2013 Resolutions Revisted

About 5 years ago, I was going through a big change in my life and at a crossroads, I decided to make a list of some goals I had for myself. I'm the kind of person who, throughout the year, thinks of great Halloween costumes or New Years resolutions and then forgets them when the holidays get closer. I decided that year that I would keep track of my goals as I went along and on NYE, I posted a Facebook note with my resolutions for the next year. 

The result was amazing - having my resolutions in a public place made me feel accountable to them and I made sure to update throughout the year with my progress. All of my resolutions were completely realistic and while I didn't get 100%, I'd say it would be have been a B+ at least. The next year, I didn't do any such thing and I don't even know what my resolution was or if I even had one. The year after, in the midst of another change, I started my first blog and the resolution list became an annual post. Now that I write here, I thought I'd share that with you. 

The first resolution post is always a look back at my past year (and is actually something I slowly write during the course of the year because this is a journey not a finish line). My original 2013 resolution post is here. The big take away is that I realized after so many years of resolution lists - they started to look the same. There were so many that by nature were easy to try to do every year (travel somewhere new for example) that they were just tacked on there. I also realized that 2012 was my worst year for following my resolutions after traveling so much in 2011 . I decided to par it down and focus on one that I needed to do... be selfish.

I always felt like I needed to be in defense of this. It sounds terrible, right? Being selfish? For me, I just wanted to be better at saying no to things I didn't want to do, making time for myself, and not feeling so obligated to everything and everyone. As a single woman in my twenties, I shouldn't have felt like I was stretched so thin, but I did. I needed to fix this. Obviously, I would still try to be a good friend and be there for people or attend major events but I didn't want to feel as though I had to be at every single thing. I had people tell me it was a terrible idea and others who thought it was about time. 

A lot of the time, I forgot about saying no. Every now and then though, something would come up that I just did not want to do and the sense of obligation burned inside me... and I would remember my resolution and decide to do what I really preferred. There were some exceptions to this of course. I know some times being there for your close friends is more important and I made sure to do that when I needed to also. However, most of the time, just playing "if they were in my shoes" gave me more than enough reason to follow through on my selfish resolution. Every now and then I would stop and think "Did I alienate some people with my selfish maneuver?" The answer was almost always no. When it wasn't, a nice phone call or apology or clarification almost always cleared it up. 

Ironically, even without my big list of resolutions, I ended up doing a lot of the things that would have been on it: travel somewhere new (South Africa, Boston), do something adventurous (paragliding), read more books than the year before, pass an exam, figure out a workout schedule, eat better, take control of my romantic life (this is a more complicated thing in itself but I learned it was time to cut out people and situations that weren't good for me), be closer with family, be nicer, etc. The problem wasn't needing a list to get things done, it was needing the state of mind to put myself as a priority. To visit a country or city I'd been wanting to go to for years, to feel like I could do whatever I want without needing someone to hold my hand, realizing I wanted that anyways, not continuing to chase dead ends, letting go, and making decisions about my life that make me happy - because when it comes to that, no one else's opinions matter. 

This year led to me growing in ways I never thought possible. When I started this year, I said that I was in a better mindset then I ever had before but I still felt burnt out and like something didn't click. A year later, I have a much healthier career path, the best friends ever, a fantastic opportunity to combine my loves of writing and wine tasting, and amazing memories. 

What I Read Last Month (November & December 2013)

One thing about my writing is that I feel like I need to write an introduction to everything. I'm pretty sure if I just starting listing books and reviews, you guys would know what was going down. That's not how this is going to work though.

