feels right. Now that I'm starting my third trimester, I still feel really good but I can tell my body is turning a corner and things are getting a little less comfortable. It's changing slowly so I'm trying to still enjoy the times I feel great.

Energy

I didn't realize how tired I was the first trimester, until I wasn't anymore. First trimester fatigue is kind of like depression. You're not just tired - you don't want to do annyyyttthiiinnngggg. Being tired or sleepy is one thing but all I was able to do most of the time was watch bad reality tv and read things online. I didn't even have the energy to focus on good tv or read a book.

Now my energy is amazing most days. I've always been someone who crashes in the afternoon so it's hard to tell if my 4pm sleepiness is pregnancy or just my normal internal clock. the rest of the day, I'm good. I've been able to double time my productivity at work and around the house which is great for preparing for baby (and finally changing my name!!!). I've loved being able to knock out projects and feel close to normal.

We even went on a hike!
I slept for like 2 days after this... but we did it!!

Dealing with Symptoms

Luckily, the second trimester is pretty symptom light! Despite having more energy, I still have days where I totally crash and just want to nap. They're more spread out and can be avoided when I go to sleep early and sleep well (which is harder to control). Other than that, it's just getting used to have a bigger body and some of the side effects that come from your body making room for baby. I won't get into the details but compared to morning sickness, it's all minorly inconvenient.

Exercise

This one is bittersweet for me. On one hand, I've been able to get back to the gym semi-regularly. It's nothing like what I was doing before but getting into class twice a week and sometimes making it to the YMCA to swim has felt so good. I honestly feel like being able to exercise and eat normally again have helped make the last few months of pregnancy really smooth for me. If I have future pregnancies, I'm definitely going to try to push through the first trimester a little harder because I do feel like the vegetables and working out help ease the discomfort no matter how much you don't want to try it at the time.

There are some downsides though. Pregnancy fitness can feel reallllyyyy limiting. I'm still able to do quite a bit but with every passing week, I find more things I need to modify. On one hand, burpees, pull ups, push ups, and planks were some of the first things I had to get rid of (DARN 😆 ), but it's also meant eliminating things I do enjoy (core work, heavy weight lifting, obstacle training). I go to a class twice a week that Dan teaches. He's made me my own workouts so I can go and see my friends but sometimes he forgets a modification for me or my workout is much shorter and I feel really left out. The hard part is that I'm still very strong... my body just can't take the impact of a heavy workout. So when I modify by lowering the weights, it ends up being too easy for me. It's great that I'm doing something but it's less exciting without the challenge. I'm really looking forward to being able to train again post-baby and I'm already thinking about some races for next year.

Body Image

Your changing body creates complicated feelings feelings during pregnancy. For the most part, I'm all about it. I know making a baby is an amazing crazy thing that our bodies can do and it's so impressive how we adapt to handle it. On the other hand, it's hard not to feel self conscious when clothes stop fitting and you're bigger than you've ever been (with months of growing still to go!!!).

Buying a bikini top while pregnant
does not inspire confidence.

The real issue with body image is that  your pregnancy doesn't occur in a vacuum. It's hard not to compare yourself to other pregnant women. When I see a bump photo, I check what week they're on and compare it to my own progress. Sometimes, I see someone bigger and I feel relieved but sometimes I see these tiny women who have gained like 5 lbs and have a belly the size of mine at 8 weeks and I feel like I let the cookies get out of hand. There is a yoga instructor I follow that gives me particular anxiety. She's about a month behind me and is always complaining about how big she's getting even though her bump is tiny and she says she's hardly gained any weight. I know we all have thoughts on our own bodies but someone in that position should realize how her comments make other pregnant women feel when they are gaining weight at a faster pace.

The other tough thing can be what other people say. For the most part, people tell me I look great or my bump is cute. I love hearing that I'm only gaining weight in my belly. I really don't like hearing "you don't even look pregnant." I've gained over 25 lbs so far. My body was super athletic before. It's not the same now. Hearing that I don't look pregnant makes me feel like I just let myself go instead of this other really awesome thing that my body is making. It's also hard hearing "wow you look big!" No woman, in any situation, ever wants to hear that. I already feel like I'm gaining weight a little faster than I should be, so it's a delicate situation. If you're ever wondering what to tell a pregnant woman - tell her she looks beautiful.

Kind of related to this - I saw some coworkers who are on the East coast. Many made comments about how big I was getting but one just said "I hope you have a good baby!" and then he felt uncomfortable like he said the wrong thing... but honestly that's a great thing to say too! I hope I have a good baby! Whether that means healthy or well behaved (or preferably both), I'm down for a good baby!

Mom Mode

AND I'm knitting a blanket!
Nesting so hard right now.