I've recently noticed that I have an interesting problem. Despite having an entire wall of my apartment be bookshelf, I seem to be running out of space for my books. This is an interesting problem because most of my books are on my Kindle. I have a lot of books, paper or digital. Of course, there are other things on the bookshelves (mostly wine) but still, quite a few books. I'm sure you'll probably ask why I don't just put things on those top right 3 shelves. Well, readers, I'm not very tall. I'm perfectly average height and it turns out those shelves are more than an arms reach above my head. "But Nikki, there are other books on the top shelf..." Yea, I'm probably not going to read those. I'll need to figure out my space management because I've recently discovered that as much as I like buying Kindle books, they're usually $10 and used books are like $2. I'm no Economist - oh wait, yes I am - but I know a deal when I see one. Anyways, I wrote some things about books!

I decided to merge November and December because I didn't quite get around to writing the November post so this is more of a "best of" list!

Ender's Game

This book has been on my peripheral ever since Freshman year of High School when the school showed us all how to use the library and recommended some books we all might like. My interests were a little different then and my first thought was "Ew, space" and decided to rent a book about a ballerina with anorexia. 

10+ something years later I saw the movie trailer and was like "Oh, that actually looks pretty good - well, better read the book first." Even though Boyfriend was saying for months that he wanted to see the movie when it came out, I started it on release day. 

I actually really liked this book! The battle room scenes were really cool and I was really looking forward to how they would portray them in the movie. Some of the descriptions were a little tough to understand so knowing that I would soon be able to visualize them was really exciting. 

The twist at the end was really interesting. It seems like the other Ender's books will be pretty different so I'm not sure if I'll read them or not. Boyfriend says I should at least read Ender's Shadow as it is the same story from a different perspective. I think I need a little break from serious books but this might be a good one to come back to when I'm done reading silly books.

Wild

When this book was pitched in book club, the selling point for me was that it was written by advice columnist "Dear Sugar." I remembered finding one of her quotes and falling in love with it. It went:

"Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or heavy as the sacrifices we make for our children. It can be romantic, platonic, familial, fleeting, everlasting, conditional, unconditional, imbued with sorrow, stoked by sex, sullied by abuse, amplified by kindness, twisted by betrayal, deepened by time, darkened by difficulty, leavened by generosity, nourished by humor and 'loaded with promises and commitments' that we may or may not want or keep. The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherfucking shit out of it."

I found that quote years ago when I was heartbroken and in a bit of a tough time. The ideas behind it really helped me and were a large part of the original foundation of this blog (doing a new thing each week). Even though the topic of the book didn't excite me, I had a feeling that someone who could touch me so much with a single quote would probably be able to write a damn good book... and I was really, really right.
Cheryl's story actually begins with the loss and heartache she feels when her mother unexpectedly dies of cancer. This loss shatters her life and causes her to make a plethora of bad decisions that lead to drug addiction and divorce. She knows she needs to do something to pick up the pieces and when she sees a guide book on the Pacific Crest Trail, she decides that she will hike a stretch of it through California and Oregon (the full trail goes from Mexico to Canada).
As an inexperienced backpacker, she faces many mishaps along the way, but her struggles and experiences along the way help build her into the person she is going to become, the kind of person that writes an advice column with quotes that help others move through their own struggles.

Batman: The Killing Joke

After I got over my "wow that was a lot of dark books" phase, I decided to read this comic in between a couple of full books. I knew it would be dark and touch on a lot of uncomfortable topics, but it was definitely more disturbing than I had thought it would. For some background - I knew going in that it would involve shooting someone in the spine leading to paralysis and hints of possible rape... and I found it more disturbing than I had imagined. Basically, don't take this one lightly if it's one you want to read. I was reading it on my phone on the train and I was worried someone would see my screen and think I had some serious issues. 

What I did really like about it though was that it gave a Joker origin story. Although he's had many before and frankly, the best Jokers have no background, it was still fun to read his via flashbacks. It was even more fun when he admitted that it was only a possible background and he likes to change them. 

Although the comic was dark and disturbing, as a big Batman fan, I'm glad I read this pivotal comic and I'm looking forward to reading some more of them. 


Other books I read:
Hyperbole and a Half
Good Omens
Mr. Penumbra's 24 Hour Book Store