Anyone who knows me, knows I like to do a lot. I work full time (and I'm really good at my job), I cook dinner most nights, workout frequently, run an Etsy business, and have about 1708099 hobbies. I like to keep busy. I know I'll need to cut back on some things post baby but the one thing I've always respected about moms - most of the time, they seem like they're doing it all. I plan to still work and cook and exercise while raising the crap out of this baby. During the first trimester, when I was exhausted and sick, I kept thinking "how do people do this?" I couldn't imagine taking care of a baby and working and doing everything else I do, and what if I got pregnant again? It felt impossible.

Now that I have my energy back, I've been challenging myself to be like a mom. I love the days when I have the energy to get all my work done, make dinner, and get a bunch of things ready for the baby. When I'm tired and would rather take the easy option for dinner, I remind myself that tired isn't an excuse when you're a mom.

Don't get me wrong, I still let myself relax. I know this is my last stretch of freedom to relax before baby comes. It's all about balance. If I need to take a day to nap and rest my pregnant body, I do. If I feel like I have a lot to do and I'm just laying around because it's easy, I push myself to do the things. I'm practicing for mom mode and I think it's going alright.

Friends

In my last post, I felt like I was in a weird place with friends. It can be hard being pregnant - you're technically no longer childless (and you're definitely not as into the bar scene) but you don't really have a kid yet either so you can't organize play dates with your mom friends. It felt really lonely, but now, a few months later, it doesn't feel so bad. I think a lot of the issue in early pregnancy is that people don't know you're pregnant. In my case, I also didn't feel well. That can lead to a lot of self-inflicted isolation. I felt sick, I was hiding that I wasn't drinking, and I exhausted. Of course that didn't make me feel like a social butterfly. Now that my pregnancy is public knowledge, people check on me and I feel more social again. It's not as lonely as it was those first few months.

Still enjoying parties while pregnant (and sneaking out early for burritos and sleep)

I also made some headway on finding pregnant friends. A couple friends came forward and let me know they were also pregnant so I've had some people to talk to. I found a mom version of Tinder. So far I've just been trying to match with other pregnant ladies and I've gone a couple of friend dates that went really well. I'm building a tiny circle of future moms that will all have babies close in age to our little Piglet.

Missing Mom

A picture of my mom while pregnant

As most of you know, my mom passed away a couple of years ago. For most of the time since, I would burst into tears thinking about how she wouldn't be around when I had kids. She wanted me to have kids so badly. One of the last things she asked me was if I was planning on having a baby soon. I know she wanted to hold out until I was ready to start a family, but she just wasn't able to.

I'm not going to lie, doing this without my mom is hard. I wish I knew more about her pregnancies. She told me some stories but there was so much I never thought to ask. I wonder what her symptoms were like and if we are having similar experiences. I wish she was around to give me advice or to help those first couple of weeks. I know she would be helping me make Brazilian food for the shower instead of me needing to get those items catered. I know she would disagree with us not wanting to find out the gender. I'm sure she would have a million opinions on everything. She would love to see pictures of me with my bump.

It's a lot to handle. Pregnancy is full of emotions so I try not to dwell on it. With the anniversary of her passing recently and Mother's Day approaching, this time of year is always a little harder and I find myself forgetting I can't text her my weekly bumpdate more and more (thanks pregnancy brain!).

What's Next

Now that we're in the third trimester, things are pretty real. Baby has an 80-95% chance of survival if I went into labor right now (but don't worry, we're going to try to keep baby in the oven at least another 12 weeks). Anyways, it's time to really get ready for this kid's arrival.

We started our birth classes. Our hospital had a lot of options so we decided to do ones that were shorter, weekly classes. Closer to the due date, we'll also take a couple classes on things we'll need to know once baby arrives. I've been finishing up the third trimester and birth chapters of my pregnancy books and soon I'll start the baby ones.

We've been selling old furniture and other things we don't need so we can make space for baby. After the shower, we'll clear out the guest bed and really get cracking on the nursery. In the meantime, we're doing some other small house projects that will be harder to tackle with a new born, as well as just doing some spring cleaning in preparation for the baby shower and baby.

I have to admit, it still doesn't totally feel real. I understand that I am pregnant and there will be a baby in a few months and our lives will change, but having never done this before (or really having a baby close in my life), it's hard to wrap my head around what that will be like on a day to day basis. It's easy for me to be like "I'm going to not be pregnant anymore and there will be baby I have to breastfeed and take with me everywhere and then I'll get some sushi and have a glass of wine!" It's easier for me to understand the "not being pregnant anymore" aspect than the "baby you have to take care of all the time" part.

I know we'll figure it out and do great but it's crazy to think of what a big change this will be in our lives. It's one I'm very ready for, but also hoping baby is really easy going since I'll have a lot to figure out!

This little one will be real soon!!!